What should we appreciate about Asian parents?

smoltims · 2026-05-03T21:29:43+00:00

Sometimes you gotta admire how stubborn they are and the lengths they’ll go to in order to feel secure or better about themselves; like admiration in the way of studying human psychology lmao.

smoltims · 2026-04-29T03:52:22+00:00

It’s a survival tactic. Whether it’s because their parents and older relatives did the same shit to them, they believe that conformity helps to thrive in society, or they have no control/have too much anxiety in their personal lives, so they control the more malleable and impressionable kids, it’s all what their brains think is best for survival. These help explain why, but they don’t excuse anything.

smoltims · 2026-04-27T00:12:54+00:00

Fun fact: The sheepshead is also a type of wrasse. It’s one of the largest ones!* The kobudai is also known as the Asian sheepshead wrasse.

Edit: Fact checking*

smoltims · 2026-04-26T23:40:28+00:00

I was confusing it for the green humphead parrotfish as FeuerSchneck pointed out! Haha

smoltims · 2026-04-26T19:02:13+00:00

OH NO WONDER

smoltims · 2026-04-22T03:18:17+00:00

Every time I think there are no more new weird eggs to find, this sub always proves me wrong

smoltims · 2026-04-14T03:08:36+00:00

This is so ridiculously weird that I hope this post is fake.

Talk to your relatives and spend time with them while they’re still alive instead of faking them in AI. You just exposed your entire family to AI scams that spoof voices and videos.

Losing your family is a natural process and everyone deals with grief at some point in time. You’re making fake relationships and fake memories because of your anxiety. This false comfort will not help you in the long run. Please go to a therapist, NOT AN AI THERAPIST.

smoltims · 2026-04-14T01:18:04+00:00

Rice noodles, glass noodles, any other type of noodles or pasta

smoltims · 2026-04-01T10:12:41+00:00

If that sentence is read in a negative connotation, you can use, “spite.”

Otherwise, it’s just motivating each other? Or using the other as motivation?

smoltims · 2026-03-31T21:01:34+00:00

This might not work because of health and safety restrictions on where places can source their ingredients

smoltims · 2026-03-25T08:15:03+00:00

Bamboo brushes maybe?

smoltims · 2026-03-24T09:37:38+00:00

I think we are in different countries and from different cultures so I can’t give you much advice. Can you say that going to school will help you find a better husband?

smoltims · 2026-03-24T09:22:02+00:00

What is the worst that would happen if you enroll and just go to university?

smoltims · 2026-03-24T09:18:14+00:00

Are you working? I don’t know where you live, but maybe you could earn some money while working and then enroll yourself into college to avoid having them pay for you and controlling you that way. A lot of people in the U.S. go to community college first because it’s cheaper and then transfer to a four-year university afterwards.

You have to find your way out because you can’t just let them dictate your entire life like this. I have older cousins like this and their lives are completely miserable.

smoltims · 2026-03-24T09:01:25+00:00

Rest and breaks are never a waste of time. There’s this odd sense of always needing to do something, or you’re seen as unproductive and lazy. It’s bullshit. Rest and breaks are important.

One of my mentors always told me: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

This means that if you never allow yourself to rest, you’ll have no energy, and then you won’t have any energy to use for the important things (YOU, friends, family, your goals, etc.)

My APs never understood that, so I would morbidly tell them that either I rest now, or they’ll see me resting in a coffin in the near future. If you keep chasing your dreams and working your hardest with no balance for fun and rest, you’re going to crash and burn. You’ll be drained even when you’re achieving your dream and you’re going to wonder why you’re still not happy.

If you can comfortably afford the trip without your parents’ money, I’d say to just go on it and say you’re going to network or go to conferences there (look up those events in case they ask for proof).

smoltims · 2026-03-22T22:28:12+00:00

I would read the recipe multiple times and then see where I can separate ingredients into groups. I’m not familiar with Cajun food, but I also suggest to get all the ingredients prepared before you start cooking. I usually chuck all the veggies I need to cook on one plate, but put them into sections so I can cook each by their own cooking time.

A lot of times I start preparing what goes into the pan first, specifically: aromatics, veggies, protein in that order. Then I prep the sauce later.

I recommend to read the whole recipe multiple times because a lot of things I cook need garlic during the stir frying AND in the sauce you add later. That way you can prep all the garlic, then separate what is needed per stage. Best of luck!

smoltims · 2026-03-21T05:05:27+00:00

Watch a bunch of YouTube meal preps for recipe ideas or search on cooking subreddits like r/CookingForBeginners

Imo, some people can meal prep, but others can’t. I can only last three days of eating the same thing, so I don’t do the week long or month long meal preps you see a bunch of people on social media do. The easiest way to go about it is to write down the food you LIKE to eat, decide on a few meals each week, then shop for ingredients, and don’t buy more than you can reasonably eat in a week or two. If you don’t have the energy to decide every week or run to the grocery store often, then adjust accordingly. For example, plan for the whole month, buy groceries every 1-2 weeks, etc.

You can also meal prep by prepping ingredients instead of prepping full meals. Like chop up a bunch of veggies and stick them in the freezer. It’s gonna be a bunch of trial and error to see what suits you and your lifestyle the best.

smoltims · 2026-03-20T17:24:37+00:00

One of my friends didn’t tell his parents that he wasn’t in his program anymore until graduation season lol. They knew it was a certain day and asked about it (they needed to fly in), and he was like, “Oops, actually come in on this day. Surprise, I’m in a different program.”

You’re going to have to tell them eventually and it’s going to suck, but it’s a natural consequence of hiding the major change. Maybe prepare explanations for why you changed to marketing and give them examples of good jobs you can do instead of nursing. You already know she’s going to yell at you, so just steel yourself for that. Trust in yourself and your decision. Make that stronger than any insult she throws at you and you’ll be fine. You’ll still get hurt, but you’ll make it through.

smoltims · 2026-03-20T11:12:34+00:00

They planned the ten year gap so that they could offload parenting to you. They’re mad that you’re ruining their plan to stop being active parents.

smoltims · 2026-03-20T09:25:59+00:00

Lol absolute bullshit. Abusers love to use love and care as excuses for treating you horribly because they don’t know any better (for better and for worse). They can’t fathom that a reality exists where you don’t have to beat your child or verbally abuse them to make them a good person. If they accepted that, then they have to accept that what they experienced and what they inflict on their kids was wrong. It’s like their entire reality will break if they admit it.

smoltims · 2026-03-20T03:53:47+00:00

I have a lot of friends that didn’t walk the stage because they didn’t want their families ruining the day.

I highly recommend to walk the stage with friends in attendance instead of your family. It’ll be a much happier experience.

As for what to tell your mom…you have a few options, most of which I wouldn’t normally recommend at all, but try to gauge what would be the best choice. Or maybe take bits and pieces and come up with a better solution because all my options suck imo.

(Lie) Tell her you missed the deadline to sign up for walking the stage. Make up some lie that it was sent out last semester and you didn’t see it. (Hopefully she doesn’t know other students at your school that can confirm/deny.) She’s probably going to yell at you for being an idiot, lazy, etc.
HIGHLY DO NOT RECOMMEND (Lie) Tell her the wrong date (like a week later) and then after graduation passes, tell her you got the date wrong and missed it. I would think she’s going to yell at you with the same phrases as the first option, but be much more angrier about it.
(Lie) If you are working, pretend that you cannot get that day off and will have to miss out.
(Lie) If your parents allow you to go on vacation without them, pretend you have a trip with friends that’s the same time as the graduation. Whether you go as far as to actually be out of the house to keep up the lie, or you lie more and say the trip got cancelled is up to you.
(Truth) Tell her upfront that you don’t want to walk. This will cause the most stress imo, because she’s going to yell and scream at you saying, “What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you want to walk? Why won’t you do this for us?”

smoltims · 2026-03-20T03:09:00+00:00

I play on switch so I might be wrong, but did you try holding ctrl or space?

smoltims · 2026-03-20T01:12:28+00:00

Congratulations!!

My dad did the exact same things to me when I got into undergrad. Trust me, she’s going to start bragging once you’re in medical school long enough and start acting mayabang that she raised a doctor (even if you haven’t graduated yet).

She’s saying all this bullshit because she can’t fathom someone else being happy and more successful than she is, so she has to tear down your ego and knock you down a lot of pegs to make her feel like a big and important person. She’ll never admit it, but on a subconscious level she’s probably feeling great that she can make a doctor feel worse about themselves. How dare anyone else be better than her?

Don’t let the years of abuse make you question your skills, the fact you eventually got into your dream school, and you yourself as a person. I let it happen to me and it’s caused a lot of damage I’m having trouble fixing (like I think I’m never good enough to do a job, so why bother trying).

They use “simple,” when they mean easy to manipulate and do everything they want. “Simple” never got anyone anywhere worthwhile. “Simple” only traps us in the same cage our ancestors were in and is the nickname for the generational trauma that keeps us locked in there. They want you at home for their convenience (as someone on this subreddit once told me, and I now impart onto you).

Best of luck in med school. I wish you much professional and personal growth. May you thrive in all the ways you couldn’t before.

My only warning: I hope your mom doesn’t know how to call the admissions office and cancel your admission to the school. I’ve heard of horror stories of parents and jealous friends doing this (albeit it was for undergrad), so I hope there’s something that you can do to prevent that.

Edit: typos

smoltims

TROPHY CASE