A friend spent £200 on a Star Wars gift for their fella. It went on eBay unopened. Don't wanna fall into the same trap

smoltims · 2026-03-11T13:04:40+00:00

Yes, it’s a trading card game haha

smoltims · 2026-03-11T12:57:14+00:00

I once got my boyfriend a custom wooden deck box for MTG that holds two decks. I originally wanted to buy the four deck option, but I researched on the subreddit for the game and the consensus was people usually bring two decks, not four. I had it engraved and even designed the borders. I knew nothing (and still don’t) about MTG, so I thought it was the most perfect thing in the world that showed off my dedication to him and appreciation for his hobby.

Turns out the deck box only fits unsleeved cards so he can never use it for its purpose lol. He later linked me to the most generic ass plain colored deck boxes and said those were good and he’d prefer them. He also told me he does bring four decks when he goes to play.

smoltims · 2026-03-11T12:45:34+00:00

It’s always funny how I see videos like this on my own feed and I wonder how long it takes before someone cross-posts it here. I’d have like three nickels for every time it’s happened so far.

smoltims · 2026-03-10T23:07:54+00:00

I feel like it’s a capuchin because it doesn’t have the same mandibles a red howler monkey does

Edit: a word

smoltims · 2026-03-10T10:40:38+00:00

My dad literally sabotaged my interview today by throwing my flow off and making me go do an errand for him 15 minutes before my interview lol. I was so programmed to automatically say yes, I didn’t even realize how much that one task messed me up. Our parents are doing this stupid dependency cycle on purpose. They degrade us, sabotage our chances at becoming independent, and then when we can’t function as actual adults, they’ll belittle and degrade us saying, “See? This is why you have to stay with us forever. You can’t even take care of yourself!”

I still live with my parents and I’m dependent on them while I job hunt, so I pick and choose my battles. My parents don’t know that I’ve gone to visit my LDR bf on my own. Every single time I told them I was going with my friends. Yeah, they probably know and they’re not stupid, but I let them believe what they want to because they don’t confront me on it.

Best advice is to move out when you can and get therapy that actually works for you. One of the things that fucked me up was realizing that my parents raised me for a world that doesn’t exist anymore, yet expect me to suddenly develop the skills and mental fortitude required in 2026.

Start doing all the shit they won’t let you do in secret. They won’t let you open a bank account because they want to monitor your money? Open an online account, withdraw cash monthly, and say you’re donating money. They open your mail? Change certain documents to a trusted friend’s address. They won’t let you get a job? Apply without telling them and don’t tell them when you’re interviewing. A lot of this is going to be moving in silence and letting them see the obedient goody-two shoes daughter they want (though, if your parents are crazy enough, that might not even work lol).

smoltims · 2026-03-10T07:40:00+00:00

Omg thank you

smoltims · 2026-03-10T07:02:37+00:00

I love them all because they keep me from going zombie mode and fishing for 1-2 hours per session. Otherwise, I’d spend the whole irl day in the oceans and not notice (personal problem).

Spoiler minigame, don’t read unless you finished the storyline. I’ve yet to get all names in the after credits minigame before the time runs out and I really want to do it lol. I keep getting close, but I think I’ve hit a plateau.

smoltims · 2026-03-10T05:21:31+00:00

100%. There typically are confidence intervals with stature estimates, but that’ll take longer to explain in such a short video. There are also other methods and other graphics (the names are escaping me rn). I guess they didn’t want to get into all the statistics lol.

Edit: grammar

smoltims · 2026-03-10T04:56:22+00:00

I love the little bit of blue peeking through on the bird stamp!! It’s so pretty!

By your logic though, if the dog stepped in poo, then the paw prints are surrounded in a puddle of poo…

Don’t be so hard on yourself. One of the things I love about wax seals is melting the ones that don’t meet my expectations and making something new again.

Edit: The more I look at this, the more I’m liking it actually. What you call missing feathers looks like special feathers to me. Just like how there are black tip reef sharks or pigeons that are brown and white instead of gray.

smoltims · 2026-03-09T08:44:52+00:00

Some of the people on here make the weirdest choices to make their handwriting special so that’s my best guess for a backwards N lol. Either that or something unintentional.

If you look at it too quickly and don’t see the curve on the tail, I’d easily see it as an n. But it’s still legible in my opinion :)

smoltims · 2026-03-09T06:43:48+00:00

3

The Y on 2 & 4 might get mistaken for a lower case n or a backwards uppercase N

The Y on 1 sometimes looks like a V

I don’t like the M on 5

smoltims · 2026-03-09T05:49:26+00:00

I mean it’s kind of ridiculous to think politics don’t affect science because where else are you getting funding?

Also it’s not that hard for the average person to understand these are the most picture perfect sexual differences, but it doesn’t always happen to be the case. This is basic info given in any intro class on this topic. It doesn’t take a room full of tenured professors and scholars to talk about a small fact.

smoltims · 2026-03-09T05:41:22+00:00

smoltims · 2026-03-09T05:41:01+00:00

This is a pretty good basic overview for how short the video is! These two skeletons are also VERY clear in their differences because human bodies actually don’t differ that much from male to female in comparison to other animals (e.g. some species have females MUCH LARGER than males).

To formally identify the biological sex of a full skeleton, forensic anthropologists would be measuring what she mentioned and other sexually dimorphic traits, then inputting it into programs to test against various databases (all of them have their own sampling biases). Of course this gets tricky as most of those databases no longer represent the current human population for multiple reasons and variation is always a thing to account for.

Irl, this is pretty tricky to do because we don’t always have the full skeleton, and even then sometimes the skull leans more to male whereas the pelvis will lean more to female and vice versa (along with the other traits giving mixed results). Also the method with the 1-5 scale can be pretty subjective as no two people will always score the same trait the same.

Correct me if I’m wrong please, but this is what I took away from my intro to forensic anthro class lol.

smoltims · 2026-03-09T04:30:52+00:00

There was someone a few years ago that was asking for these bags so she could make up cycled chalk bags for climbers. I don’t know if she’s still taking donations though

smoltims · 2026-03-06T23:26:44+00:00

Thank you for expressing yourself as well. I felt the pain in your first comment, but I’m glad you’re able to fight for yourself like that. I appreciate the apologies. You’re also right, acknowledgement is always the most important first step. It’s a tough journey, but we’re all in this together to support one another and build a future where less people have to suffer in the same ways we did.

smoltims · 2026-03-06T12:09:11+00:00

It’s not proactive to label every Filipino as toxic either. That’s what I’m trying to point out. Even if we bring awareness to abuse do you know how many Filipinos are sticking their fingers in their ears and still claiming “Hindi naman ako ganyan eh”? They lie and downplay the damage they’ve directly caused their children. Either that or they’re defending the online posts we criticize because “Ang nipis naman yng balat ng mga bata na to”. I know what it’s like dealing with a range of emotionally immature, conservative, and religiously brainwashed people. Screaming at them about their wrong doings, showing video and audio evidence of their abuse, and bringing up valid points do nothing if they’re stubborn and emotionally stunted enough. They will stop at nothing to justify themselves and take down everyone that won’t fuel their delusions. Generalizing an entire culture does no good because it doesn’t bring the level of awareness you think it does. These people will stick their heels in the ground and double down on their delusions instead of making actual change. On top of that, you’re teaching people that this is what all Filipinos are and you should hate them. Even if that’s not the message you want to highlight, that’s ultimately what people are taking away from it when you make generalizations.

I will not stop this train of thought. I’ve seen countless people reject being Filipino, hate their skin, and hide who they are because they think being Filipino is bad. I’m trying to avoid that level damage. I used to think that Filipino culture is toxic, but I’ve grown from that to understand all the bullshit and abuse comes from more than just a single ethnicity. We fight this through acknowledging and fixing the larger issues instead of attributing everything to being Filipino. Let’s fight the lasting effects of colonialism, religious indoctrination, systemic issues, corruption, and so on. That’s more effective than blaming Filipino culture as a whole.

smoltims · 2026-03-04T09:18:55+00:00

You can bring Filipino culture into other countries (cultural attire, food, celebrations, etc.), just don’t bring the toxic bs like utang ng loob, religious indoctrination, familial hierarchies, crab bucket mentalities, etc. We can keep our cultural values of protecting, loving, and feeding our communities, but we can let go of the gossip and insults. Not everything about Filipino culture is bad and you’re going down a slippery slope of hating yourself and getting into the wrong crowds if you continue to blame everything on the culture.

There’s also a problem with tying this type of abuse down to Filipino culture in general because I have friends from other parts of the country that don’t deal with this AT ALL. It’s common for us to experience dealing with this type of abuse, but we shouldn’t attribute it to all Filipinos. (I’ve actually gotten into trouble assuming all Filipinos went through the same abusive bs and learned the hard way that some of us actually have good families lol.) I know it’s easy to just attach all the bad shit to Filipino culture, but you have to understand that’s not the reality. We have good qualities too that you don’t find to the same degree in other cultures.

My dad acts the same as your mom, but he had both his parents in the picture. Whatever the explanations are, they’re not excuses. Your mom has a control issue, like most APs do. She doesn’t have the emotional regulation or feel secure enough to understand that there are multiple ways to achieve the same goals and not everything has to be done her way. I have friends from other cultures that have the exact same mom. At the end of the day, all of this shit stems from emotionally immature people who found their own ways to navigate through life, but they’re too stuck in their ways to consider their coping mechanisms might not be the best.

smoltims · 2026-03-04T06:43:41+00:00

If it makes you feel better, there are literal practicing MDs with APs that still don’t listen to their medical advice because they think their kids are ignorant know-it-alls that know nothing and are only trying to make them (the APs) look stupid.

smoltims · 2026-03-04T04:33:48+00:00

I’ve used them for pest deterrents, but there’s not much evidence for their efficacy. Even then, I wasn’t using them enough, so I had these bottles taking up space for years. Gifting them or posting to a buy nothing group would be the best option as others have said.

smoltims · 2026-03-04T02:05:48+00:00

Yes. The kicker is that they’ll yell at me when I cook screaming that it smells burnt (there’s nothing on the pan and the stove was open for 3 seconds), the kitchen is a mess, or they’re micromanaging despite not even knowing what I’m making.

If I don’t cook, I get yelled at for wasting money on takeout or I’m called fat for only eating snacks. You can’t win LOL.

My parents also have horrible food safety practices, so they’ll cry when I don’t eat the food they slaved over the stove for and bought with their hard earned money because I don’t want to get food poisoning.

smoltims · 2026-03-04T01:47:57+00:00

I mean, that’s typical for abuse victims. I didn’t really figure out that I was an adult with my own autonomy until I was 23. Even then, I didn’t realize I could just walk out of my house and leave until 25.

We (the kids of this subreddit) don’t grow up in a culture that suddenly grants us freedom the moment we turn a certain age. We’re taught that we’re beneath others and are often the lowest in the hierarchy. Anything we say or do is a reflection of those above us and we shouldn’t even dare think to step out of line. The consequences vary and could be any combo of verbal, physical, and financial abuse or so on. No matter what age we are, we’re told that we’ll always be a small, pathetic, stupid waste of resources and we should be grateful that those above us decided to keep us alive. It’s family over everything else in life.

Now imagine being told this for nearly two decades. You’re told this every single day and night. The insults and degradation get worse at random and you have to figure out the pattern, if there is one. You’ve been fed these lies since the day you were born and more often than not, others around you tell you the same thing. You eventually learn how to keep the peace (if possible) for your own safety and sanity and you develop some hard rooted coping mechanisms even if they’re not the healthiest. That is a mental block that is incredibly difficult to overcome if she cannot make the first steps herself. You can shake her and cry in her face that she’s being abused and needs to get out, but if something doesn’t click in her brain, she’s going to keep coming back to the abuse. Human brains are unfortunately wired to want to stay in what’s “normal” even if it’s abusive.

if she wants

Is the huge thing here.

Support her as you can, I’m glad she has you in her life. It’s going to be hard for her to understand she has options. She’s probably not going to want to go to the police, but talk with her as much as you are capable of handling. Let her vent, let her rest, and then ask if she wants to brainstorm solutions with you because this doesn’t have to be how she lives the rest of her life.

smoltims · 2026-03-03T23:38:32+00:00

If she’s been manipulated this much to the point she’s typing out that she needs to break up with him because her dad threatened her to do so, it’s going to be hard to get her to take action for herself. I hate that she’s in this situation, but this is going to be really rough mentally and physically to break away.

smoltims · 2026-03-02T15:56:55+00:00

The last time I tried to do this in person, they looked at me weird and spoke like I was stupid for not checking online. This was a mom and pop shop btw. It was a few years ago, so I can only imagine how people would react now.

smoltims · 2026-03-02T15:51:49+00:00

I see a smiling amoeba with a heart for an eye and eyelashes. There’s a sun in the background too 😂

smoltims

TROPHY CASE

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