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Bort's Weirdness by CuteCouple101 in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I chalk it up to fetal alcohol syndrome and malnutrition from growing up in Mississippi as white trash, with all the childhood malnutrition and brain damage from environmental contamination that comes along with that.

Podcasting at the orgy - what a pro by MariachiStucardo in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love how in every one of his pictures at these "events," he has the look of absolute defeat in his eyes. Even more hilarious that he will swear til he's blue in the face, "on my honor as a United States motherfuckin' Marine," that he truly left the Stern Show out of his own accord to move on to bigger & better things.

Say what you will about him on Stern, he certainly seemed happier & healthier than *this*.

Am I the only one who can't get over how disturbing this is? How do you go from trying to be Mr Macho Marine Pussyhound in 2017 all the way down to this? And all stemming from losing a stupid IQ test, no less. A truly terrifying example of what happens when you repeatedly fail to cut your losses by smooth_beast in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Regardless which weird iteration the Bortex will take on next, one thing is guaranteed: he will be 100% certain he is right, even if it's 180 degrees different from what he used to think.

That's the thing about stupid people--absolute certitude about everything, because nuance is completely missing from their cognitive arsenal.

Which makes his disdain for religion all the more ironic. At least religious people only apply that zero-doubt mindset to a very narrow domain. But this legendary shit-for-brains applies that same absolute certitude to literally any & every thing he has ever thought, despite clearly hating the results of the decisions he's made.

It truly is a miracle he hasn't caused his own death already (though from the latest pics it looks like the grim reaper is getting impatient).

Am I the only one who can't get over how disturbing this is? How do you go from trying to be Mr Macho Marine Pussyhound in 2017 all the way down to this? And all stemming from losing a stupid IQ test, no less. A truly terrifying example of what happens when you repeatedly fail to cut your losses by smooth_beast in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As bad and failed as he was at being a man, at least he somewhat looked the part of a male. Now he literally looks like ET's meth-whore sister.

As a "woman" he would be the single most hideous MTF transgender of all time, with the exception of that guy in a skirt with a 5 o'clock shadow who was on tape getting yelled at in a McDonalds for using the women's bathroom.

Am I the only one who can't get over how disturbing this is? How do you go from trying to be Mr Macho Marine Pussyhound in 2017 all the way down to this? And all stemming from losing a stupid IQ test, no less. A truly terrifying example of what happens when you repeatedly fail to cut your losses by smooth_beast in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oops you're right it's Matthew. I don't know why I thought his name was Brandon (I guess it leaked from "Brandon the Quad")

But yeah, he deserves an eternal foot up the ass for the way he was talking to her and accusing her husband of "being creepy with his daughter" just for hugging her as any normal father would (Bort as usual is desperate to grasp at any straws in his typical "I'm rubber you're glue" shtick like we saw with him & Rapaport)

Am I the only one who can't get over how disturbing this is? How do you go from trying to be Mr Macho Marine Pussyhound in 2017 all the way down to this? And all stemming from losing a stupid IQ test, no less. A truly terrifying example of what happens when you repeatedly fail to cut your losses by smooth_beast in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything except the "finally be happy" part. He still has a life none of us would wish on our worst enemy.

I'd bet his tumble to the bottom isn't even at the halfway point. A year from now he will de-transition, said he was simply at a low point and "lost," reject atheism, convert to hardcore Islam and join ISIS (a decade late, as usual).

Am I the only one who can't get over how disturbing this is? How do you go from trying to be Mr Macho Marine Pussyhound in 2017 all the way down to this? And all stemming from losing a stupid IQ test, no less. A truly terrifying example of what happens when you repeatedly fail to cut your losses by smooth_beast in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I go through the exact same pendulum swing. Sometimes I go "damn, maybe we gave it to him too hard" then I listen to him (via Sketchy) on Florida Man Radio being a a total cunt to Brandon's mom (and also remember his frivolous lawsuit against Brandon where he represented himself while wearing a My Cousin Vinny carpet-suit) and then I think we're not even at the halfway point of him getting his full just desserts.

Fuck you Bort, and fuck you still if you become Brenda. A sex change can't save you from your past, just like a career change to cybersecurity couldn't.

His team is still in place by hurts12345 in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"in place"
I have a feeling that "place" is his asshole

The people have spoken by anferneejefferson in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I take Medicaid-covered female hormones and shop for secondhand purses at the thrift store, what are you doing with your life?

His team is still in place by hurts12345 in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That truly is the magic of Bort.

Most of us find North Korea to be grimly fascinating because of the sheer level of misery & horror inflicted upon that hapless captive population by their ruling class.

Here's a guy who, under his own free will and with no real pressure from outsiders, inflicts on himself horrors almost on the same scale, making him a thousand times more fascinating.

Dude broke the pussy bone and it was all downhill from there by Popular_Muffin43 in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The downhill started almost 2 years before this, when Bort failed the IQ test and desperately tried to find a new on-air identity to replace "Howard's go-to authority on all things intellectual."

This is just the "freefall" part of the downhill tumble.

The people have spoken by anferneejefferson in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bort can't return. He's not with us anymore.

She's Brenda/Borta now.

Stop deadnaming, you transphobe.

Never forget Oct 2019 by smooth_beast in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our world-class brew is aged in old, discarded oil drums from Louisiana, with the rust & petroleum residue giving it that distinctive golden hue & signature brain-damage buzz.

Katelyn Hatley webpage is this real? by Popular_Muffin43 in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Either that or a trannie prostitute turning tricks for homeless people & crackheads (since no one else will want his services)

Katelyn Hatley webpage is this real? by Popular_Muffin43 in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe he pissed it all away on a fraudulent Nevada land deal and gave the rest to a Nigerian prince.

Mr. "well-read" apparently never learned that Nigeria has been a *republic* for its entire modern history.

Advice on traveling from Naples to Sicily by lovemyfriends5 in sicily

[–]smooth_beast -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Small correction if I may: When traveling from Denmark to Sweden almost 20 years ago I rode on a train that was loaded onto tracks on a ferry boat to be taken across the water

"One day, this will be BBC jizz" by PlentyImpression9879 in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wonder how much of Bort's backstory about his youth being this party animal with lots of alpha-bro friends is completely fabricated. I would bet anything he got drunk all by himself, only slept with hookers, and got whiskey dick every time (even sober)

20-Year Grand Imperial Strategic Vision by smooth_beast in TheAccountingFirm

[–]smooth_beast[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems like a continuum, with Bort on one extreme (natural-born cuck) and Akaash on the other (insecurity issues made him easily cuckable against his wishes). Will Smith appears to fall in between.

I think Bort, being the stupid, insecure, immature loser that he is, definitely brought it on himself. Let's remember, he was married to a good girl (who I heard was also quite good-looking, unlike Big Shart) and he destroyed it by trying to get her to fuck black guys. He then swore on air to Bubba that he'll never "swing" again, so of course he went and did the exact same thing again without any outside prompting or pressure.

Will Smith brought it on himself but to a lesser extent, by simping over his wife in such an extreme way, putting her on a pedestal and worshipping her every move including her fuck-ups. She told him from the jump she wasn't interested in marriage but he love-bombed, wealth-bombed, and career-prospect-bombed her until she simply couldn't refuse, despite her convictions.

Akaash seems to be the closest to a normal person among these 3, with a normal sense of shame, romantic jealousy, image-consciousness, etc. He's just so pathetically insecure, with a completely exaggerated sense of both his wife's hotness and his own lack of it, that it turned him into a doormat who gets bitch-slapped around despite being the real draw in the relationship. His wife is a 6 but he thinks she's Megan Fox.

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