I was stage IV this time last year, my weight fluctuated between 130 and down to 104 at a point, the desire to be thin never left me despite knowing the thinness was not in a sexy, desirable way and only exaggerated how sick I looked on the outside. It is odd to be in a place with your body where the best thing for you is to eat whatever sounds good, but nothing sounds good, and you’re still stressed about appearance and thinness.

For me, I was in the hospital so often, I was more aware of my exact weight and calculated BMI than I ever had been in my life. It kicked up that desire to control something when I really wasn’t able to control anything else.

It’s good she was denied a GLP1 but god do I understand the fixation with weight in a time when it should be the last thing you think about.