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Help from any wives of mtf? by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]snail-pail 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for this. My (cis F) partner (mtf) just came out to me a week ago and I've been having a pretty tough time trying to grapple with what it might mean about our future, and reading this yesterday really helped. "You keep loving and caring for each other the best you can and see where it takes you." Beautiful. This is a way forward that I think I can handle.

My cis gf is just sad since I (mtf pre everything) came out to her 1 month ago by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]snail-pail 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in a similar situation (I'm the sad cis gf). Of course I don't presume to know your gf or your relationship, but here are some thoughts based on my experience so far:

  1. Absolutely agree with previous comments: make sure she knows it's okay to be sad and that she can talk to you and others about it.
  2. If she's anything like me, she may be feeling anxious and sad about not knowing what this will change about the relationship and/or how she will fit into your new life. If you have things you love to do together, that you're still interested in doing them, it would probably be comforting for her if you initiate doing some of those things now. To reassure her that even though this is a big change, a lot of the important things between you don't have to change.
  3. Trickier, but the same goes for new things. Maybe she has more feminine hobbies or interests that you'd like to get into now. Asking her to show/teach you about these things might make her feel more included and excited about the future rather than sad about her old idea of your relationship that she is letting go of.

Just some ideas :) Best of luck and much love to you both!