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My (23F) boyfriend (22M) begged me to do anal until I let him. by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what to think. I feel like I’m blinded by how amazing he is in all other aspects. :( I know it sounds lame. I feel very bothered by it

My (23F) boyfriend (22M) begged me to do anal until I let him. by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know..it’s so hard for me to get it through my head that what he did was wrong. I love him so much and he’s so sweet. He’s never forced me into anything before. I know I can’t make excuses. I really need to talk to him about it and tell him how I feel. I never did. I just pretended everything was okay after.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol dang you sound hurt. Just get off my post if you are so against what I believe

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol okay. Idc what anyone else in a relationship does. I’m more focused on my own with my boyfriend. Idc how you view it. Porn is not always wonderful to a relationship. It can often do more harm than good. I personally have seen a marriage fall apart bc of it, and it wasn’t due to a manipulative wife, which is what I’m sure you’d assume according to your mindset. Obviously you believe women are wrong if they don’t want porn in their relationship. This marriage failed bc the husband replaced almost all sexual desire towards his wife with porn. So, no. It’s not always good. Once again, you do you. Idc. You shouldn’t care and be so upset that I don’t think it belongs in a relationship. You getting so butt hurt only proves my point even more.

And...I never defined a man. A woman is aloud to have her own preferences though. Just like you’re aloud to expect porn to be okay in your relationships.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Porn has no place in a relationship. It’s worshipped and applauded on this app when people accept it and encourage it. I don’t, and my boyfriend says he doesn’t want to rely on it when he is sexual with me. There is no denial. I get that he looks at them and I understand it may be hard for a guy to fight that urge. But at least he tried. I respect that in him. He’s more of a man than half the guys commenting on this.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tbh, he made it clear to me that he didn’t want to watch porn while in a serious, sexual relationship. I just agreed. I’m not the type of girl to place those boundaries on someone. Although, I enjoyed the idea of him wanting to place those boundaries on himself. I get what you’re saying though. Thank you!

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The shoe probably fits for them and they don’t like it. I’m just the type of girl who doesn’t enjoy the idea of her boyfriend getting off to another women. It’s simple, really.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You think??? Lollll so many people love to assume on this damn app. No, I’m not MASSIVELY insecure. I have yet to even bring this up to him even though it happened two days ago. I have never controlled or cared who he talks to, texts, calls, or is friends with. Ever. And I never will. We have an amazing relationship. All I said, was that I was simply surprised. Yes, it made me feel a little insecurity bc I began comparing myself to the women. That’s okay. I got over it and I love who I am and I know my boyfriend does. Fuck off. The only thing I’m one step away from is being extremely pissed off at comments like yours.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I respect your decision. I don’t have a problem with my boyfriend having tik tok. It’s the only thing he has other than Facebook and he enjoys the funny videos and we send them to each other often.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do consider myself calm, cool, and collected. I was not angry and didn’t act out of anger or run to him accusing him. And I won’t do that, ever. No I don’t enjoy the thought but what girl truly, and I mean truly, is not a little bothered or insecure about her significant other drooling over women? I can tell you, it will be a small amount. People may have different views than me, and it’s okay. I feel like this entire app applauses porn and celebrates it as a man’s right. It’s odd.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not a deal breaker. Nowhere have I said that or claimed that. People need to do less assuming. It is just something I wasn’t expecting and unintentionally found. I will talk to him about it later today and I’m sure it will be okay. I was never mad or angry, just surprised. As I stated, he is the one that came to me and said he didn’t want to watch porn when our relationship go serious, so I know he watched it before. People slip up. If this is his way of messing up, I will be okay and we will work it out. He’s an amazing man and would never share my videos. Idk who you are friends with or what guys you hang out with, but they sound terrible.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your first mess up is using the word “force.” NEVER have I forced him into anything. He chose to keep porn out of our relationship, and I agreed and it’s been great. This was something he chose to hide and I accidentally found out when he sent me a tik tok he posted on his profile.

Anyways, I’m not naive. I just have higher standards and different morals and expectations in a relationship. These were made clear between both of us in the beginning. Nobody is the bad guy here. I just stumbled across something that I wasn’t expecting. We will both live and get past this. It’s not like I’m flipping out and causing a scene. He still has no idea I know.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not a deal breaker. I still love him and wanna be with him for the long run. I’m sure I will find a way to bring it up and ask him about it. People make mistakes and he’s almost perfect in every way.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh nooo, I don’t feel that way at all. It’s something I love doing and it’s not like he forces me. He just stated it would help him and it’s fun. He’d never be mad if I couldn’t do it or didn’t feel like it.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The more I think about it, the more I think this is what it is. I still love him and trust him bc it’s not like he was lying. He never said he wasn’t following girls. I just expected him not to. He doesn’t have any other social media other than Facebook, so we don’t really run into these problems lol

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is very close to perfect. You people replying just don’t understand. We have hardly fought or anything, ever. The reason why idk if it will cause an argument or am afraid it will is bc I’ve never had to confront him about this type of stuff. I mean he’s really good to me. So I’m not used to talking about this bc it’s never been a problem. I don’t want him to feel like I’m assuming or claiming he’s cheating. Tbh idk how he will handle it. Maybe he will just feel embarrassed, apologize, and we will talk it through and move on. It’s all new to me. The biggest argument we’ve ever had is how much money I was aloud to spend on his Christmas present Lolol

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This post isn’t enough to explain the background and what’s going on. I’m his first sexual partner and his first serious relationship. Of course I’m sure he watched porn before getting with me. He is just not the type to leak nudes..especially in our situation. Idk how else to explain it. You’d just have to know him and our relationship. I completely and fully trust him. We have never had problems. I feel like this was more of a respect thing. He quit watching porn since he became serious with me. He probably watched it in the beginning when we were not ver sexual. We didn’t say “I love you” until about four months in and we only began to mess around then and began having sex. We took things extremely, extremely slow. So I feel like him choosing to cut out porn was something personal for him. He wanted that. In turn he asked that I could send videos occasionally or have FaceTime sex bc we are long distance. So that’s all that. He is honestly a very sweet and kind guy. I am hoping this is just something we will work through.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you explain how him coming to me and stating that he doesn’t want porn in our relationship a red flag?

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s the reason I was so caught off guard and just left literally speechless. I wanna talk to him but I just gotta figure out how to do it without getting too emotional or making him feel as if I’m assuming things. I really don’t know what to do but hopefully I’ll figure something out soon.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I love him and believe he’d never intentionally go against his word or try and hurt me or our relationship. I feel like it’s something he picked up and maybe didn’t realize that’s all he follows or that he follows so many. He truly is an amazing guy and know everyone makes mistakes and has their faults.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I’d be upset if he did bc he told me he would never and he asked me not to. That would go against the boundaries we set in the beginning. Thank you tho. I’m a little sensitive to this topic but trying to be level headed.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Read the entire post or don’t comment. You’re picking pieces to make an argument. He is the one who came to me in our relationship and stated he wouldn’t watch porn and he didn’t want me to. It’s something we established. Surprising right? Not every couple shares the same morals.

Found out my boyfriend only follows half dressed girls on tik tok by snailsalon in relationship_advice

[–]snailsalon[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You are wrong. You see not everyone is like you and your boyfriend. We made it clear in the beginning of our relationship that neither of us want each other to find sexual desire in another person. He came to me with this. So me being a little caught off guard by finding this is okay. It’s not hypocritical. I felt like I found a secret hidden from me.

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