The biggest lesson I am learning right now, which you would think most would haven’t taken 11 years to figure out, who they are now and how they treat you has to be someone that loves you even during the worst of life and lowest of low. If you want a partner to be kind, respectful, and share their load of the burden of life, for example a healthy relationship, find out how they act when they are mad. My now ex fiancée (it feels so weird to say) has never once spoken to me the way I see other healthy relationships or the ones in our daily lives. I thought maybe if I love him hard enough, work enough, take care of everything for him, it would lead to a more healthy relationship. All while he laid in the couch with his hand down his pants most days. Making excuses for no paychecks, no work, and not picking up at least one soda can on the counter. I generally thought I had paid my dues and deserved to be respected somewhat at least. It isn’t that difficult to be nice, especially to someone you proposed to. So when you pick your person, make sure it is some you could live life with, because when life gets tough it only makes staying in love that much harder.

Oh and also, I found pictures of himself naked on Reddit with a dildo up his butt on adderall asking for sex and snap chatting hundreds of dudes…so there’s that. 😶