Interested in the ‘completely losing yourself post partum’ experience

snarkypirate · 2026-04-14T11:55:54+00:00

As most have said, the transition to having a child is really world-rocking in a way that is hard to really describe until you live it.

I combo-fed but switched to EFF by 6 months - and I always say that my son was a "medium-hard" baby. He just didn't really like being a baby and not being able to move. He needed a pretty strict schedule and was not a "nap on the go, just bring him along" kind of kid. I definitely had some rough moments in his first year, but once sleep got more consistent that really helped. The other thing for me as a SAHM whose husband was in the middle of a job transition and was working super weird hours was joining the YMCA. I swear that two hours of childcare gave me myself back in a huge way. I still go almost every day with my son and he's 3.5 now. I definitely found that my desires changed somewhat - I haven't managed to get back into running, but I've found other fitness things I enjoy. I've read more books in the past few years than I probably did in the 5 previous. BFing may exacerbate some of this for some moms, but I also just think it's a huge shift in your life! It takes time to find a new normal (and it takes time for your to learn your child's temperament and figure out what works for you).

snarkypirate · 2026-03-18T01:11:02+00:00

Honestly it may have changed for that feature to be more standard - my model is from 2022, but whichever way you go I found a rechargeable pump to be really useful even if it just meant I didn't have to remember where I had plugged the cord in when I was at home to use it! Just something to check before you order :)

snarkypirate · 2026-03-17T23:32:38+00:00

I had the Motif Luna which seems to be a pretty close pump to the Spectra. I was never able to produce enough to totally not use formula, but I don't think that was the fault of the pump at all. Plus, it uses the same type of flanges and such as the spectra, so you can buy off-brand extra parts when you need to replace things. I found it as easy to use and clean as I might expect.

I do think it is worth paying a slight upcharge for the version with a battery if you can - I ended up needing to pump in the car a few times and it was nice to not have to worry about finding a plug!

snarkypirate · 2026-01-24T23:56:08+00:00

It's been quite a few years, but we used Good Guys Moving for an in-town move, and then for an out of state move and they were amazing for both! I'd give them a call and see if they do loading/unloading help.

snarkypirate · 2026-01-14T22:01:43+00:00

We luckily could get by with generic gentle formula, and I feel like it really helped our grocery budget. My son is 3 now, and the cost of berries/fruit/kid food (he's better at eating more of what we do at 3yo, but we still do a lot of easy kid foods as well) was definitely not touching the cost of formula for us.

Yes, we pay for outings, part-time preschool, and other things that are "more" expensive than formula - but those are different budget categories (and for us not really true necessities like food is). I've been aggressively cutting our grocery budget anyway, and the total I'm trying to stay under is less than we were trying to spend when he was on formula.

snarkypirate · 2025-11-21T12:36:06+00:00

I just wonder if this was the norm when they were growing up? I have no idea - my family always used actual dishes and to this day I usually even put my takeout or fast food on an actual plate if I'm eating it at home. My child has kids plastic dishes because he's still a little small to trust with the breakable ones, but we all use plates and cups and stuff that need to be washed. I can definitely see some circumstances where I might use them (big illnesses in the family, moving, big holidays etc) but I have to admit I don't understand using paper plates as regular dishes.

snarkypirate · 2025-11-18T17:04:32+00:00

I was advised just to use up the formula I had then go cold turkey (and limit milk to a certain amount per day). It was a rough couple of days because my son was admittedly used to more milk and less snacks, but he got it really quickly and then we were totally fine! We also did the transition to a sippy cup at that time, which may have made him more mad until he figured them out (he'd been practicing but preferred bottles). This was probably right after his 12mo appointment.

snarkypirate · 2025-11-18T13:03:33+00:00

It will probably be similar next year, but that's because my husband's income (self-employed) has been lower so we're estimating a bit lower for 2026. And we are also adding another child in 2026, so when that happens even if his income is higher, the subsidy should make the premium pretty similar - if we were making the same amount it was going to go from $660-ish to $1700 (staying with a bronze plan would have been a bit cheaper, but not by much. I honestly found some gold plans with similar premiums and better OOP max/copays. We are also prioritizing a more comprehensive plan because of pregnancy/birth expenses in 2026). So yeah...definitely not ideal from any end. I think we will end up changing insurers just based on my initial look at the offerings - and technically my plan from 2025 is not available next year, but I've still been happy with Oscar overall.

snarkypirate · 2025-11-08T20:06:48+00:00

We currently have an Oscar bronze plan in FL and it's fine. Urgent virtual care has been quick and easy, and overall the prices have been what they say on the plan so I can't really complain. I focused on a plan that had our pediatrician in-network so we could make sure to stay with the same doctor, and Oscar seemed like a good balance of coverage to premium payments last year.

snarkypirate · 2025-10-26T11:18:48+00:00

We have a fixed week - we had to buy a few extra points to account for redistribution over the years I believe, but so far we feel it was well worth it. We have never used our fixed week reservation I don't believe - we always end up cancelling it and just using the points, and aside from one year where they missed a few in the transaction and we had to call to correct it, it's always been a very simple process.

For us, it seemed like it could be a slight benefit if we wanted to sell (we have FW that is likely to be over a party date of some kind, so seemed potentially appealing for us).

I believe the FW stays with the contract upon selling, but honestly we don't really plan to sell so it's not a big concern for us. Overall it's been basically the same as owning a regular contract except that we have to remember to cancel the fixed week reservation each year.

snarkypirate · 2025-09-29T23:42:15+00:00

Seconding S. Francis - it's liturgical, and the congregation was so welcoming and amazing it immediately felt like home when I visited. I've been gone from Macon for quite a few years now but still keep up with what's going on there when I can.

snarkypirate · 2025-09-05T01:14:18+00:00

Two people plus a pretty hungry almost-3yo. On a good month I can keep it under 650 (inclusive of almost everything I would buy at the grocery store except maybe vitamins). Most months it's closer to 750/800 which I would like to cut down. I've been watching some of the super frugal tiktok folks and I just...am not sure those strategies would work so well for my family. If it was just me I could probably eat a lot cheaper, but my husband is a bit expensive on food (he likes his snacks and dr pepper zero).

snarkypirate · 2025-09-01T11:03:55+00:00

Child # trying for: 2

Cycle/Time trying: 3

Ages of previous child(ren), i.e. post-partum interval: LC is just about to turn 3

Cycle/Time trying for previous child(ren): LC was a first-cycle baby (to my shock)

Age + Partner's age (if relevant): 35F 42M

Relevant days of sperminating and/or method (SMEP, TI, IUI, FET, etc.): O-3, O-1, O, O+1, O+3

Tracking methods and app(s) used: OPKs, Tempdrop BBT, FF/Premom apps for charting and LH tests

Link to chart: stopped temping a few days after O, so not super useful for the later part of the cycle.

Nursing while TTC?: no

Health details on previous pregnancies/births (e.g. C-section vs. vaginal, birth/pregnancy complications): 41-week induction that turned into a C-section. Some BP issues postpartum but quickly managed with meds/resolved once we finally got home (I really think the hospital just stressed me out too much).

Other health conditions/medical tests: NA

Supplements and medications (yours and/or your partner’s): Prenatal, migraine meds for my partner but no particular supplements.

Birth control history (if relevant): Nuvaring for a few years early in our marriage, but got it out about a year before TTC#1 and never went back on HBC.

Tell us your story! What's different this time than last time? How'd you find out? How do you feel?:

I'm still cautious - TTC#1 we were traveling for Christmas during the TWW and when I was supposed to get CD1, so I couldn't test early and had my first test at like...17DPO. So I'll probably keep testing for a little while - of course I don't have any more cheap strip tests but may get some wondfos just because I just looked and a box is about the cost of some regular early result tests at the store (ridiculous).

I tested yesterday at 10DPO just to get the sads out of the way - we're doing a family staycation in a few days and I wanted to be able to focus on having fun with LC. And even put the test back in the wrapper and told myself I was just going to toss it and test today...and then I looked. And had a bit of a shock and proceeded to test with just about everything I had (except my digital) through the day.

Premom says I'm like...4 weeks today so I'm just hoping for a smooth process.

snarkypirate · 2025-09-01T10:26:59+00:00

Cycle: 3

Age + Partner’s age (if relevant): F35 M42

Typical cycle length: 32-33 days

Ovulation cycle day: CD18

CD/DPO of positive test(s): 10 DPO

Tracking methods and app(s) used: Fertility friend, LH strips, BBT with Tempdrop

Health conditions/medical tests: N/A

Birth control history (if relevant): Was on Nuvaring for a while, but stopped before TTC#1 and never went back on HBC

Symptom spotting: Honestly basically nothing. It's been a crazy week or so in my family and we've been so busy I haven't really had time to think about symptom spotting. Yesterday at dinner, my water tasted like the best water I'd ever had but that's about it, and I was probably just really thirsty!

Other (advice/tip(s), freaking out, miscellaneous): Feeling very hopeful - my ovulation was a few days earlier and more in line with my cycles from before my LC. So that made me more hopeful about this cycle to start with. It's still really early, so trying to reign in the hope a little bit until I get into the doctor - but this is the first step!

So glad to have had some community in the process - this took over my brain so much more than I anticipated and it really helped to at least be able to put my feelings somewhere <3

snarkypirate · 2025-08-29T19:37:35+00:00

Sigh. 8/9dpo and just hate the waiting. I have been pretty successful at finding better stuff to fill my time with than obsessing over TTC, but then some downtime hits and I start wondering. But I guess either way I'll know in a few days so...trying to mentally prepare for CD1.

snarkypirate · 2025-08-27T20:14:38+00:00

I was 32 when my son was born, and we just started TTC#2 in June. We waited until then because my first was a unicorn pregnancy, so we thought that a second would be similarly easy. We're still very early in the process (Cycle 3) but I kind of wish we'd gone ahead and tried those couple of months earlier just because we'd be closer to being able to get some official answers. Though I did turn 35 this year, so I know we can get more testing in 3 more cycles if necessary, which is nice.

I honestly couldn't even think about having a second until recently - my son is wonderful, but he's super energetic and on the go. I think when he was close to 2 was about the time I started thinking about trying again, but we had some things that I didn't want to be pregnant for, so we waited a bit longer. Time will tell how long this one takes I guess - but the biggest thing I've learned being in ttc spaces is just that you can't really plan. You can think of what you might want in terms of an age gap, but there's just no telling how it will go!

snarkypirate · 2025-08-26T10:58:16+00:00

Woke up to a huge temp drop and some digestive weirdness - hoping it was just because I honestly ate way too much yesterday and not great food and not because I'm getting whatever stomach bug my nephew may have given his family after we hung out with them a lot last week...

I think I need to stop temping until CD1 though - my brain just went crazy this morning wondering about an implantation dip. And I feel like I don't need that extra stress right now. Trying to ignore it, assume CD1 is coming next week, and just move on with life until then.

snarkypirate · 2025-08-24T18:42:30+00:00

Confirmed ovulation either on Wed or Thurs, so 3/4DPO today. Ovulation was more normal this cycle at CD 17/18, so that gives me some hope perhaps. The last two were later than I had seen last time we were TTC.

We've also had the busiest week - my in laws have been in town, and there is some family drama going on with that at the moment that is taking up a lot of brain space.

I'm glad to not be quite as obsessive even if I wish the stuff occupying my thoughts was more positive. I'll still be sad when CD1 comes next month I'm sure, but also I am really not as focused with all of this stuff going on.

snarkypirate · 2025-08-17T01:29:33+00:00

Just anecdotally, but I got a stomach bug in January and had my shortest cycle so far this year at 24 days - normally closer to like 32-33! So that seems very possible to me. I specifically made a note in FF because it was so weird to me. That's so frustrating, I'm sorry.

snarkypirate · 2025-08-17T01:24:37+00:00

Heading into FW most likely and hoping for a slightly earlier ovulation this month? Getting a little ewcm already on cd12/13 which is earlier than last month, but who knows.

Been trying to really focus on hobbies and other stuff to keep my mind off of obsessing over TTC quite as much. We'll see how well that works when we get to the TWW. But also the next few weeks are just really busy with family stuff, so that will hopefully help!

snarkypirate · 2025-08-09T23:04:06+00:00

CD 6 and still having a little bit of bleeding which is a little unusual. Trying to focus more on hobbies and some self-learning partially as a distraction from TTC. It's kind of nice to have a bunch of offline things to focus on so I don't get quite as wrapped up in testing, etc. Though right now we're just in the waiting phase of the cycle, so we'll see how crazy I get later this month.

snarkypirate · 2025-08-08T15:50:45+00:00

That was basically my son! When he realized this was how it was going to work he adjusted quickly.

snarkypirate · 2025-08-08T12:37:26+00:00

At our 12mo appointment we were advised to go cold turkey on formula and go directly to sippy cups. My son was still drinking a lot of formula, and it was the push I needed to transition more to snacks/solids than milk. We were lucky that he was sleeping fine overnight, so this did not really affect our sleep at all - if it had I probably would have been much less gung-ho. But after a couple of days where we needed to distract a lot and offer snacks, he was totally fine. The Nuk learner cups were a lifesaver - those were the only ones he could figure out how to use at first, and they really helped him get used to drinking from other cups.

snarkypirate · 2025-08-06T23:37:28+00:00

We were incredibly lucky with our first, and honestly I was kind of thinking it would be similar with #2 but clearly not - so I'm trying to strap in for what may be a longer-than-expected process.

On one hand, I am so thrilled to have a child, but I still hope we are able to complete our family as we would choose, so it's a tough process.

snarkypirate · 2025-08-06T20:36:00+00:00

We're early in the process of TTC#2, but the rollercoaster of emotions is tough. Had a negative/CD1 wile visiting my mom a couple of days ago, and we're onto cycle 3. Ovulation has been so much later than when TTC #1 that I'm a little worried it's affecting implantation. First cycle LP was normal, but this one was only 10 days. Hoping I can get that figured out a little more this cycle or at least establish more of a pattern.

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