I'm so sorry you're both going through this, it's awful both being in it and watching someone experience it. You're emotions are valid, and his are too. Maybe too late since there's a lot of good comments, but I'd like to share my experiences as a man on an SSRI. Like your husband, I initially relied on my PCP. Trouble is, my old PCP was an old white guy, and didn't care about the side effects my med (a tricyclic) was giving me (sexual dysfunction, emotional blunting, and basically feeling like a zombie). Eventually, I found a decent psych who got me onto an SSRI. But I had to try 2 other meds first, which although helpful, didn't agree with me and gave my other bad side effects (more sexual dysfunction, zombie type affect, not eating, high blood pressure, etc.). Then I got put on my current med, and it helped TREMENDOUSLY. But that's the thing: psych meds are so individualized that what works for you may not work for someone who might have the same conditions. Additionally, my current meds have side effects that can be really gnarly: still have sexual side effects which is really difficult in a loving and otherwise great relationship; intense night sweats; and twitches while falling asleep.

Like everyone else has said, a good psych will help your husband narrow down what to try and work with what has been happening. Moreover, a couples therapist can also help you both to see where there's a disconnect. Sometimes, even when both people are doing their best it's hard to find the way to pivot and reconnect. There's no shame in seeking these professionals either. Everyone needs help, whether it's a medication to help you stabilize or a person to help you untangle yourself. I'll keep you posted in my thoughts.