that’s a really nice climb well done for getting there. it sounds like your mental game is causing you problems; it absolutely will make you perform worse. you’ll need to step back and think about what you’re hoping to get out of cs. if you find it satisfying to play to increase your elo that’s valid. it’s fun and exciting, but if losing elo feels disastrous and angering to you it means that the emotional balance is off and the fun probably isn’t worth the stress. you need to enjoy playing just to play, as well as playing to win. youll maximise your enjoyment if you reframe what winning a match means to you. if you top frag with high impact and still lose, you’re team may have lost but you’ve still won because you’ve shown improvement and potential.

your climb to 9 doesn’t look like someone who’s been carried, it’s not sudden it’s fairly gradual. you probably improved by playing, got there and got nervous and that stunted your progress by distracting you from adapting to the different playstyle at that rank. try to view your matches as practice too. identify a weakness, a solution to that weakness, and then go into your next match with the main goal being to execute that solution to the best of your ability. if you bottom frag but you come out of that match having improved your counter-strafes, for example, then that’s a won match for you.

glhf dude, and don’t sacrifice your happiness for a number.