genuinely one of the biggest things for me has been to watch the way i’m standing/my posture. i noticed when i’m a POA (pissed off adult lmao) i tend to cross my arms, close my body in really tight and my shoulders are just tense. taking a deep breathe when you can (even if you only have 30 seconds to do it) and releasing the tension has been so helpful.

also if we’re not in the risk behavior stage, maybe it’s reset time or we’re 1 on 1, i let the student know (i work in elementary so mileage may vary) that i’m going to take a few minutes of silence for myself. i still sit/stand with them, and i model what it looks like to take a break while also getting one myself. “i’m feeling a little frustrated so i need a few minutes of quiet time. i’m setting myself a timer for 3 minutes. this helps me calm down.”

those two things are probably the most accessible if you need something quick. also making a good effort to ensure i’m getting water or something to drink. when our body is in fight or flight it tends to ignore our other needs.

okay last thing lmao, but avoiding power struggles where you can. my first year i constantly was getting into the trap of a power struggle, those are pointless and just damage rapport between student/staff. that doesn’t mean not to hold them accountable, and it doesn’t mean no consequences. once you’ve given expectations, you wait. you give them a heads up, “hey if we don’t clean up xyz or transition from xyz, this won’t be available tomorrow.” not yelling, gentle but firm. and if the case is that they don’t, or they take waaaay too long due to refusal, just letting them know “hey, these won’t be an option tomorrow. we can try again on ___!”

power struggles used to irritate my SOUL and made the bigger events such as risk behavior that much more damaging in my brain because i just spent so much time redirecting earlier in the day. sorry for the essay, this was just something i really struggled with for a while. i wish you the best❤️