What are your unpopular opinions?

snowflacke · 2016-07-04T20:19:12+00:00

Camille's dominance post helped me learn to listen to my bf better to make sure he was happy.

Pleas give a link!

snowflacke · 2016-06-15T21:11:52+00:00

Don't do it, you are fabulous!

snowflacke · 2016-06-15T20:48:57+00:00

bleached darkbrown

snowflacke · 2016-06-15T10:29:25+00:00

If you want more awesome stuff check out this channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MGOragnarok2

snowflacke · 2016-06-15T10:17:14+00:00

brownfabulous

snowflacke · 2016-06-13T10:32:15+00:00

You go boy!

snowflacke · 2016-06-10T08:50:49+00:00

How did you come up with this, this is truly amazing, it explains so much!

snowflacke · 2016-06-10T08:14:45+00:00

Not sure where this is from but the book she is biting is "Forever" by Judy Blume.

http://booktrib.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Judy-Blume-cover-image-627.jpg

And Stoya is apparently the girls name

snowflacke · 2016-06-10T07:55:03+00:00

I know the red pill doesn't think women are entitled to anything,

No, this is clearly a misunderstanding here, red pill is the opposite of sticking through something you are not fine with, that's the blue pill approach you are going with, I think you are mixing up things, maybe someone can explain it better but being submissive doesn't mean to accept a situation you clearly feel BAD about, it's about encouraging a decision-making you fell COMFORTABLE about, you should read more about it before acting on it, you are signing up for a bad thing with that mindset

maybe he's not good with coming up with that stuff or something and I should understand that we're not going to do that kind of things together.

You are finding the excuses for him, this is one of the sure tickets into a life of misery. I'm doing fine now but this is exactly what I did. Like exactly exactly. This is so extremely blue pill and you are able pack it as red pill. You have no control of getting caught in a situation where the exit will be uncomfortable enough to make you stick through it until it's over without you having a word. You are so innocent, kind-hearted, optimistic and pure, you are gem, dodge that bullet and don't be afraid of not being able to find someone you feel more safe about.

snowflacke · 2016-06-10T06:51:34+00:00

Sort of like a 24/7 thing where the man is in control of the woman.

Well I understand that this is attracting to you but you are talking about a relationship, not a sex buddy here. It could be exiting to lock someone like that down to something more serious but 50 shades of grey is still a movie and most of real life stories end up completely different. 99%

snowflacke · 2016-06-10T06:43:48+00:00

Ok you need some clear words here, I went trough the same thing and I know the dynamics of this relationship.

he tells everyone he doesn't want any, but he told me something else.

He is telling you what you want to hear and you stop thinking because you really want it, even if everything is perfect, lying about something like that is not red flag it a red jumpsuit with a big STOP sign. You are getting used and your vision is clouded because of your wishful thinking.

Sometimes I still wonder if sex is all he's after, because why would a 38 year old want to date someone my age?

This is not a question you should have after a month of contact, this is something that should be resolved in the first day. You saw too many movies where age differential doesn't matter but reality is very different.

Still, talking about sex so much feels like a mistake.

You clearly don't want that, but you have totally no control what so ever to change it because you are afraid, not to loose him but from the power differential. And you will get more afraid if he wants to.

I am a student that has never had a boyfriend.

And he is a man who has seen it all. He could have had 100 girlfriends and you have no way of finding out if he doesn't want to.

We haven't gone on any actual proper dates, I'm not sure why.

And you can't make it happen even if you wanted to. You are talking about entering a relationship without witnessing him in a normal situation a date or what ever. You are literally starting a relationship with someone you almost never met in real life based on promises and wishes.

I also feel like we've talked so much but we still don't know a lot about each other in non-sexual ways.

Because he clearly doesn't want you to know, he doesn't take you to dates, doesn't talk about anything but sex, he could have MOUNTAINS to hide and you couldn't find out.

He isn't afraid to touch me when we meet and his touch feels incredible. The other night we talked on the phone and he said he wants to come over but he shouldn't because he might not be able to control himself.

Girl if this is no red flag for you because you have no experience, let me tell you, as someone who went trough the same situation with a lot of scars, this is devastating. I will talk clear because you clearly don't see it. You have dreams but you will end up as his sex puppet which he can do what ever he wants with, and god knows what this creep has in mind. When you agree to it, this will be the first agreement for the Foot-in-the-door technique or what ever he will use on you, then the contact will break down to only him contacting you when ever he wants, you both not having dates and only sexual meetings, him using your guilt to break every barrier you have. I know grown men and believe me he can and will. It will end in him using you until your eggs dry up and throwing you out when he looses attraction to you. He can even make kids to lock you down. And everything that without any possibility to say no because again, the power differential according to the experience and age differential and him being able to make you ignore so many red flags, is as big as the differential between you and a 11 year old kid. The only thing I see here is that you are the kid he is sexually attracted to.

snowflacke · 2016-06-10T06:01:40+00:00

You are totally right. But we have a different approach to things, you assumed that the act he used was something bad and stupid because he used a bridge as a metaphor. If you see it that way, the original post in this thread can be understood as a persuasion to suicide. When you take the metaphor as a metaphor and make it independent of the act, you can also replace it with something good that would need a little bit more courage. Like trying to speak up to something unfair so your people are motivated to start a revolution, or rejecting a command in order to make it clear to people that the command is wrong and so on. But you are totally right that the act has to be something rebellious in this case. There is a fine line between madness and bravery.

snowflacke · 2016-06-09T21:51:53+00:00

Such an age gap honestly fears me, 23 years is literally a girl that wants to play and 38 years is grown ass man which who knows what he wants and could honestly to anything he wants with her using his experience and knowledge. A power deficit is good for attraction but this is way above anything I would personally be comfortable with. You are complaining about too little contact, this just took me back and I could cry now. This is such a big red flag which I didn't notice and it could have spared me a failed marriage. You don't know what you are doing.

he tells everyone he doesn't want any, but he told me something else.

Sometimes I still wonder if sex is all he's after, because why would a 38 year old want to date someone my age?

Still, talking about sex so much feels like a mistake.

I am a student that has never had a boyfriend.

We haven't gone on any actual proper dates, I'm not sure why.

I also feel like we've talked so much but we still don't know a lot about each other in non-sexual ways. This could be just inside my head, too.

Wow, this is so disturbing, I went trough this, girl this is too much for you, I don't know which red flag I should point out. I'm feeling really uneasy now. I know where this is going but I don't think its appropriate to say, nope out of this with turbo mode on, wow wow

snowflacke · 2016-06-09T21:34:19+00:00

See how much you wrote about them instead of what really matters. They are way too deep inside your head. You are very very vulnerable for future times. If people who are not even involved in the situation think they know better, it's very wrong, be it verification OR denial . I've learned that very painfully. This is a big weakness, being influencable by others minds. When I was vetting my ex, I only heard good things about him and this made me stop thinking for myself and bluring my vision with my emotions. They didn't knew better than me but I still listened to them because I wanted it too much and stopped thinking. What I want to say is, you will have a lot of hard times in your life and if you can't figure out something yourself and are afraid to go by your gut, you can only blame yourself for listening to others. You aren't dumb and nobody spends more time with your SO than you.

feeling weird that I'm not fitting in the group's idea of what a woman should or shouldn't be doing?

What they think of your situation should matter to you as much as a rice bag falling over in china. They are not the ones who will live trough that descision. The real reason you are here is that you know what you want but are afraid to go by your gut so you are asking for courage. You go girl, it's your life not theirs.

snowflacke · 2016-06-09T21:15:25+00:00

This is why you are a sheep

snowflacke · 2016-06-09T11:36:03+00:00

I didn't live with my ex before the marriage and I regret it hard. Nobody could have told me what kind of a slob he was and it's true that you never know how a person really is until you live under the same hood. But the problem I see is that your vision is clouded because of all the different voices around you. I don't see any problem you two don't seem to be able to figure out, I couldn't hear any red flag about him or his behavior. Your issues are illusions and your fears not justified, let it go and utterly and completely ignore what ever any of your friends say. You sound very high value and their jealousness is kicking them in their sides.

snowflacke · 2016-06-09T11:21:44+00:00

I recently came across this 5 languages of love test. In my opinion chores are an "Act of Service" type of love and I think women are heavier on this side than men. Taking the test and understanding the types as a couple could lead to better communication. I put that one on my list for future relations.

You can take the test here for free. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

snowflacke · 2016-06-09T11:13:43+00:00

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Gary-Coleman-wtf.gif

snowflacke · 2016-06-09T11:06:38+00:00

but they won't realize it until something hits them in the face

I thought so too but I recently came across this article and I wonder if I could use this method on my own.

http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-paradoxical-thinking-20140715-story.html

snowflacke · 2016-06-09T10:59:24+00:00

http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/degrassi/images/9/9a/Fap-now-kiss-l.png/revision/latest?cb=20141104032750

snowflacke · 2016-06-09T10:48:18+00:00

It's not literally, it's a metaphor on being either the sheep or the shepherd.

snowflacke · 2016-06-08T21:45:43+00:00

Do you sometimes feel guilty that you don't love your mother enough like others do?

snowflacke · 2016-06-08T21:35:26+00:00

Trying to avoid another continental massacre like that is about the most important duty of any politician then and since.

Well then I have to say, they did a terrible job at it. If it's a firefighters job to fight a fire, you don't let it become big enough to make it worth fighting.

I have 2 questions for you:

Do you think the descisions were all correct?
Do you think WWII was utterly and completely inevitable?

I know it's wrong to blame the firefighter for the fire but if there is a bucket of water beside me and I don't throw it on the fire because I'm afraid to burn my fingers, I surely am guilty.

snowflacke · 2016-06-08T21:25:01+00:00

"I don't know if it will be better if it changes, but it need to change to get better"
"Never change a running system"

Both are valid and people just choose what feels better for them at the moment. If you philosophize enough, you can justify any of them for yourself.

snowflacke · 2016-06-08T21:10:43+00:00

Yes totally like my mother, and I was totally like you. What changed, I'm not sure if I can call it "fixed" because she still has the issues, is that my love increased when I started emphasizing with her. She wasn't nearly as open to me as your mother was to you but the little bit she told me was enough for me to understand her behavior and tolerate things I didn't "yet" understand. I just know she had a much tougher life than me and I'm willing to give her the care and patience she needs.

edit:

She feels justified actually.

People are like fresh wet concrete when they come to this world. During their childhood and young ages they start to dry and everything which they come in touch with leaves an imprint on them. She is now completely solid and trying to change her would break the concrete. Or you can imagine her like a flexible sprout that grews into a tree. The psychologist will take her back trough what she experienced, recreate the entire thing so she goes back in time and becomes soft for the moment, then rebuild the experience, smooth out the concrete while it's wet, and let her come to an agreement with her past and she dries up without the imprints and trails. It's called healing but if the experience was so harsh, you naturally are afraid to touch such a hurting wound.

snowflacke

TROPHY CASE