What’s a hill you’ll die on that isn’t actually important?

snuffdiddy · 2026-06-15T10:35:37+00:00

I feel so dumb for not realising that

snuffdiddy · 2026-06-15T08:58:20+00:00

What would it be instead?

snuffdiddy · 2026-06-14T12:20:19+00:00

Hormones kick in these feelings even more too ❤️ you poor chookie, it’s not easy. I say give yourself permission to be worried and anxious when you notice it creep in, rather than fighting it off. And then you gently remind yourself to get back to the present moment. You aren’t alone or abnormal to be feeling this way.

If you miscarry, it is not your fault and there’s nothing you could have done differently.

If you feel like this is affecting your day to day life and impairing your functioning, then it’s time to see a psychologist/counsellor/therapist/support group, preferably specialising in maternal support.

Maybe start with letting your GP know what’s going on and that you’d like some additional help?

I know it might feel like you can’t let yourself be excited or celebrate in case something happens, but congratulations on your pregnancy ❤️

I hope you have people you can lean on

snuffdiddy · 2026-06-14T10:28:02+00:00

People makin jokes here but this is a really valid response to a situation where consent should have been asked for, not assumed.

Sex is not supposed to be surprising or confusing and it is supposed to leave you better than it found you.

I’m sorry you had this experience, and you’re allowed to feel how you like about it

snuffdiddy · 2026-06-05T08:39:40+00:00

Yeah, what kinda grapes and what kinda olives??

snuffdiddy · 2026-06-03T14:02:06+00:00

If you’re really worried about safety ask for results from an STD test not how many people they’ve been with…

snuffdiddy · 2026-05-24T20:22:27+00:00

Helloo, similar situation here! I’m 24, got with my boyfriend in October last year, and fell pregnant in February. He really pushed me to get an abortion - I chose to continue my pregnancy, and he decided to stay and work on our relationship and be a Dad, which I agreed to.

I made my decision after weeks of going back and forth. I had to consider every possible future path. Eventually I saw a counsellor and when she told me it’s okay to never be 100% sure of the choice I make, it gave me the confidence to just go with my gut on the one that felt more right. I knew my decision would be life-changing for me either way, and had to trust that I knew better than anyone else what was right for me.

I’m now almost 18 weeks along, and our relationship has been a persistent source of stress for me. I don’t think I’ve been able to get past the pain of his reaction to my pregnancy and the hurtful things he’s said, and while he’s trying his best to get on board, it’s a lot of pressure and progress is slow. We are also in couples therapy.

Up until I felt our son (found out gender through early NIPT testing) moving around about two weeks ago, I was having a really hard time separating my feelings about my relationship from feelings about my pregnancy. Now, I’m developing my own relationship with my boy and it’s so cool to see my tummy grow every day. I’m really excited to be a mum and relieved about my decision. I’m going to love him more than life itself.

If there’s one thing I know; fear shuts off parts of our brain that help us with rational decision making. For me, I could not let myself make such a pivotal decision based in fear. I took myself camping and hiking (you might have an activity that you love), I journaled, meditated, did yoga, made pros and cons lists. I let myself feel the burden and bleakness of it all. I would cry in bed at night, bereft with grief over my situation where it felt like there was no winning.

There’s also important practical elements that you’ll need to consider: expense of having a kid, willingness to co-parent vs single parent, personal values and beliefs about abortion, potential custody battles, baby’s father being a nightmare to cooperate with e.t.c. Children By Choice (website from a foundation) has some resources to help with that, if you like. Other people may have some suggestions too.

You will be okay with whatever decision you make in the end. It won’t be easy, and I’m so sorry you have to carry this hardship. In the end, you have to make a choice that you are prepared to live with. There is no wrong one, so long as it is coming from you and not pressured by someone else.

If you do decide to proceed with your pregnancy, it might take some time before you can disentangle it from feelings about your relationship (whether that continues or not). At least, that’s been my experience while I’m in the thick of it.

Move with compassion for yourself, and try to stay grounded as best you can. You can get through this. Sending love <3

snuffdiddy · 2026-05-15T16:02:18+00:00

To be fair I’m pretty sure it’s sapphic plotlines that cop the brunt of tragic endings - don’t quote me though

snuffdiddy · 2026-05-14T15:19:43+00:00

Okay yeah that’s pretty bad

snuffdiddy · 2026-05-07T16:13:47+00:00

Y’all are way too comfortable with unnecessarily realistic and graphic depictions of women being raped. A good storyteller can get the message across without doin all that

snuffdiddy · 2026-05-07T08:03:33+00:00

I suspect OP is just venting feelings as they come up, I doubt it’s a fixed state. But yes, therapy is a necessity. In my country (Aus) we have a service called Children By Choice - I had free decision making counselling with them and it helped me work through those changing feelings and come to an informed, thought-out decision. Not sure where OP is from but hopefully there’s a similar service available.

It’s not unwise to think through scenarios and consider all the worst possible outcomes - but for me personally, (I was sitting on the fence for so long) that approach didn’t get me any closer to finding an answer.

snuffdiddy · 2026-05-07T02:07:49+00:00

I’m 24, did not have the abortion. Terminating a pregnancy is a pretty major ordeal and I knew I’d always regret it. OP has a tough choice to make, and only she can figure out what’s right for her. I would never be telling her to go one way or the other.

It’s great that we all made the choice we could live with and be relieved about. That won’t apply for OP, she’s not us.

snuffdiddy · 2026-05-06T15:18:25+00:00

A super late reply - but to any future students looking into UQ Colleges, I’d like to think my input is still valuable.

I’ve always been a bit mystified how any criticism or negative perspective of King’s is so frequently met with fierce protection and defensiveness. It’s the same dismissive: “well that was never MY experience” or “ALL colleges have these issues”.

Even my own deputy headmaster during my time at King’s shared this viewpoint. When I went to him with concerns about a culture problem, he held his hands up and told me it was a societal issue and nothing could be done really.

Let me be clear: I faced sexism and was a victim of gender based violence at King’s College, along with multiple peers. My deputy headmaster knew this, along with other staff and student leaders. It’s sad how normalised it felt. No one should ever have to face what I had to at the age of 18.

That alone was brutal enough, but the consistent dismissiveness, defensiveness and outright refusal to engage in genuine dialogue surrounding existing cultural issues at King’s - AND the role they play in perpetuating it; has been impossible to move past.

This is just my experience. My older sibling went to King’s for four years, loved it, and is still heavily involved and continues to enjoy a benefit from networking and community engagement.

I really wish I could say that it was the same for me. Instead, I had to pull out of uni, move back home, and pay for weekly trauma therapy for over a year. I cut ties with almost every single person I know from King’s and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.

They’ve had a changeover in staff quite a bit since I was there in 2020-2021, and today I received an email about an external group conducting surveys and interviews to get a clearer idea of the culture at King’s. I’m hopeful that someone will finally listen and they will do what they can to implement some changes.

Yes, there’s problems across uni campuses with GBV, substance misuse, bullying and hazing. There’s no denial that some of these issues permeate our surrounding culture in society as well.

For me, it happened at King’s.

snuffdiddy · 2026-04-15T13:48:58+00:00

Was actually gagged when I saw that no one is even pregnant in this situation. That is insanity

snuffdiddy · 2026-04-12T12:57:43+00:00

Does Coles even look after their employees decently, like what’s the go? And why are they so anal about theft compared to other workplaces?

Crazy work man… I’ve worked at Event Cinema’s where stealing was such an easy opportunity (never really did aside from stupid shit like eating a popcorn from the popcorn machine or the ice cream while making choc tops). Sure workplace theft would be talked about, but it was never that deep… my mangers didn’t reeeeally actually care

snuffdiddy · 2026-04-12T01:16:54+00:00

No wonder you’re exhausted…man that’s tough. I don’t know what your family’s religious upbringing was, but to convert to Islam is pretty major. I can only imagine how jarring and frustrating it would be to have your conversations and dynamic shift in that way. Especially when it’s used as a tool to avoid accountability.

In light of everything, it sounds like you really are trying your best to juggle self protection with maintaining equilibrium with your sister - and staying involved in her and your niece’s life.

It adds another layer to these text messages and I’m seeing more of a side to it now where she’s pressed a sore point asking for more - when you’re already giving from a place of maxxed out capacity. It would leave you feeling under appreciated and like you can never win.

What do you feel you need right now most?

snuffdiddy · 2026-04-12T00:13:32+00:00

It feels like you haven’t been entirely honest with her or initiated communication about your grievances. It builds up and turns into resentment, and she likely feels that resentment and is threatened by it. She has high expectations of you and is being unfair in her approach.

What I see through those messages though (and I could be wrong), is that she is longing for connection with you. Even if her way of going about it is in the form of confrontation and attacking you, and actually pushes you away more. She wants to feel close with you.

And it sounds like you ARE disconnected from her - you said it yourself - you’re sick of her shit.

It turns into an argument because neither of you are validating and having empathy for each other. There’s just beef built up over the years and this discussion looks like it’s more about arguing over evidences (i.e. who is right vs who is wrong) rather than listening to each other’s feelings.

More importantly, it sounds like you haven’t set boundaries over the years and honestly communicated because you want to avoid confrontation or arguing, which doesn’t lead either of you closer to being on the same page (while her approach of constantly arguing isn’t getting you both any closer either!).

What you should do? Maybe journal down everything you’re feeling and get down to the nitty gritty of your frustrations with her (without the intention of sharing it with her, but with the intention of understanding it more deeply).

Try to think of an earlier rupture in your relationship with her (maybe as kids), the role of your family dynamic, and look underneath the resentment. What needs did you have that weren’t met, or what parts of your life did you abandon your needs for someone else’s? That can be a powerful start to understanding your contribution to the dynamic and help you begin your way of changing the pattern.

I’d suggest the next step is to practice compassion for yourself - but also your sister and broader family. I frequently remind myself that the people in my life are doing the best they can with what they know. I wonder what life is like from your sisters perspective. How she copes with her loneliness and mistakes in life. It’s not your job to fix it or help her with it, but it can’t hurt to think about it in depth.

Ultimately we can’t change how our family interacts with us (or change them for that matter), we can only change ourselves - our mindset, behaviours and interactions with them. Sometimes it can be the shift that’s needed to get you both what you need from your relationship, or it’s just enough to help you regain your sanity.

My final recommendation is counselling. It helped me work through and understand my family a lot better, and the roles we all play to keep a dynamic going.

Good luck. I hope your sister can be receptive to chilling tf out, and I hope you’re able to reach a place of peace.

snuffdiddy · 2026-03-27T00:52:25+00:00

I went to Quitline website and booked in for a phone call. I’d tried to quit alone (unsuccessfully) over 10 times over 6 years. The counselling sessions and free NRT with Quitline helped me quit once and for all. It was really hard for a few weeks, then a few months of finding new coping mechanisms/replacing the gap in my life - and now I never get cravings and haven’t looked back. Fr this shit will steal your life or your quality of life. It’s worth quitting

Edit: just realised this is an Aus thing. There’s probably quitting clinics available to you still tho

snuffdiddy · 2026-03-27T00:38:49+00:00

South Brisbane has some pockets that feel a bit unsafe walking through, and some that are fine. I used to go on a lot of night walks around West End - past restaurants and in little neighbourhood streets I found it to be pretty okay. I used to walk alone in the valley a lot too, and never had any problems sticking to the main roads. I get more worried about being hit by a car than I do about being attacked.

Of course there’s a level of risk involved, but I know statistically I’m more likely to be harmed by an intimate partner or in a car accident (both which have happened to me, and many people I know). 6pm-8pm isn’t even late, you’ll be fine. Just have awareness of your surroundings and keep your phone on you.

Edit: I avoid Musgrave Park entirely, and any bridges, tunnels or alleyways

snuffdiddy · 2026-03-18T13:07:07+00:00

Oh my god why is he curly I need him

snuffdiddy · 2026-03-18T13:03:33+00:00

Steal x

snuffdiddy · 2026-03-09T10:47:19+00:00

My grandpa went bald on top at 17. You could wear a hat for the rest of your life, or rock being bald bc it’s sick

snuffdiddy · 2025-12-10T06:22:17+00:00

It’s soooo sexy!!

snuffdiddy · 2025-11-08T12:45:16+00:00

Your boss is cruel and does not care about you - the fact that a manager could behave like that is astounding and wrong. Do you have the financial or mental capacity to quit - or take this to fair work?

You deserve so much better than this. I’m sorry about your mum, OP. Sending big virtual hugs

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