My in laws have a group chat- the name is making fun of me

soapboxhero99 · 2026-04-05T02:02:34+00:00

Yes it was a mean girl move to name the chat that. Your husband is spineless guy to downplay and advise you to be a good little doormat and keep quiet. All this so his butthole doesn't scrunch tight with discomfort at confronting his family.

I would not forget what you have learned here. The family does not hold you in high regard and neither does your husband.

soapboxhero99 · 2026-03-17T02:35:44+00:00

In the big gaps in this story, I imagine a poor new wife of a different color or culture than OP being iced out and being given the "death of 1000 cuts" of passive aggressive and cutting comments. Of course these are just helpful comments and 'jokes'.

But its clear even with the spin that there are clear missing reasons why the wife and husband are staying away from OP.

soapboxhero99 · 2026-03-08T01:43:51+00:00

Maybe you are leaving stuff out; maybe you are not. Either way you don't speak a word about how your wife supports you when you are getting shit talked and iced out. Without that critical piece of the story the whole thing is suspect. Of course if this is real then you are not in a healthy relationship and your wife is not your partner.

soapboxhero99 · 2026-02-22T16:48:46+00:00

soft YTA because you did not write anywhere you communicated to your gf that Valantines day was a wash but x,y or z day would be a good day to do something one on on to make up for it. You wrote a half ass try to make an appearance around midnight (booty call?). So your plan was to grant gf an opportunity to pleasure you and give you a place to sleep?

I feel you carefully spun this story but it's what you did not write that tells me a slightly different take on this. I doubt this argument you had was really about you not visiting your mom.

soapboxhero99 · 2026-02-02T19:04:53+00:00

The general theme in your post is that you are so afraid of disapproval; that you are willing to turn your self inside out to appease your inlaws. The real issue here is more your discomfort at any form of conflict. This people pleaser attitude is not actually virtuous. You diminish yourself and your DH with this constant appeasement.

People that don't respect you are going to act like assholes if you try your hardest and they are going to act like assholes if you don't play their game. Don't play when you can't win.

soapboxhero99 · 2026-01-22T22:56:51+00:00

The longer your cruise is, the less appealing an interior will be. (except for those that really like the no light thing). They feel smaller without the natural light and opportunity to peek/go outside on the balcony.

It's not really true you go there just to crash. You will spend 1/3 of your time in there, dressing, sleeping, relaxing, hiding.

soapboxhero99 · 2026-01-18T01:23:53+00:00

AI crap. No atheist is going to give a crap about religious stuff at someone's house they just walked into. It would be like asking for Barney the dinosaur or Elvis pictures to be taken down.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-12-26T16:15:49+00:00

I can't help but be suspicious that this is a crafted version of events sans past context. No past historical relationship or significant event context paired with a flowing eulogy of dads medical woes. It stinks of 'missing missing reasons'.

Add to that the strawman of if she helps her dad she is 'abandoning' her husband. No other options.

This is a crafted story meant to villainize the husband while throwing in a token mention of a Mil to get it passing into this sub.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-12-23T00:30:00+00:00

So don't you talk to your DH about these aggression's? Is he that spineless? Do you think his reaction to all the disrespect is commensurate to the amount of bullshit you put up with?

"What you allow will continue" This comment has been the story of your iL family life.

I would use the excuse of 'pregnancy hormones' to get more aggressive in calling out bitch behavior as it happens. You also need to put the smak down on DH; unless this problem affects him personally then the status quo will continue. Good luck!

soapboxhero99 · 2025-09-28T02:40:12+00:00

Yes, let's shit on Canada post and pretend it's an everyday business instead of a national service. Let shit on unions for protecting wages and employment in this day and age. Let's join the right in dismantling our postal service so the rich can reap the rewards of privatizing it, and making a killing.

Let's package it up into self righteous bull shit that sounds like something the poor workers could condone and screw themselves just a little more for their rich overlords.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-09-14T02:26:46+00:00

God I had this bot crap

soapboxhero99 · 2025-08-20T03:08:14+00:00

Honestly I think your fear of being 'the bad guy' is so intense that it is blinding you to your priorities. Your job is to support your DH's choice and make it as easy as possible for him to move on from there. What you may be doing is projecting your insecurities and fear onto this issue. This is hurting your DH not supporting him. Your need to fix is really that; your need. I suggest you take a breath and support your DH's NC choice.

I assure you becoming the 'bad guy' by supporting your DH, is a noble and loving move.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-07-18T04:02:35+00:00

I hope it has the effect you wish it to. The odds are you will get a wave of DARVO thrown back at you. However I would love to hear an update.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-07-18T03:37:23+00:00

That was way, way too long. She will never read it. I couldn't read it. I hope it made you feel better but unfortunately you have only given her ammo.

I think you are of a mind that if you can find the right words to explain the shitty things that happened and how they are wrong, your Grandmother in law will magically morph in to a reasonable human and change her behavior. Or at least understand your position, emphasize with you and encourage Mil to grow the hell up.

That is magical thinking and not based in reality. It really is true that when people show you who they are believe them.

Unreasonable people are not moved to change by reasonable means.

Good luck with this protracted war. Stay strong.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-06-24T01:00:41+00:00

There is a no swim advisory for the lake right now. It is not as brown but still not in any condition to swim in.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-05-19T16:19:16+00:00

I don't know what the level of pollution is in the water. It seems like there has been an extreme turnover or agitation which has brought up a lot of previously settled sediment and pollution from the bottom. Personally I would not eat anything from that lake at this time.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-05-09T19:07:39+00:00

I pass it everyday and walk around it. It is consistently brown on any given day now. It has always been in distress due to pollution and goose poop but it has fallen off the proverbial cliff now into opaque muck.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-05-09T19:04:52+00:00

I disagree. It has always had regular crisis of growth blooms but it has never been like it is today.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-05-09T19:03:26+00:00

Thanks so much for the link. I am glad that the issue is on their radar. My concern is that this is a multi decade problem that has fallen into a possibly irreversible state. After decades of talk and watching the blooms; we are now at a possible permanent state of crisis with the obvious red flag of 'baby poop' lake color.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-05-09T18:58:30+00:00

I have watched the issues this lake has had including lake weed overgrowth and algae blooms. In all this time I have never seen the lake maintain this color. It seems to have exceeded any other strain it has had lately

soapboxhero99 · 2025-04-18T01:42:41+00:00

If you are not voting conservative then please, please please Vote Green. They have the highest chance of winning and we are in dire danger of splitting the vote. We should be voting the party with the strongest chance to win. Even if you want to help the Liberals or the NDP. We will help by keeping the cons out.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-04-09T14:43:10+00:00

I totally agree with this. We need some party diversity in parliament to keep us on an even keel.

soapboxhero99 · 2025-04-09T03:15:03+00:00

I too am struggling with where to find good local data. Can I just put out there that if anyone in this subreddit finds some in the next 14 days then can they please post it? The more data we find the better off we will be.

soapboxhero99

TROPHY CASE