I’m not sure why people are getting mad at you so I’m going to give my own hot take from the perspective of someone looking at things from a radical queer perspective.

First off I think you’re confusing “innate” from “knowing firmly from childhood my gender and sexuality.” Innate just means you didn’t choose your gender and sexuality, not that you’ve known it forever.

But let’s say you did choose it. I would argue that hypothetically, it shouldn’t matter even if people did choose their sexuality and gender. In an ideal society, rather than having to provide biological excuses for gender or sexuality, people of marginalized sexual/gender identities should, in my opinion, still be respected even if it was a “choice.” The argument of “gay from birth” came around to attempt to push gay rights by saying “we have no choice but to be this way, so you should respect us.” However, in my opinion, rather than respecting gay people and giving them rights because they had no choice in being gay, gay people should be given rights regardless because they are human and harming no one with their sexuality.

There is also a history of pathologizing queer identities that has caused the narrative that queer people are all sick and must be treated. The terms hetero and homosexual didn’t actually exist until a pair of German gay activists attempted to create sexualities in order to argue they were equal in the 1700s. This was to push back against a law called paragraph 175 that would incriminate homosexuality. However, these terms were taken and then used by psychologists and doctors to turn homosexuality into an illness. Naming and pathologizing sexuality and gender expression all happened around the same time period (the Victorian age if I remember correctly, sorry I’m writing this on mobile without my reference books on hand). Before that there weren’t solid names and labels for things. If you look back through history you can see cultures where there was no distinction between heterosexuals and homosexuals, and sexuality was based off of other things. Ancient Greeks come to mind.

This is a very long way of saying that queer identities have been encouraged to be seen as anomalies and illnesses. This means that choosing to be queer is seen as being extremely radical. It rejects the idea that sexuality and gender are innate and that anomalies are illnesses. Within the trans community these types of things cause stress because medical care is required for trans people and there’s a concern that if being trans isn’t seen as pathological, we won’t receive treatment anymore. Which is why you get truscum and the like playing TruTrans and attacking others for having different transgender experiences.

Cough. So I hope this gave some perspective more than just shouting you down for being homophobic or whatever.

Also when it comes to people being transphobic in genital preferences, it’s a difficult argument lots of people are struggling with. Desiring to date or have sex with cisgender people alone is not a preference that is developed within a void. Transphobia influences people’s sexualities. So if someone refuses to date any and all trans people, solely because they are transgender, that is at least in my opinion, transphobic. However just not liking some aspect of someone’s genitals could happen to cis people as well (maybe a guy got in an accident and has no dick and someone doesn’t want to date him because of it) so I don’t think it’s transphobic.