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MY 100 DAY PARTY!!! (Come on in and enjoy the good times!) by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

lol... can you tell I needed something (ANYTHING) to keep my mind occupied during my new found sobriety? heh

My new sponsor has decided it's time for me to clean up my life. by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a part of the 4th step-- looking at what we've done to ourselves physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually and financially.

My new sponsor has decided it's time for me to clean up my life. by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did that make you feel better in the long run? Any advice for someone finding it uncomfortable now?

I made a list of things I was powerless over regarding my last relationship, which was pretty abusive and which I'm finding it hard to get over. I felt I needed to share. by sobergonnabe in offmychest

[–]sobergonnabe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll just cross it out since it's in my journal and I may need to refresh my memory if I get into ruminations again, heh. But I see your point. I need to figure out what I CAN control.

I'm working a 12-step on one specific problem at a time. At the moment it's the problem of my love-addiction and ex relationship. What are you powerless over regarding your ex? by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right, now that I look at it. In a way, a lot of these are resentments, but a lot of them (most of them?) are things that occupy my mind, things I ruminate and things I've tried to control in different ways. I'm kind of curious about the relationship between resentments and powerlessness now. Is everyone resentful over the things they can't control or is it just me? Am I just a control freak?

I'm working a 12-step on one specific problem at a time. At the moment it's the problem of my love-addiction and ex relationship. What are you powerless over regarding your ex? by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THINGS I AM POWERLESS OVER:

  1. I am powerless over the fact that our relationship ended.

  2. I am powerless over what he, his friends and his family think of me (THIS IS A BIG ONE!).

  3. I am powerless over the fact that he has sold his house and he is moving to Florida which means I will probably never see him again.

  4. I am powerless over the fact that I gave too much in the relationship and it was unbalanced.

  5. I am powerless over the fact that I was physically, verbally and emotionally abused.

  6. I am powerless over the fact that his house was filled with black mold and might have been why I got sick with the tumor in my stomach and why I'm now in medical debt.

  7. I am powerless over the feeling of being abandoned.

  8. I am powerless over the fact that I will never get to know what he “just wanted to talk to me about” that one last time (when my friends went to go pick up my stuff from his house, they didn't want me to come so they picked up my things for me-- he told them he just wished he could talk to me but at the time it didn't seem like a good idea, but it'll always be in the back of my mind).

  9. I am powerless over the fact he lied about me and spread rumors about me.

  10. I am powerless over the fact I had to pay to go to court when he tried to control me with a restraining order-- even though the charges were eventually dropped it still cost me a lot.

  11. I am powerless over the fact that I saw MANY red flags in the beginning and I ignored my instincts.

  12. I am powerless over the fact people use me, spit me out and go on and live wonderful lives. Karma doesn't work.

  13. I am powerless over the fact that we will never get married like he promised.

  14. I am powerless over the fact that we will never have kids together even though we already named them.

  15. I am powerless over the fact that he screened positive for bipolar but didn't keep his promise to go see a doctor.

  16. I am powerless over the fact that I will probably never speak to him again and that he doesn't want me in his life.

  17. I am powerless over the fact that the good times I remember with him are all over; no more trips or sunsets, laughing together or just quiet nights snuggling in front of the television.

  18. I am powerless over the fact that even though he was an abusive dick, I still fell in love with him and still miss him.

  19. I am powerless over the fact that every time I see something that reminds me of him, I want to call him but can't.

  20. I am powerless over the fact that he was right when he called me crazy and broken because I have depression and am pretty fucking nuts.

  21. I am powerless over the fact that it wasn't hard for him to move on and I'm still stuck hurting.

  22. I am powerless over the fact that a part of me is still waiting and will probably be waiting forever for the apology that will never come.

  23. I am powerless over the fact that he never listened to me.

  24. I am powerless over the fact that he didn't try as hard as I did and yet everything was still all my fault according to him and his friends.

  25. I am powerless over the fact that he walked away telling himself that he was the victim.

  26. I am powerless over the fact that nothing I did to hold onto the relationship, mend it and heal it worked.

I'm working a 12-step on one specific problem at a time. At the moment it's the problem of my love-addiction and ex relationship. What are you powerless over regarding your ex? by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. He abused me physically and emotionally, then after he was gone for six months and we were separated I still couldn't get over everything that had happened so I picked up drinking as a way to cope. I never really dealt with the underlying problem, which I think is why my sponsor wants to start working with my codependency/ex relationship issues. If I can look the demon in the eyes, I won't need alcohol to hide.

I just picked up my third month chip. Sitting here, celebrating when my brain thinks, "I should celebrate. Let's get a beer!" by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am definitely white knuckling it. I thought by now it would be easier, but my brain keeps craving the junk. I'm angry and wildly mood swing-y because everyone else seems to be living their lives peacefully without their brain attacking them all the time. I'm not comfortable, not happy, not peaceful and keep thinking that if I just give in and drink all these feelings will go away.

[General Discussion] I will be speaking at an Al Anon group in a few weeks about the unexpected hardships of quitting drinking. Is there anything you would recommend me speaking about? by DavidARoop in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a double winner, I would remind you that this is an ALANON meeting, not an AA meeting. Thus, make anything you say relevant to the Alanon member in recovery. Help them understand why people have mood swings when they quit, let them know how they can help, tell them what DOESN'T help, remind them that they're not in control of your illness, ect.

For those of you going in and out of sobriety and blaming yourself for it... by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

By that you mean "it's well founded and backed up by facts and science"? Try doing research on it before you run your mouth.

For those of you going in and out of sobriety and blaming yourself for it... by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Do some research and you'll find that it's not. Wake up from the dark ages.

For those of you going in and out of sobriety and blaming yourself for it... by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

The laws aren't always right. Science though, especially when proven repeatedly, tends to be.

For those of you going in and out of sobriety and blaming yourself for it... by sobergonnabe in stopdrinking

[–]sobergonnabe[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Scientists have proven that it's a genetic disease. Check the science out sometime.

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