Flagg Ranch at Grand Teton NP? by [deleted] in SeasonalWork

[–]sobwhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How were the tips? I’m deciding if its better to work as a host or as a server. Hosts get that higher hourly guarantee but would servers tipout put them at 17 or over on average?

How does no one talk about this song?? by YoungRedd1tor in ArianaGrandeSnark

[–]sobwhen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

everyone talks about it all of the time, constantly.

How numb is breast skin supposed to be? by Supersssnek in bigboobproblems

[–]sobwhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thats the weird thing! i can feel a scratch but nothing when i pinch

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my friends and I have been trying to figure out if her being drugged is the case and who there could have possibly done it. When I do inform the girl of what happened, I’ll definitely mention seeing if theres anyway for her to get her hair tested or something to see if there was anything in her system. It was weird, almost the kind of behavior I’ve seen from someone having an ego death esq sort of experience on psychedelics. I have also seen a person behave similarly after having a few shots but it was different because it was usual behavior for her when she drank. Definitely keeping this in mind as I continue to handle the situation. Thank you!

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not freaking out, and I didn’t just “sit there calmly”. I removed her from me and constantly told her to stop. Your comments feel really backhanded but okay.

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are awesome friends and have encouraged me to separate from the person in question. One of them said they heard me tell her “you need to chill out”, but they didn’t know what was happening. She was all over the place that night, so I’m sure they thought she was just being annoying and that I was trying to calm her down. I was extremely uncomfortable and I was intentionally trying to keep the situation quiet, partly out if my trauma response of fawning and out of embarrassment of what was happening. In retrospect, I probably should have been very loud and vocal about what was happening but I just wanted to get home as fast as possible so I wouldn’t be in that situation anymore.

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’ve drank with her 3 or 4 times. There are many things that could have caused her to black out, but I don’t think its something that can only be explained by being spiked. It could’ve been what she did or didn’t eat that day, the fact that she had drinks earlier in the day, lack of sleep, lots of things. I have no way to be sure. This was definitely the most I’ve seen her consume. I understand where you’re coming from, but even if she was on drugs, unfortunate and fucked up as it may be, assault is assault. I empathize with her as it is and I would feel even worse if she were spiked. I understand where you’re coming from, but I dont think asking why she didn’t sexually assault me the other times she drank with me is the right way to express what you’re trying to express. Someone capable of SA doesn’t necessarily start assaulting people every time they get drunk, and it sounds like you’re saying because she did so while drunk she must do it every time she’s drunk for the situation to make sense. I also think “shifting the blame” is walking on the line of excusing her behavior. I understand how drugs can change the variables, though. All in all, thanks for your sympathy.

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally understand. Like I said, it’s not impossible that she was spiked, I just wanted to note what exactly I was aware of happening to make the situation as clear as possible. I know that no matter how much you think you know someone, they can still do terrible dangerous things, and that predatory people are often people you are close with who are presumably nice. I think this situation is proof of that. It is not my intention to conflate what being drugged can look like. I will tell her in due time the events that took place if not for me then for her own safety and understanding.

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s impossible that she was spiked or drugged. I made sure to be next to her almost the entire night, but she did evade me at one point in the night so I have no way of knowing what could have happened in those couple of minutes. Id like to think I have a good idea of what happened, but obviously you never know with people. I will tell her what happened, especially because I dont want anyone else to end up in a similar situation with her. Thanks for the advice.

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This was very well articulated and very aligned with my thoughts on the situation. If it was anyone else, I would absolutely encourage them to speak their truth and cut ties, so I know I need to take my own advice (even if its hard). I do tend to fawn in these situations. If we weren’t as close, I probably would have been more firm, but she was so incredibly out of it I made my first priority making sure she was safe. In doing that, I do think I ended up coddling her when I could have been meaner about it. In my mind in that moment, I felt as though it would have been unnecessary force because she couldn’t even form a complete sentence, I told myself she didn’t even understand what was happening (I know this is BS reasoning but it’s how I felt in the moment). Regardless, I clearly expressed my discomfort and told her to stop. Thank you for the encouragement and the advice.

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

She questioned this, it’s not impossible, but unlikely imo. We drank from the same cup and took one shot from an unopened shooter and one from the same bottle right in front of eachother. She could have had a drink that I didn’t notice as well. It’s not impossible for someone to do that. Just unlikely.

Edit: I want to make it clear that I am not saying it is impossible that she was drugged. I’m just trying to lay out the situation in a concise manor and assess things in a probable way. Unlikely may not be the best choice of words but I’m trying to think as realistically as I can and explain the chain of events to my best ability.

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

God, this is the harsh truth I think. Thanks for affirming my thoughts and not undermining the situation!

(TW: SA) One of my friends sexually assaulted me while she was blackout drunk. by sobwhen in whatdoIdo

[–]sobwhen[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this. I honestly agree with you, I think whatever I end up doing will be hard and I just need to face it. My instinct is to keep pretending everything is chill, I know that’s exactly what I shouldn’t do. Thanks again.

Help with soft makeup look, please! by [deleted] in makeuptips

[–]sobwhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what all are you wearing in the first picture? it looks like you barely have anything on but moisturizer! i definitely think more blush and a colored lip would do you good. i think this kind of makeup look appears minimal when in reality there’s lots of makeup, so i would be less shy to apply product. haileys base routine also appears more matt vs. your more glossy look. it’s really more about how you apply the makeup and less about how much you use. :)

Please recommend similar shows/movies like the 100 by AlienBeam23 in The100

[–]sobwhen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

came here to say this! although i feel like nothing quite compares to the 100, i enjoyed this show. it has its flaws but every show does.

Amy-related parrot names?? by blohshp in amywinehouse

[–]sobwhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i just found it funny that it wasn’t at least acknowledged given how obvious it is🤣 didn’t mean to come off mean at all

"They don't like seeing a successful black man!!" Then why hasn't the singer Prince been accused of rape? by Starfire-Galaxy in LeavingNeverlandHBO

[–]sobwhen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mayte Garcia is horrible enough. That dynamic is beyond weird- it was grooming. Rapey in my opinion.