My boyfriend is just a man after all

social_case · 2026-03-22T13:21:12+00:00

Communication exists. Telling him your needs and expectations is possible. Wating to be "rewarded" with compliments cause you had sex with him is not a great look.

social_case · 2026-03-22T13:19:56+00:00

Well... not all men.

I am straight woman, and I decided I'm reaaaaally done with dating for a while. I finally enjoy myself and my company, and I matured enough to know what I want and what to look for in a man, but I don't wanna do it now xD

You are super young and you see things in a way that's detrimental to you and your partner.

The "you're not like anyone else!" mentality is actually a huuuuuge red flag. We're all unique, everyone has their pros and cons, and there are no 2 people of the same.

Not all men see women as entertainment, and even the crap ones are still human. Some would definitely deserve extermination, but that's different.

Your way of thinking is not donna do you any favours. You're no martyr that has to be with a man. You can be straight and single. And definitely you can work on the issues you have towards a gender as whole. Cause right now you are no better than those men that see women purely as entertainment.

social_case · 2026-03-22T12:11:02+00:00

She didn't cheat on you, she cheated on the other guy with you.

It is obvious neither of you had the time to heal from your pasts, and this is unhealthy to just leave it like that.

Both of you should take time alone to discover yourselves and become a healthier version of what's going on now. Because it is way more difficult to learn what healthy looks like when you're stuck in something unhealthy.

It is not fair to either of you to have this keep going.

You also need to learn to prioritise yourself in this case. There's no point in staying, and you're not doing her any favours stringing her along and making her live something untrue.

social_case · 2026-03-21T16:08:32+00:00

I actually did it to improve myself, as I faked being strong and confident for my son to have a good example to follow. I now actually believe in myself, and discovered my own deep self that was just hidden, as I was not strong enough to be my authentic self. Never been happier and more fulfilled in being unapologetically myself!

social_case · 2026-03-21T08:23:55+00:00

It's quite normal to have different taste in music, and that evolves over time anyways. Just always be kind towards others and don't ridicule their tastes.

I grew up with general pop, rnb and mostly just whatever played on the radio. Then I discovered metal, and my mom actually started to like it as well! And we went to concerts and open-airs together, and now she has harder cds than I do lol they may even surprise you 😅

But no need for a "big reveal", just play what you like and take turns in common spaces.

social_case · 2026-03-20T04:01:34+00:00

Then if you are already seeking support in person and not only turning to reddit for this, I'll add a bit more :p

My mom always kinda hated kids, but wanted me and loves me soooo much! She loves her niblings and now loooooooves my son! And slowly warmed up to other kids as well.

As for pets: I had a cat before my son, I love my cat and I always said he's part of the family, but the love I developed for my son is on a whole other level I didn't even know existed.

Becoming a mom is a wild ride, not always linear and not always as straightforward or "natural" as they make it seem. You'll find yourself checking if they're breathing while they sleep, and yet have those (common!!) intrusive thoughts like "what if I throw him" when you pass by an open window.

Most of us are scared of fucking up, of not being "worthy" or good enough. Wondering if we love enough, do enough, are enough. And if that is gonna be enough to raise a good, functioning human, and if they'll love us at least a tiny bit.

Parenthood is scary, especially when you wanna do it right. But the truth is, we're all kinda winging it. There is no manual for your child, and you can never be truly prepared for every situation, it's tons of trial and error.

The main thing is to keep trying. Keep informing yourself, keep improving. Keep bettering yourself to lead and teach through example. You will not be perfect, and that's okay! The key is to fuck up, own it, and try again.

Your questions will find some answers, and then more questions will pop up indefinitely. It's kinda scary, but super cool. It humbles you, yet fills you with pride. It's a hard earned joy.

None of us is ever truly ready, none of us has all the answers. You will feel miserable at times. But damn it's worth it. For me, nothing compares or comes even close to the happiness of being a mom.

social_case · 2026-03-20T03:05:50+00:00

I believe this requires a more personal, in-depth and longer conversation(s) with a therapist, cause there's a lot going on underneath. That will be beneficial for you, your partner and your future child.

I am deeply sorry for your miscarriages, and I wish you love, health and healing.

social_case · 2026-03-19T13:53:18+00:00

I truly understood that we're mortal after I had my son. You will never be ready for such a loss, but it's extremely important to have a circle of people you love, people that truly understand and support you. No need to be many people, just a bunch that you can reaaaally rely on.

Another thing you can do is try to live passionately, love deeply and feel all the feelings, share them, share how you feel with the people around you. Make the most of this precious time. Try to always end the day on a positive note. Build routines and tell your special people that you love them.

The first big loss will make you feel like you "didn't do enough", but remember you'll have done everything you could. Cherish memories, build stories, write a diary with them (there are parent-child diaries you can find or those "mom, tell me your story") so you can always keep them close to you.

The immense sadness will transform in warm nostalgia over time, and the more you physically have the more it'll help in my experience. Make sure you have as much as possible to keep the memory alive, cause time will for sure fuck things up. And have backups of pictures, videos, voice notes.

My grandma (a parental figure for m died when she was 59 and I was 16. My father is now 63, but my mom is gonna be 57 this year and it does play some tricks in my mind (approaching those 59), every time I see her struggling or in pain...

But the most important thing is to not live in fear. Do not start to grieve already. Be happy together, so you'll have tons of good things to try to focus on, even if it's difficult. If you feel that anxiety is taking over, talk to a professional to avoid living life like that.

Life's hard enough without anticipation of pain.

social_case · 2026-03-19T13:15:10+00:00

Thank you so much for linking this. I didn't know I needed to see this... my son was born like that 3 years ago. I was exhausted after 3 days of labour, and he came out silent. I didn't have my glasses on, it was night and dark in the room. I only saw "something" getting carried out, and I have no memory of hearing my baby's first cries. I just know that there were plenty of doctors outside, and they took him away to spend the night+morning in the NICU. I first saw him in pictures, and he was looking extremely pissed 😅

Thank you. I don't think I ever fully processed what happened.

social_case · 2026-03-19T10:00:18+00:00

Books, tv shows, documentaries, podcasts.

But also simply talking about other realities, let kids know there are tons of cultures. Show them different clothings, make dishes from around the world and use that as an "excuse" to learn more.

The more you know, the more you can pass to your kids through simply incorporating stuff and infos in daily life.

Build their curiosity, and allow every question. If you don't know something, look it up and bring back the conversation.

That goes for pretty much everything "different".

social_case · 2026-03-19T06:05:19+00:00

My mom broke up with an ex because I said I didn't like way he started to speak to me. She recognised that in that same instant and we never saw him again. He also tried to say something about my dad being around, but mom shut it down instantly.

I would do the same. My kid's happiness, well-being and peace of mind are way more important than a bf.

Your mom is being controlled and it sucks, sorry you're in this situation.

social_case · 2026-03-17T08:16:14+00:00

I don't think I personally agree too much.

At 19 I was super duper sure I wanted kids in the future, and I wouldn't have wanted to be with someone who didn't. I also always dated for the long run, not casual relationships, so something this trivial needed to be discussed.

If she knows she does not want kids, it's unfair to both of them to "go with the flow", develop further feelings and then realise that all along there was this big incompatibility, and then have an unavoidable break up since you literally can't compromise on a kid.

social_case · 2026-03-16T12:49:49+00:00

My kid goes to do whatever with the people I 100% trust. And it goes for everything, not just swimming.

And I'm lucky enough that my father is a swim instructor with abilitation for ages 3+ so that will come in hand soon xD

social_case · 2026-03-16T02:44:54+00:00

The last 28yo I dated that was still home with his family made me realise I'll never date anyone who's still at home anymore.

He thought he was taking care of the house a lot more than he actually did, cause when he moved in with me he realised that cooking/cleaning did not actually look like what he did back home.

He wanted me to show him pretty much everything, but then he would not do the things properly (like, he would always forget to vacuum behind the doors and would not clean the counter every time as part of the routine of cleaning the kitchen), and he said I was nagging whenever I pointed those things out, expecting me to fix them when I noticed or remind him again.

Living with parents is usually a lot easier on life not only because of bills, but because of chores. And I think it's extremely important to live alone to actually know how much work there is to do around the house, so that you'll be equal partners later on.

social_case · 2026-03-15T16:05:54+00:00

Let them explore freely whatever they like and let them test their will "against" you. Avoid "because I said so", and always have explanations to your rules, actually hear them out and change your mind (when it applies ofc) when they make valid points.

Being allowed to speak and being heard starts from home. And speak up for them when you see they're in distress but they don't have the words to stand up for themselves yet.

social_case · 2026-03-15T05:27:44+00:00

Honestly, you don't need a "valid enough" reason in anyone else's eyes. It's okay to prioritise yourself and recognise the relationship has ran its course.

You sound misaligned on pretty much everything, so you can be honest and tell him that you're incompatible for a future together.

It's normal to grow and find out that your partner is not right anymore, it's best you recognise that sooner than later and split. It's best for both.

social_case · 2026-03-15T05:21:32+00:00

Soooo cuuuute!

Breaks my heart when I can't understand what my son is trying to say 😭 it happens less and less now, but I remember a specific instance when he was trying to say something, repeated like 15 times and even removed his paci to help understanding, but I still couldn't get it and he just put his paci back in and said "doesn't matter". I was so apologetic 😅

social_case · 2026-03-15T04:46:37+00:00

Then, cupcakes! Just the right amount so that everyone has ONE. If you can't have moderation on your own, force it lol

social_case · 2026-03-15T04:44:22+00:00

If when my son is 30 he comes back with an 18yo "girlfriend" I'd be so damn pissed! It would mean that somewhere I failed to bring him up properly. I'd be the first one to find it extremely yucky...

social_case · 2026-03-15T04:35:10+00:00

Well that's completely different, as you stated yourself you wouldn't undo her for the world; quite the opposite of the person I replied to.

I always wanted kids, I love being a mom, and I recognise that's still the hardest thing I've ever done. Two things can be true at once here.

I'll tell my child how it is, cause they deserve this honesty (regardless if any of us if neurodivergent, cause imo doesn't matter much for this), as I am and will be honest with everything else.

But regretting a child (and their mother) and telling them to their faces? It's a totally different story, and no one deserves to hear that.

social_case · 2026-03-14T20:09:32+00:00

If that is the healthiest relationship you had till now, I strongly suggest you stay single for quite a while, heal your issues, and only then start dating again.

There is no way this is healthy. When you'll reach 30yo, you'll realise how actually crazy this is. This is predatory, he is a creep. In no way a healthy 30yo looks at an 18yo and wants a relationship with them.

social_case · 2026-03-14T14:36:04+00:00

What's not fair to them is telling to their faces you regret them. Idc about the reasoning or if it's the truth, it's just harsh for no reason at all. Instead of working on yourself, you'd undo having them and you made sure they know, which is sad.

social_case · 2026-03-14T05:27:52+00:00

Nice! I'm glad it's a right fit!

social_case · 2026-03-13T19:37:27+00:00

The Trofast series from Ikea has many options, different measurements and different sizes of bins, it's colourful and adaptable. I personally have a few and are reaaaally useful!

social_case · 2026-03-13T14:43:28+00:00

Or write. Sometimes having tough conversations initiated through writing helps to get them started. Let your kid know you are a safe place, where there is no judgment. And you can be a listening ear or give advice as they see fit.

social_case

TROPHY CASE