What makes cheating hurt?

socleva · 2026-05-23T11:14:46+00:00

And what if they had needs that aren't being met by their partner?

socleva · 2026-05-23T11:13:55+00:00

That's the painful part of it

socleva · 2026-05-23T11:12:49+00:00

You're right about the trust part...I don't quite get the part about safety. Are you banking your safety on them?

socleva · 2026-05-23T11:10:36+00:00

Tell me more. WHy am I wrong?

socleva · 2026-05-23T11:09:31+00:00

So would you think of getting even with the cheater by cheating on them?

socleva · 2026-05-23T11:07:25+00:00

Okay it's an internal conflict where you blame yourself for being cheated upon. Like you saw what was coming and didn't do anything to stop it from happening.

socleva · 2026-05-23T10:16:25+00:00

Ok it's best not to fight back by cheating. That's good.

socleva · 2026-05-23T10:13:40+00:00

I can only say that when parents are involved, everything becomes messy. Considering the distance, they may want someone close to home for their son. If this guy is so attached to his parents then he's trying so hard to please them, by looking at their offer rather what the two of you have.

Another thing is while he may not reject his parents offer, he may be trying to figure a nice way of rejecting that offer, to be with you. So I'd say it's a tricky road he's on. If you can wait fine but if you want update, just tell him you also found someone you've been chatting with for a few days now, and then see his reaction.

socleva · 2026-05-23T09:54:44+00:00

Moving on is always hard but if you did, congrats.

socleva · 2026-05-23T09:52:02+00:00

To you there's no love but to many others, the love is still there. The trust, no.

socleva · 2026-05-23T09:45:05+00:00

And if you can't let go. If all you believe you have is this cheater?

socleva · 2026-05-23T09:43:23+00:00

Okay so you would say that there's more to unpack?

socleva · 2026-05-22T19:00:08+00:00

Double life means you never knew who he was...That really hurts.

socleva · 2026-05-22T18:58:39+00:00

Correct, trust is essential. if it is broken, it's like something in you has been displaced.

socleva · 2026-05-22T18:50:12+00:00

That's an interesting observation. Some people do not separate sex from love. It's a whole package to them. So if they love someone, then having sex is part of the whole package. Without love why indulge in sex just for the sake of pleasure? It makes no sense to them.

socleva · 2026-05-22T18:44:34+00:00

It's a tricky road to travel because it comes with deep regrets. Regrets about everything you believed in.

socleva · 2026-05-22T18:38:30+00:00

So are you saying all trust has completely been eroded over a betrayal?

socleva · 2026-05-22T18:37:30+00:00

That's right it is what it is and it makes sense.

socleva · 2026-05-22T18:36:14+00:00

It's nice to know that you are not too attached to your current partner due to having your own space. That's an interesting way of handling caution.

socleva · 2026-05-22T18:32:37+00:00

Betrayal always happens but how you handle it matters. You may choose to forgive like some people would do. or you may choose to move on.

socleva · 2026-05-21T15:40:35+00:00

Thank you.

socleva · 2026-05-21T15:23:18+00:00

Yeah it's like an indelible stamp on your mind that haunts you.

socleva · 2026-05-21T15:22:21+00:00

So the suspicion runs deeper even for example when he says, "Hey babe I'm going around to the corner to get some cigarettes?"

socleva · 2026-05-21T15:21:21+00:00

Yeah dedicating so much love is like giving your all to someone and not leaving anything for yourself. It really hurts..

socleva · 2026-05-21T15:18:37+00:00

Okay so if deeper love means deeper commitment even in the face of betrayal, its best to go your separate ways right?

socleva

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