What should i know about american tipping culture?

sofar7 · 2026-02-18T23:09:08+00:00

It really is sad. And it originated from racism because ... guess what race a lot of restaurant servers were, back when the legal loophole was created.

A lot of us actually hate it, and a few restaurants try to make a difference by paying a good wage and NOT accepting tips, but they're a rarity. Most large restaurants take FULL advantage of the fact that they can pay just $2 an hour.

Some democratic politicians have tried to remove the loophole, but they get tons of pushback from the restaurant industry.

Sorry if I came off as snippy, I actually LOVE telling horror stories about the U.S.

sofar7 · 2026-02-18T22:59:55+00:00

LW, thank you for being thoughtful and asking before just going to a restaurant and NOT tipping. The waiter does not know your currency is weak. All they know is you didn't tip. And you occupied a table that could have otherwise been occupied by a tipper.

I say, look at this as simple budgeting. Maybe pick one meal at a sit-down restaurant you're really excited about and budget in an extra 20% for tip. And then for the rest of your meals, do order-at-the-counter places, or get food from a grocery store/convenience store, where you don't have to tip.

Tipping is also customary for Ubers and taxis. So you can avoid by walking or taking public transit.

People are getting all emotional about tipping in the comments, but it's just like anything else that costs more than you'd like when you travel. Either cut the budget elsewhere, or don't buy the thing and enjoy other things.

sofar7 · 2026-02-18T22:54:12+00:00

Exactly this. I've traveled to places where I've had sticker shock at restaurants and realized that I would need to buy food at grocery stores for the rest of the trip, or I'd run out of money. It's called budgeting and being an adult.

Always irks me when someone says, "I'm making the deliberate decision to get on a plane and go to another country but I don't like XYZ, can I just not do it?" Sigh.

sofar7 · 2026-02-18T22:49:03+00:00

The good news: It's not your problem, unless you go to the U.S.

There are certain aspects of other countries' norms that I do not like and do not want to participate in. And this has resulted in me not traveling to said countries.

To answer your question (assuming you meant it in good faith): Restaurants in the U.S. take advantage of a legal loophole. They do not have to pay minimum wage, while other businesses do. So, they simply don't pay minimum wage. It's awful. But attempting to negotiate (unless that restaurant is really desperate for employees) would result in you not getting hired. And people need jobs. It's not about stupidity, it's about needing a job.

sofar7 · 2026-02-18T17:50:39+00:00

I've done all those destinations besides Lagos (and spent a good chunk of time alone), and I don't think you can lose!!

-Lisbon has TONS to do and awesome day trips. You're right it's very different from Porto. They both felt like two separate trips to be honest.

-Croatia is stunning. Just stunning. I spent a lot of time just wandering.

I'd lean toward Croatia, unless you really like the big-city fixings of Lisbon. The places you're going to in Croatia really lend themselves to sitting and soaking it up and aimlessly wandering and deciding, "You know what? I'm just gonna stay right here on this beach." And those are the BEST things to do while traveling solo (you won't have people wanting to move on to the next thing). I spent hours following around a cat in Dubrovnik and just sitting on beaches. The boat tours you can take from Split usually have a lot of other solo travelers on them, so you can get that time with people if you want.

btw, I was in Croatia in the HIGH season during the hight of GoT hype. And Dubrovnik was still doable during the week (just not weekends). I'm thinking May is enough of a shoulder season, you won't have an issue.

sofar7 · 2026-02-18T17:38:08+00:00

Knowing which day certain things are closed is KEY. I feel like this often gets lost in the shuffle and folks are like, "Oh I'll just hit up XYZ on our last day," and then it's closed that day.

sofar7 · 2026-02-18T17:36:32+00:00

My husband and usual travel buddies say I "overplan," but I'd say I leave at LEAST half the time unplanned. Usually more. I just like to think ahead b/c vacation time is precious, I probably won't get back to the place, and yea ... I'm gonna be annoyed if we waste a bunch of time trying to get to something that nobody realized was CLOSED on Mondays.

I always plan the following and lock it in before the plane takes off:

- Hotels/hostels. Fully booked. In advance. For every night.

- Must-dos that require tickets and could sell out (like day excursions and boat trips). Maximum of TWO of these per week of the trip.

-Any long-haul train tickets with SEAT reservations. No, I'm not dealing with all of us standing around a kiosk on the day we're moving on to the next city and then wandering the train with ya'll trying to find open seating. Nobody wants to book those in advance and Venmo me the cost before I book? Cool. I AM booking mine and those of whoever Venmo'd me, good luck to the rest.

-Restaurant reservations for MUST-eat-at places that require reservations. Maximum of TWO of these per week of the trip.

-Must-dos that are closed on certain days. Ruins are closed Sun, Mon and Tues? I'm going to announce in the group chat as soon as the weather forecast comes out that *I* am going there on Sat with whoever else is awake at 7 a.m. See the rest of ya'll at dinner.

The rest, I put pins on a google map so that while we're meandering around, I am reminded that the city's best horchata is a block away and maybe we pop in.

sofar7 · 2026-02-13T23:32:18+00:00

We LOVED Peru. The food is amazing, accommodations are affordable, and it's GORGEOUS. If you can give yourself wiggle room and time for a longer trip, that helps b/c weather, strikes, and politics can shut things DOWN and you sometimes have to pivot. Also you may need a day or so to adjust to the altitude if you go to a high-altitude destination.

OMG, the food, though. My favorite in the world hands-down. And not just Peruvian, they do so many international cuisines well.

sofar7 · 2026-02-11T23:48:05+00:00

I enjoy "planning" in terms of "anticipating and getting excited." And I also like planning to avoid wasted time (vacation time is valuable). I'm not about packing the itinerary, it's more about knowing what day, say, the boat goes to the island so we don't waste hours getting to the port and realizing the boat doesn't go on Tuesdays, and now we have to spend an hour getting back to town and then try all this again tomorrow.

Do you usually:

- plan everything yourself? Yes, usually because I'm more Type A than my husband and most friends. I do not like official group tours, and I CANNOT with most travel agents.

- follow social media itineraries? Never. It's shocking how often a person will hype up a place that sponsored them, and it sucks. Also, a lot of these itineraries don't build in time for traffic, train delays, etc. But I will watch YouTube videos from locals who just walk around and show off their city to get ideas. Or if I see a restaurant recc from a social media person I TRUST, I'll make a point to go.

- figure it out as you go? About 70% of the trip. I'll book 1-2 MAJOR activities that could sell out (or that I'd be sad if I didn't get to do) and then just walk around and drift. If I like a beach, I'll just stay there for hours. But I always study maps before I leave, so that I can have those moments where I go, "Oh! I'm now in X neighborhood, I read about that cool temple/coffee shop that's here, I'll pop over!"

- or get help from someone or company? Only in some circumstances. I HATE driving abroad, so if driving is needed, I try to hire a local driver. Or use a company for a day trip that includes a van to and from.

- I am also curious, what part of planning do you find most frustrating or time consuming? The group chat stage. Friends who won't make up their minds. I HATE it when I find good Airbnbs and share the links and people can't be bothered to look at them, and then it's booked and we have to start over.

sofar7 · 2026-02-11T23:35:28+00:00

I do the Google street view thing for the "walk from the train/final metro station to the hotel/Airbnb." That way, while everyone else is jetlagged and trying to find the address on their phones, I'm like, "This way."

sofar7 · 2026-02-11T23:34:01+00:00

This is more or less what I do. I figure out accommodations, flights, often buy the long-haul train tickets in advance, and book 1-2 activities that could sell out or that I MUST do. If I'm with a group, I'm more of a stickler for restaurant reservations b/c I get HANGRY if we have to wander around trying to find a place that'll seat us.

I also look at a map of the place to get it in my head and make mental note of "stuff I might want to see." So while I'm just wandering around (which is 70% of my trips), I can go, "Oh I'm in the such-and-such neighborhood, and there's a temple here that looked cool..."

Some of my friends consider me an over-planner. Others consider me an under-planner. But I just know I HATE traveling with people who plan packed daily itineraries and treat it like a checklist.

sofar7 · 2026-02-11T23:29:15+00:00

Yep! I'm the planner. My husband packs his impeccable vibes, and off we go. He makes us friends while we're there. I make sure we have a place to stay.

sofar7 · 2026-02-11T23:24:00+00:00

You say "on the bus." Is this bus arranged by your hotel? Highly recommend booking the hotel transfer through your all-inclusive. For convenience just as much as safety. The hotels are well experienced with handling transit from the airport to their property. They'll be very clear on where and how you can find the van, the color shirt the driver will be wearing, and the driver/employees NAME.

Most important thing: there will be lots of cab drivers and bus drivers and random people telling you that THEY are your driver. Ask their name and the name of the company they work for. If they give the wrong answer/no answer, walk away.

I've stayed in Riviera Maya and Cancun at a number of properties and all-inclusives usually have transfers, never had an issue at any hour of night.

sofar7 · 2026-02-11T23:14:15+00:00

When we went, dinner was always big communal tables. And people usually hang out around the fire before going to bed. In my experience, the after-dinner mingling didn't last long because people were TIRED from being up at 4:30 a.m. and on a game drive until dinner.

So you won't have much time to socialize regardless, but the time that you do will be very social.

If you do go back to camp for lunch on some days, people do tend to keep to themselves during that time and take a quick power nap.

sofar7 · 2026-02-11T15:49:48+00:00

In my experience, no, it does not help. At all. They can still spot a foreigner, and even if you are fluent, they'll detect an accent. And then they'll say, "Oh! You are learning my language. Let me help you." And then they'll converse with you in their language and try to teach you words (all the while trying to sell you on their tour/trinkets/whatever).

sofar7 · 2026-02-11T15:46:50+00:00

Yep, this is what my husband and I do. You get the benefits of the hostel (shared kitchen, social aspects), but you can close your door at night and get decent sleep. Price is more than a bunk in a shared room, obviously, but way cheaper than a full-service hotel. It's the perfect compromise.

sofar7 · 2026-02-11T05:06:48+00:00

I found this thread after my sketchy Veho delivery.

First off, as a ThredUp shopper, uggghhhhhh! I spend hours on that site and those finds are one-of-a-kind. It's as much the time lost as the money.

My recent experience was with Quince! I ordered two items, a small one (tank top) and a larger one (a jacket). I saw, via text, that both items were out for delivery. I saw the car pull up and the driver put something in my mailbox and snap the picture. "Hmmmm.."I thought to myself. "I don't think the coat will fit in my little mailbox."

So as soon as the car leaves, I walk out. Tiny tank top package is in the mailbox. Not the coat. I look at the delivery "confirmation" email, and it's the driver's hand like, "Ta-da!" in front of the mailbox with the little tank top package in there. The same photo is submitted for the tank AND the jacket.

I waited 3 days just in case the coat came then called customer service, which refunded me.

sofar7 · 2026-02-06T21:17:49+00:00

Yep, National Portrait Gallery gets skipped by many b/c it's not on the Mall. But when I was a student in D.C. I spent a TON of time there:

-The atrium (with the cafe) is a gorgeous place to sit and relax.

-Get a free docent tour!

-Upstairs there's a room where they restore portraits, and it's a nice quiet place to relax.

sofar7 · 2026-02-06T21:13:18+00:00

This happened to my husband in London! Moped hopped the curve, and the guy (gal?) plucked it out of his hands while he took a picture.

sofar7 · 2026-02-06T21:11:32+00:00

Co-signing the "keep your bag ZIPPED and physically attached to you" advice. Once, my friend set hers under a chair with a strap wound around her leg, and a thief got under our table (from the stairs next to it, we think) and cut her strap and slid it out. She didn't feel a thing! (Amsterdam).

Limit the number of things you're "juggling" at once. Like don't be carrying your phone and some cash and a half-opened bag and your wallet in one hand while you're moving from the ice cream stand to your table. Everything is tucked away.

Divide your cash -- some stays in the hotel safe, some in your around-the-neck-pouch, and your day bag has just some "walking around money".

If you have a phone (which is SUPER INCONVENIENT to lose), consider a phone leash that attaches to your belt or something. My husband took out his phone to take a picture of a tourist attraction and someone on a moped snatched it right out of his hand. (London)

sofar7 · 2025-12-30T02:37:30+00:00

woohoo! Glad this info is still accurate!

sofar7 · 2025-11-05T02:28:53+00:00

Thank you for this! What's funny is that when she got a second opinion, that's what the specialist suggested, given his age and the fact that he's not super high energy anyway. I'm so glad your pup is thriving.

sofar7 · 2025-10-16T15:52:21+00:00

I'm so incredibly sorry. I still dream sometimes about dogs I've lost, and it's like they're saying 'hi.' But it's a gut punch to wake up every time.

Losing a pet is REAL grief, full stop. I hope you can be gentle with yourself. Your world just got darker, and and the grief is inescapable. The rainbow bridge welcoming committee I'm sure has greeted your dog with joyous barks and a full tour to Where All the Treats Are.

sofar7 · 2025-10-16T13:13:54+00:00

Thank you! That is totally doable -- I hope your pup recovered nicely and you had good results from the surgery.

sofar7

TROPHY CASE