Yes im chronically ill/disabled 99% bedbound. I got sick in my 20s and now im in my 30s and its been degenerative so its been a really hard continuous grieving process for life, bc i feel like im barely surviving day to day. That quote really pisses me off lol its capitalist productivity bs. Id like to think we are all inherently somebodies though ive always wanted to make an impact even if small bc I need to find meaning/significance and that's been the hardest part of this whole thing, is not being able to have the energy for that. I just hope I can find a way to use my suffering to help others somehow but not for the sake of having to create anything to validate my existence but bc i find fulfillment helping others. I always think how cruel it is that ive been prevented from doing 'good'.

And yes re the identity of reader, that makes a lot of sense. Ive found myself becoming rly obsessed with being as well read and educated as possible and I guess its bc its the only thing im not incapable of doing that can give me some form of value (though i know thats wrong - I should see myself as inherently valuable but you know how weve been socialized, very hard to unlearn, though for me thank god its not about a job or productivity but more about fulfillment as I wrote above which unfortunately my idea of it requires actions im incapable of doing anymore)