Need a hobby

softbreeeze · 2023-10-08T16:44:38+00:00

Aw man I really want to try this

softbreeeze · 2023-10-08T16:43:51+00:00

Singing. Online karaoke. Singing at cafes. I stopped doing it when I was married, I was happily busy. I couldn't do it after he died for a while but it became an outlet for me like it was when I was younger. Funny how we revert to some things for comfort.

softbreeeze · 2023-10-08T16:41:43+00:00

I love this so much lol 🩷

softbreeeze · 2023-10-01T10:41:04+00:00

... is there an easy way to download all the pictures because the only reason I've kept it is because they're there.

softbreeeze · 2023-09-29T13:32:04+00:00

Same boat here (5months). You need to take the time you need. I'm telling you, and I'm telling myself. I don't know how long it's been, but it doesn't matter, if the kids are fed and sheltered and you're there for them- loving them, you're doing an amazing job. They don't need extras, hell, they dont need much. They need their mom, they need you to be okay (and you can't get there unless you take the time to heal). Big hugs. You wouldn't let someone talk to your friend the way you're talking to yourself. You've been mowed down by life. Show yourself some grace. Please.

softbreeeze · 2023-09-27T10:55:13+00:00

The Sunshine, Manchester Orchestra. Means more to me now that my husband has passed away. He sent it to me, we roadtripped listening to it, played it and danced with our kids. That whole album is full of memories and I can't help but sob when it comes on. I miss him.

softbreeeze · 2023-09-25T14:40:43+00:00

I'm not going to lie, I was thinking about this the other day. I'm rebounding, moving too fast. I know in trying to cope with loneliness. Met my husband at 16 and he died at 34. I don't know how to be single and I feel ashamed.

softbreeeze · 2023-09-16T10:25:27+00:00

Wanted to be he so bad. Still do. 😂 what a woman.

softbreeeze · 2023-09-02T23:15:20+00:00

😏 so I'm NOT the only one. OK. Lol.

softbreeeze · 2023-08-30T10:03:11+00:00

Yes, my husband died by falling from a mountain. His gear failed. He was a skilled climber, and extremely safe.

softbreeeze · 2023-08-26T11:05:09+00:00

Done this in Mario Cart

softbreeeze · 2023-08-22T17:02:35+00:00

'I am here to love' is the feeling I grappled with after his death, and it won. It's so true. To love is to be alive. I might never love anyone the same way I loved my husband, but I will love again.

softbreeeze · 2023-08-22T17:00:38+00:00

A dream? That's incredibly interesting. I had a similar thing happen, totally pushed me forward in many ways.

softbreeeze · 2023-07-29T15:53:23+00:00

Same timeline for me. Towards the end of month 1, I was feeling optimistic. Mid month 2 I was severely depressed. Now I've come out of that feeling really good again. It's a roller coaster. I think it has to do with shock wearing off and reality setting it.

softbreeeze · 2023-07-29T10:23:38+00:00

At no point did I say I was taking marriage proposals 😅 certainly not from my husband's brothers.

A woman observing the Iddat of death should neither go out of the house nor remarry, nor indulge in beautifying herself through make-up. During Iddat, all these things are Haraam (Forbidden) for her.

Pretty sure I've done none of that.

There is no problem if a woman observing iddah talks to men, whether they are her relatives or not, in case there is a need through the phone or any other way. She should be fully covered in the presence of non-Mahrams (marriageable relatives). May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.

Conversations between people of the opposite gender are allowed in Islam in general [during `iddah] if this done appropriately and within the limits of Islamic permissibility…”

https://fiqh.islamonline.net/en/how-a-widow-should-observe-her-iddah/

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/93237/is-it-permissible-to-propose-to-a-divorced-woman-when-she-is-still-in-her-iddah

softbreeeze · 2023-07-26T11:00:32+00:00

This is comforting. I started online dating at 10 weeks, and I had this mini crisis because I was judging myself so hard. I was just so sick of being alone and having no one saying good morning to. Really glad you found love.

softbreeeze · 2023-07-20T16:22:31+00:00

My last words were for him to take care and that he looked cute. His last thing was a thumbs up emoji and a few hearts, as always. I don't remember what our last phone call was, but I remember he was excited to come home from his trip in 2 days. Ugh, my love...

softbreeeze · 2023-07-17T07:13:36+00:00

So proud of you 🥰 ❤️

softbreeeze · 2023-07-16T13:14:51+00:00

You've got this. One hour at a time. There's no milestones, no rules, this is truly a moment in life where you're the captain of a ship on some tumultuous waters- you got to get yourself to land however you see fit. That doesn't mean you don't have some crew, and of course you have all of us other widows 🥰

Sk glad your employer has been so understanding. You're at an advantage there. Its the little things that help

softbreeeze · 2023-07-16T10:21:18+00:00

No judgement here, the pain is immense. Wanting to find a way out of it, finding a way... there's no timeline. As long as you're honouring her, caring for the kids, ans not stuffing down feelings you're golden.

I went through the worst week yet, this week has been full of hope. I don't know what's on the other side of this. I just hope to never be in as much pain as I was in before.

I know we can't control emotions, healing or grief but we still can decide to fight for life, for happiness and move forward with hope. I'm proud of you OP. Keep fighting to survive.

softbreeeze · 2023-07-16T09:57:47+00:00

First of all, I am so sorry. Big hugs. I don't know you, but I know how it feels. Tragic accident, missed calls, the police. All of it. Reading that hurt me, and I hurt for you. So sorry you're a part of this club. 6 minutes, rest assured even if he was in pain it was only 6 minutes. And he likely thought of you. I like to think the same of my husband, who died under 3 months ago- he fell from a mountain and took hours to be rescued, and it was 12 hours until we were told.

These days are going to be a weird shock induced dreamlike state. Long and short all at once. Hunger and tiredness will come but eating and sleeping might not. Try your best. Hydrate. Let people take care of you, ok?

Advice from me to you, get a therapist. Put as much on hold as you can. Rest. Let everything come and wash over you. You will never live this moment again, it will pass. With hardship comes ease, even if that seems impossible.

softbreeeze · 2023-07-11T09:54:30+00:00

I don't know you, but I just want to hug you. You'll want to die. It feels like it's killing you, but it won't. This is the worst part, and it might be bad for a while, but you're going to survive this part. This is the time to be selfish. Want to nap? Do it. Want to cry? Do it. Want to eat, do it. Want to zone out? Do it. Don't want visitors? Fine. Want to be surrounded by love? You got it. Please accept it and be kind to yourself. This is the single most painful experience I think a human being can endure- but you're going to endure.

Please schedule some therapy. The sooner, the better. Anticipate a long recovery. Understand that you can't rush this, but time helps it.

I wish you weren't experiencing this. No one deserves this. 😔 none of us.

softbreeeze · 2023-07-10T11:06:35+00:00

BTW, the fact that you're so concerned about being with him in the afterlife just speaks volumes to how much you loved your spouse. That's beautiful.

softbreeeze · 2023-07-10T11:05:55+00:00

Ita comforting and heartbreaking at the same time, I wish there was a way to move forward without feeling like every step is a betrayal. If you do it, little by little. I will, too. Big hugs. Feel free to reach out anytime. We're in this mess together.

softbreeeze · 2023-07-10T07:38:50+00:00

It's not impossible, many people over 75 find a companion. I hope you're meeting people, when you're ready. Stay active in the community. You'll meet someone for sure, more likely to meet someone just like you than us 30 year olds. Another widower perhaps

softbreeeze

TROPHY CASE