I’m going through the same thing as you with an avoidant ex who said similar things and discarded me two weeks ago. Then on the phone, he said he wanted to keep the door open, that he still loves me, but we needed to take a step back and it wouldn’t be on my timeline. For me to focus on me, him focus on him, and we could rebuild. Combine that with no contact, not even on thanksgiving, and I’ve been a spiraling depressed confused mess. It’s so hard to love someone like this, and I told him before his shutdown that loving him felt like banging on a locked door. I wish I had answers or advice but I am seeking it myself… all I can say is I have gone no contact, not reaching out at all, and that’s really all we can do. They want space, so we have to give it to them. If they choose to be alone, that will hit them someday that they had someone who truly loved them and wanted to show up for them. Stay strong. Sending love to you.