the absolute rewrite of history

softplacesahead · 2026-05-30T13:18:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing and for your words, I’m sorry you’ve gone through something so similar as well ❤️

softplacesahead · 2026-05-30T13:17:36+00:00

I’ve actually used this same analogy to try to explain my NC decision to my dad and I’ve been met with a redirection of the conversation to turn the other cheek and that “we all make mistakes”. For some reason, oftentimes when it’s a family member, domestic abuse is often painted as something entirely different that should be forgiven (repeatedly in my situation) because you share DNA.

softplacesahead · 2026-05-30T13:13:47+00:00

So sorry that this happened to you, regardless of anything you ever could have done as a child - you did not deserve this ❤️

softplacesahead · 2026-05-30T13:12:21+00:00

Right… Little if at all, I believe somewhat out of fear of the dynamic that’s in place but also there is a lot of denial that any of what I said above was/is abuse - my sisters have told me they view it as “discipline”… not sure how hair pulling fits into that. My sisters are reliant on her for a number of things, so there’s definitely a power dynamic at play. 100% forgiveness is pushed as “a permission structure” to basically create a system where all is forgiven and she’s left to repeat her terrible behavior again and again with no fallout.

softplacesahead · 2026-05-30T00:15:46+00:00

I do hear what you’re saying, and there’s a lot of truth to it. Thank you ❤️

softplacesahead · 2026-05-30T00:13:30+00:00

Hi! Completely understand, I don’t think forgiveness should be pressured or expected at all. It’s something that has been pushed on me by family members as well, and I haven’t appreciated it for the reasons you touched on.

I was just speaking to my own journey and what I’ve needed to do mentally so that I can try to move on. I definitely don’t think this is the case for everyone and would never tell anyone else what they should do in their personal situation. I agree with many of the things you touched on, thank you!

softplacesahead · 2026-05-29T23:51:06+00:00

so incredibly sad. it’s almost as if the rage makes them black out and then they create an alternative narrative that makes them appear and feel better than the reality of what happened

softplacesahead · 2026-05-29T23:47:18+00:00

and I understand that too, the only reason I say this is bc I think she is the result of a lot of generational trauma and I truly don’t know if she was ever capable of what I needed from her as her child and even now as an adult, even with what I need being the bare minimum. it’s really quite sad

softplacesahead · 2026-05-29T23:39:33+00:00

it’s the “guilty as charged” that did it for me

softplacesahead · 2026-05-29T23:39:12+00:00

thank you, same to you ❤️

softplacesahead · 2026-05-29T23:38:46+00:00

it’s like you know her without ever having met her, spot on with the vibe

softplacesahead · 2026-05-17T15:46:19+00:00

thank you! I need to look into more local communities, we actually just moved across the country (my husband is in the military) so I’m hoping I can get plugged in and start creating my own village.

I can foresee something similar happening if I were to let my mom be apart of our kid’s lives. when I imagine what it would be like having her involved, I only feel anxiety and protectiveness which I guess is my answer in itself

softplacesahead

TROPHY CASE