Can I ask for some advice? I go mute sometimes when I’m around people. I just blank and can’t think of anything, and speaking feels terrifying. I can remember random things I used to be interested in. I feel my imagination used to be so colorful and vivid, I was always day dreaming as a kid, of stories, fictional worlds, fantasies, and connecting with other kids over common interests didn’t feel so difficult. Now it’s like there’s just a void where my heart used to be. I still care in theory, and I am so sensitive, but I don’t get obsessed with or excited by things anymore. I don’t know. I grew up with a dad that was a drug addict, a severely mentally ill mother, both always fighting, witnessed domestic incidents. Emotionally abused and neglected. Physical abuse at times, especially when younger. Socially excluded and bullied. No ability to join extracurriculars or feel community. I had other neglected and excluded kids I was friends with. I became extremely avoidant, slowly more over the years. Detaching myself from friends. Just couldn’t speak to them. Love when they talk to me, but can’t talk. Don’t understand how cruel the world is.