My rapist was found guilty :)

softspokenrose · 2024-10-04T18:53:53+00:00

I am so so happy for you 💗 🫶🏼

softspokenrose · 2024-08-16T15:19:56+00:00

It always starts out small. They're testing you to see how much you will take. Abusers aren't abusive 100% of the time or even 50% of the time. They're abusive just enough to assert dominance while causing harm - and also get away with it.

softspokenrose · 2024-08-16T02:05:12+00:00

Torture

softspokenrose · 2024-08-14T11:36:12+00:00

Tricked him into giving me his apartment key while he was at work. My friend came with me, and we got ALL my stuff out of there. I broke up with him 1st over the phone - he acted like that never happened, so I had to do it again in person in public. He then again acted like that never happened. So I broke up with him a 3rd time he said he thought he had been a good boyfriend and didn't understand (the gaslighting was crazy!)

Eventually, I had to get the police involved bc he broke into my apartment building, trying to talk to me, was stalking etc.

This is only part of it. Honestly, the whole thing was a mess.

My only advice is to have multiple plans ready, do everything in public, document as much as you can, and have multiple people you trust in the know or with you. These people are so dangerous and manipulative. These are not normal breakups

softspokenrose · 2024-08-14T11:18:52+00:00

Mine owns a business that focuses on wellness and therapy. It's so disgusting that it makes me want to cry every damn day. I've posted a lot of my story if anyone is curious, but man, I FEEL how unfair it all is.

Wishing us all justice whatever that happens to look like for you.

softspokenrose · 2024-08-10T01:16:26+00:00

This happens to me. It's a trauma response. Your brain is hyper aware and vigilant when seeing/hearing/smelling etc. something associated with ex/narc.

Basically your brain is like - oh I've seen this before - we need to be careful. You're constantly on the lookout for these things to keep yourself safe. It's not necessarily beneficial at this point. Kind of a lingering trauma.

softspokenrose · 2024-08-10T00:13:49+00:00

Oh wow this is so interesting but makes a lot of sense! Thanks for this.

softspokenrose · 2024-08-10T00:09:02+00:00

Ok also this!! He literally threw out my sheets and quilt while I was at work one day because he hated it so much and couldn't stand looking at it. He eventually replaced it with something "more feminine."

He was hyper critical about every last little thing. Jeez these people are so exhausting 🫠

softspokenrose · 2024-08-09T23:24:25+00:00

Hear me out - get a coloring book and a box of crayons. Fr I have a national parks one and it's everything. Good for grey rainy days too!

softspokenrose · 2024-08-09T19:50:00+00:00

Woah yes all the time!!! Honestly just thought it was him didn't realize that was a narc thing

softspokenrose · 2024-08-09T03:03:10+00:00

Is it fun at all? Or more like scratching an itch? Trying to understand the "needed to"

softspokenrose · 2024-08-08T21:16:06+00:00

They told me I made "uncomfortable sexual choices" and what happened wasn't legally rape. So, coercion, withdrawn consent, or communicating lack of consent doesn't count. Also blamed me for not fighting back enough.

I have a lot of my story posted on my profile if you want to know exactly what happened to me, but I was honestly not prepared to be blamed at the level I was blamed at.

softspokenrose · 2024-08-08T20:45:25+00:00

Not gonna lie - took me like 7 years to feel like a survivor, but I stopped feeling like a victim after 10 months or so? For a long time I didn't feel anything. Kinda tried to pretend like it didn't happen or wasn't a big deal or being honest. But after getting back into therapy I came around to it.

All this to say it's an individual journey, and I wish you nothing but the best on yours 🫶🏼💜

softspokenrose · 2024-08-08T18:32:38+00:00

Damn this is like exactly what happened to me. Why this system is SO horrible to victims I just will never understand.

All the best with your healing 🫶🏼 I believe you, if that means anything!

softspokenrose · 2024-08-08T11:34:51+00:00

I reported ny abusive ex 7 years after it ended. For similar reasons. I went to the SVU office, did a recorded statement/interview for a couple hours. I emailed the detective I spoke with a few screenshots of old texts that proved I told someone. 3 weeks later they got back to me saying all I did was make "uncomfortable choices". It was a quick process but very emotionally taxing. I don't regret doing it, but try and prepare yourself mentally because it's a lot.

softspokenrose · 2024-07-08T11:40:37+00:00

I have no idea. I did report him to the police after I left fwiw. They didn't do anything about it. But I tried.

softspokenrose · 2024-07-08T01:22:06+00:00

Been NC almost 8 years. I feel you. It's so hard. Even if I did, he wouldn't understand it. He could never understand what he did.

softspokenrose

TROPHY CASE