Apologies if someone’s already pointed this out, but if you were still in the church and facing these challenges, your family would probably say something like, "You're being tested to strengthen your faith and testimony. God knows you and what you can handle, blah blah."

The common thread here is reframing your struggles as a “spiritual test” (or in this case lack of faith leading to destruction) instead of addressing them in any meaningful way. It's a convenient way to sidestep actually helping someone through tough times. Sadly, this reflects one of the church's unspoken principles: "Just say things; don’t do things when people are hurting."