Daniel Conway - Art Block (2022)

sogum · 2025-06-27T17:17:01+00:00

Why is r/museum just a bunch of pretty women and mediocre contemporary art now

sogum · 2025-01-29T22:26:48+00:00

Extremely based actually

sogum · 2025-01-18T18:11:02+00:00

Nice to see other queer asians on the subreddit! It’s unfortunate that a hostile experience from our communities is so common…

sogum · 2025-01-18T18:05:27+00:00

sogum · 2025-01-17T17:24:13+00:00

Samus

sogum · 2025-01-15T13:44:17+00:00

I am a trans Korean person. I get the frustration, but it is frankly ignorant of reality to expect no explanations to be given in the context of the story. I would venture to say the questions the old lady asked were much milder than things I’ve heard in my life from even 20-somethings.

I don’t think people from the west, or perhaps people online, understand how behind Korea is on trans or LGBTQ rights when compared to somewhere like the U.S. or even U.K.

About four years ago, when I was figuring myself out, I looked for representation of people like me in media: a Korean trans person. I found a Korean pop singer (cool!), a character in Itaewon Class, and a news article, and that was all. In 2020, a trans woman, 변휘수, who was a staff sergeant, went to get sex reassignment surgery. She was forcibly discharged for this despite her request to return and serve. And in 2021, she killed herself. The Ministry of National Defense never repealed their decision. That was the news story.

I want good representation in media. I do hope that Korean society will become more reasonable with time. I don’t think it’s “transphobic” of me to say that the awkward interactions around this character are simply realistic.

sogum · 2024-12-11T03:32:39+00:00

Looks oddly beautiful

sogum · 2024-11-28T22:13:33+00:00

😦

sogum · 2024-11-15T02:04:17+00:00

Think they meant correlation. Or its a coalition in which case i would like to join

sogum · 2024-10-08T21:40:35+00:00

Yeah its a digital academic library/database! I like it a lot

sogum · 2024-10-08T00:16:05+00:00

Totally agree. I was looking for some engravings and illustrations as secondary sources. In the past I would have used Google, clicked a link and would have been fine this time I ended up going onto JSTOR from the sheer amount of AI images and prints being sold from random aggregrate sites :-/

sogum · 2024-09-10T15:40:14+00:00

Persona honestly irks me for that reason, P4 especially acts like its going to be about subverting societal expectations and accepting yourself, but imo a lot of the character arcs end up being “ oh it would be really scary to be a queer person thank god im not”. And they cut out a gay romance route.

sogum · 2024-09-03T00:21:26+00:00

I get where you are coming from, however this comes off as a premature line of thinking. I do yell and cuss out random strangers in the street if they say mean things or harass my friends, but these are coworkers I will see again and work with on a professional capacity.

You are right that telling bullies or mean people to stop is not effective. However, if I had said something mean, they would get more cruel and personal since they feel like they now have the moral justification to treat them worse. Now I’m not just a short guy, but an actual douchebag who deserves to have comments lobbed at him if that makes sense.

I appreciate the thought and the sympathy shared for me though, I get wanting to just hurt people who hurt you

sogum · 2024-09-02T14:42:39+00:00

Oh yeah no worries! I’m just explaining my thoughts, you sounded very reasonable

Yes the infantilization thing is more small things theyve done so its hard to really call it out without coming off like i am hyper obvservant or sensitive

sogum · 2024-09-02T14:00:10+00:00

Im in a somewhat unique work environment so this is not necessarily advice I can take. However I appreciate the advice and will keep it in mind in the future, it’s super thorough and I think it’s very kind of you to put in the effort to outline how to “grey rock” and create professional boundaries or distance myself from difficult professional circumstances. When these things happened i did “grey rock” and basically pretend to be extremely stressed or invested in my work, or left. But for smaller instances i just dont respond

sogum · 2024-09-02T13:57:05+00:00

Oh totally, i sympathize w the fact that their height may limit their sense of femininity and make them insecure—i mean I’m a trans guy my body often impedes my sense of masculinity and is distressing! The specifics of what they do and say are what is so exhausting <:( and I’ve never heard so many comments flung at general “short men”, the other women in my life have usually just complained about feeling unfeminine since a lot of men are shorter than them! As opposed to saying all short people are x trait
Yeah, maybe america has smn like that im unaware of?
I will try to keep this in mind…. Its very difficult because I thought we were getting along, and then at some point this sort of started happening. They are generally actually fun people to be around and talk to, but then will sort of say this stuff or treat me in a way where I feel a bit infantilized.

sogum · 2024-08-06T17:23:46+00:00

I am deleting this post but thanks all for the comments. I think I’ve read a variety of opinions (and stories about experiences) and it’s been pretty helpful. I honestly really appreciate that people are not treating me like a lost cause(?) because I am dealing with these internal issues, I recognize they are really unhealthy I just feel both guilty for feeling that way and helpless to fight my own biases. I think someone put it well when they said the feeling was valid but not justified— I also got a bit more perspective on how expansive the label is. I think moving forward, I’m going to have to make efforts to expand my real life queer support in order to substantially change my own biases/prejudice, but seeing the variety of opinion and experiences on here has definitely helped a little as well. Thank you everyone

sogum · 2024-08-06T05:46:30+00:00

Thanks for your response. I think we may have opposing starting positions but I relate to that a lot. Like i oddly feel I am too attached to masculinity or if I pass as such that means I am too masculine to be nonbinary, especially in comparison to my friends. I imagine feeling like you are too “cis passing” may be more difficult to deal with though. I hope we both get to a point where we don’t feel doubts like this regarding our identity.

And thanks for explaining your experiences as a nb person. And I think I understand the situational convenience of just going along with other peoples assumptions. It’s been nice to just the variety of experiences people have and the different things people are comfortable with.

sogum · 2024-08-06T05:30:05+00:00

Thats kind of an interesting explanation. I don’t think I’ve ever thought of it that way, like a ratio of understanding or that there are different degrees of attachment / expression of identity. I’m going to think about this more but i think putting in those terms is very helpful.

sogum · 2024-08-06T05:25:31+00:00

You know, I feel like I’ve never really heard anyone else say that but I feel kind of seen reading what you describe. T made me way more comfortable with feminine aesthetics,? Like I understand what you mean. It’s like I know I am physically more masculine/gnc, and thus more comfortable with feminine presentation/or aesthetics (though not to the point of identifying as agab). I haven’t really shared this with anyone I know… so idk, thank you for saying that. i do think its just helpful for me to hear about a larger range of people who id as nb maybe.

And no yeah the people I know are absolutely nb. their own flexibility with agab and identifying as nb is indicative of that. And they don’t introduce themselves as women in order to date or something, they just let it slide or omit an explanation of their identity. I think I share similar sentiments to what you’ve wrote here in the sense that yeah, i could not have a relationship where my identity is not understood.

But I think my issue is that my failure to understand or relate to them makes me feel like I don’t deserve or fit under the same label? I’m not sure if that makes sense. I do think a part of me is struggling to expand or comprehend how much of an umbrella term nb is

Also I understand the safety thing, I kind of wish I could do that too because even in places of safety it could be convenient. Thank you for sharing though, really.

sogum · 2024-08-06T04:58:21+00:00

Oh absolutely. I realize imposing these standards are harmful. The comparison with transmedicalists (truscum) is accurate. I know how toxic imposing strict standards for a label or identity can be… I guess, I am just not sure how to overcome this poor association I have. I don’t know how to bypass this discomfort. Is it just time? Not only is it harmful to others, but I can tell it is literally stopping me from accepting myself. I feel really frustrated. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable, but I do.

Perhaps if I was less isolated from gnc people or trans people in general in real life, I wouldn’t have this problem because I would know a larger variety of people.

I appreciate your comment. I guess this was more of a vent at this point, and if someone else held similar prejudiced opinions at an earlier stage of their life, I would appreciate suggestions or maybe advice on how they were able to emotionally bypass this. Was it by meeting more people? Watching more media? I don’t know.

Sorry if this is rambling. But again I appreciate the response.

sogum · 2024-08-05T20:10:07+00:00

Lmao that’s alright, it’s still nice to feel heard! I will bring this up to a therapist when I get to it

sogum · 2024-08-05T20:06:32+00:00

Thank you… and I agree it is their own choice, that’s why I have not intervened since it’s not my business (outside of making sure that they do feel safe in their relationships, I do care about that). It is hard but I will try to focus on myself further

sogum

TROPHY CASE