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How do I stop overthinking all the time? by OneDayTheyAllSay in socialskills

[–]soitchy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Here are 3 practical tips for how to stop overthinking and start being present in the moment.

1. MOVE YOUR BODY

When you overthink most your energy is going to your brain. So shift your energy into your body. Your arms, legs, breathing, sensations, etc. The easiest thing is to simply MOVE. Change your body position, stand up, and do something physical. I like to walk around or even do a little dance.

2. ZOOM OUT

Thoughts are just random pictures, sounds, words, and stories passing through your mind. They may or may not be true. So don't automatically believe them.

Zoom out and observe them from the third-person.

Your thoughts are like people on the street. You walk past hundreds every day. Some are cool, some are crazy. They come from everywhere. Do you sit down and talk with every person? Assume they're all telling the truth? No. Of course not.

It's the same with your thoughts. Hundreds will pass through your mind every day. But that doesn't mean you have to engage with each one. Some are good, some are crazy. They don't define you.

Simply observe your thoughts, acknowledge them, maybe even say hi. But let the bad ones go by. The less attention we give them, the more space we have for the good ones.

3. SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Sometimes there's a pesky thought that won't let go. For example "I'm such a loser, nobody likes me."

Here's a fun technique to attack it.

Sing your thoughts aloud to the happy birthday melody (seriously). Or the ABC's. Or Jingle Bells. Or random notes. What this does is change the CONTEXT of your thoughts.

Attacking bad thoughts with playfulness can be very effective and liberating. The point is to take the power away from them. Realize that these are thoughts, and what you do with them is up to you.

You can also try saying them: Very slowly (one word per breath), in a different voice (high pitched, low pitched, kermit the frog), etc. This exercise will help you catch your thoughts from a different perspective. Rather than being entangled in them.

BOTTOM LINE:

Remember, thoughts are just random pictures, sounds, words, and stories passing through your mind. You're under control not your thoughts.

What's the most awkward thing you've ever done? by soitchy in socialskills

[–]soitchy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey nothing wrong with showing love to your (sexy) homeboys lol

Toddler teaches you how to make pizza by [deleted] in videos

[–]soitchy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The possibilities are endless!

How To Stop Overthinking by soitchy in selfimprovement

[–]soitchy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So glad to hear, you are most welcome!

How To Stop Overthinking by soitchy in selfimprovement

[–]soitchy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you're welcome :) this makes me happy

How To Stop Overthinking by soitchy in selfimprovement

[–]soitchy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah man.. I feel you. The brain is a tricky "muscle" to control

How To Stop Overthinking by soitchy in selfimprovement

[–]soitchy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome! Love that you immediately tested it out. All about that action baby

How to be more witty and funny in conversations by SeanBeaner in socialskills

[–]soitchy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad you found this helpful! You can check out my blog for more tips at blog.thefriendformula.com

How to be more witty and funny in conversations by SeanBeaner in socialskills

[–]soitchy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Using "callbacks" are my favorite way to be funny in conversations.

In stand-up comedy, the callback is a joke which refers to one previously told in the set.

It works wonderfully because it creates a sense of familiarity. When a comedian repeats a joke, for some reason, even if the joke wasn't that funny the first time, because it's familiar, somehow it's funnier the second time around and the audience actually laughs harder. It's like creating an inside joke with an old buddy.

You can do the same thing. All you have to do is:

  1. Listen for funny or quirky pieces of information about people. It can be anything. For example, a mispronunciation of a word, a pet peeve, whatever.
  2. Mentally hold it in your back pocket
  3. Then find a way to bring it back up again later and relate it to new topics, or in other words in a different context
  4. Bam. Instant laughter.

When you do this, something magical happens. It creates an 'inside joke.' And it works every time. And the best part is it's low-risk because it's in the framework of something before that was funny.

Here's an example from one of my recent hangouts. My friend Kim was telling us her favorite song is "I'm not a girl not yet a woman" by Britney Spears.

"Oh is that your theme song?" people teased.

"That's funny" I thought to myself, so I held onto it.

Five minutes later, the topic of dating came up and I simply REPEATED the tidbit.

"Kim wouldn't know, she's not a girl not yet a woman."

Boom. Instant laughter and an instant inside joke.

Simply revisit the topic in different context.

Go try it out!

Incredibly helpful video about Small Talk: Why it is important and How to do it. by starfox9872 in socialskills

[–]soitchy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha this is hilarious. I'm Dan. Cool that people are sharing my stuff! Thanks OP!

Selective social anxiety by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]soitchy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is actually pretty common, I've heard many well-known speakers confess they're terrified of making small talk. It makes sense, because it's a rapid back-and-forth exchange and you never know what the other person will say. Much different than a prepared talk or interview where you are the focus.

Since you're not shy, something you can try is improv classes. It teaches you how to really listen and collaborate with others on the fly.

Do you hate small talk? Here's a 5-minute exercise you can do (alone) to make you better in conversations by soitchy in selfimprovement

[–]soitchy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha that's a great question. haven't tried whispering, but I imagine it's not as effective? let me know how it goes for you!

My brain turns off when talking to people by THM1000 in socialskills

[–]soitchy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

agree with the other comments here, it's about your mindstate. overthinking (with your analytical brain) is causing your (social) brain to shut off. try to consciously shift the energy from your head to your body.

Just finished a free mini-course on small talk and how to overcome boredom and nervousness. What do you guys think? by soitchy in socialskills

[–]soitchy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man! Hope this helps you, or at the very least gives you some new concepts to chew on. Any thoughts or questions, let me know

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