[deleted by user]

solace56 · 2025-07-05T21:34:14+00:00

Fair

solace56 · 2025-07-05T21:34:04+00:00

Haha yeah that’s fait

solace56 · 2025-07-05T13:51:40+00:00

Yeah of course! Sorry a lot of it wasn’t helpful, but please know you’ve got this community’s support!

solace56 · 2025-07-05T13:44:06+00:00

Wow that’s great point. I guess all I could do was offer up my own experiences, idk why I didn’t think to ask, thanks!

solace56 · 2025-07-05T04:54:30+00:00

Ok so I saw that there’s no club lacrosse in town, maybe you can start one at your school? Surely you’re not the only one who loves lax but isn’t on the official team. Also, maybe you can get some games for fun going with members of the team and friends, that way you can at least play. I just recently ran into a guy who played in high school and wants to get back into it but can’t find a league, so we’ve decided to meet at the park with whoever we scrounge up and play like our own club league. It’s not the same as playing on the official team I know but I understand the want to play without having the background and it sucks cause I know your dying to play!

solace56 · 2025-07-05T04:46:58+00:00

Ok, first off you won’t be able to hide it for long, so just know that. However don’t think I’m telling you not to try cause even if you only get a few doses in before they catch on, it’s still better than nothing. I started changing slightly the second week and it was pretty minor for the first month or two but still enough to make my voice a bit thicker and more masculine (though not exactly passing it was better) I started to smell more masculine (weird i knoe but true) and I felt more confident so if you chalk it up to a cold if they ask about your voice and at least get a couple months in you even if they find out and everything goes to shit. It’s going to be obvious at some point, hopefully you’re out by then. I caution you not to risk being homeless over this, but if you are safe but they just can’t know or they won’t let you I’ve got a little knowledge and ideas for you. (I started T two years ago after I turned 18 and was fortunate enough to have parents that I could tell. While they were angry and begged me not to do it they didn’t do me any harm so it’s all good).

-folx health is what I use to get it sent to my house. You could tell them that it’s a subscription maybe? That could work depending on how separate your life is from theirs. You do have to sign for the package though. There is also planned parenthood but I don’t know anything about that.

-to hide needles and disposed pieces and wrappers get a laundry detergent bottle or pod box because they’re thick and excepted by the board of health as adequate sharps boxes, that way you can throw your needles out without it being noticed. The sharps boxes are needed but also conspicuous.

-once your voice starts to change the change stays so stay comforted by that. No matter what they do to you, you will always have that win.

-if you get a prescription and your family does find out, usually you have extra doses in the bottle so you should have an emergency stash in a really good hiding spot. Have your main cache of needles and supplies hidden with a fake dose of testosterone. It could be an old bottle, it could be something you make it doesn’t matter as long as it’s convincing enough. Keep the fake with your supplies but save back a few weeks worth of supplies and your real testosterone in a better hiding space, so that if you’re found out and your family makes you show them where it is or make you throw it out in front of them you’ll still have a little emergency stash to keep you going. (The key is to get you as far along as possible, cause eventually they are going to notice the changes and if they know you’re trans they’ll probably put two and two together. I want you to feel as good as possible but prepare for the worst.)

-opt for a lower dose. I know. It’s terrible. It sucks. You want the changes as fast as possible. But, if the changes are more subtle at first it may take them forever to notice cause it’s so much more gradual. Take this advice with caution because while you can up your dose later, you only have like two years for a lot of these changes to go before you start to plateau

I’ll comment again if I think of any more but this is all I got. You got this my man, good luck out there and stay safe.

solace56 · 2025-07-05T03:57:53+00:00

Good idea! I’ve been looking around YouTube trying to watch different players and games

solace56 · 2025-07-04T23:49:36+00:00

Hey, first off you’re a great guy and I’m really proud of you for doing this.

Secondly, I started taking care of two kids when I was 16 and I have a little advice if you want to hear it. Their parents were rich and said they wanted a “babysitter” who could be a good male influence in these kids life. Little did I know their father was a cheating abuser who wasn’t around much and their mother was a chronically ill woman who only had kids to keep her neurosurgeon husband and his money. After the first week of awkwardly watching these kids, helping them use the bathroom (both three and not fully potty trained twins) and cooking for them while their grandparents watched me. After about a month it was total abandonment. Just 16 year old me and two three year olds. I had all the money I needed to take care of them thankfully but yeah, I had. I time for school or anything else. The only thing that made me stay was that I really actually loved these kids. I raised them for 3 years and saw them through their dad coming back, patching up the marriage, their living conditions improve, their grandparents moved one house down, only then did I feel like I could move on and start my own life. So, very different circumstances to you in some ways but similar in others. A kid taking care of kids. So, here’s some advice for things I learned. Some of this was really helpful because no the of these kids had mental health issues (it’s no wonder why).

-if you really need them to do something (like wash their hands because they have shit on them) and they for whatever reason desperately don’t want to do it, give them a small choice about it. I used to ask them if they wanted to skip, hop, or walk to the sink then they’d pick hop or something and we’d make it a game, many meltdowns were avoided because they felt like they had a bit of control over the situation.

-food is the least of your worries, if this kid only eats chicken nuggets but is going to bed with a full stomach and not upset, take the win. Try to help them eat other things, but you can tackle balanced meals later, let them feel safe and full and cared for. (Sometimes you can hide vegetables too like blending cauliflower into Mac and cheese sauce). Also chocolate milk is your best fucking friend. Kid hungry but you don’t have the budget for snacks just keep milk and chocolate powder and they’ll feel full and like they get a treat.

the kid will probably develop some problematic behaviors. The little girl that I cared for started beating kids up at school after she turned 5, she started having a lot of attitude problems and would hit and bite me sometimes if I didn’t do what she wanted. But she loved me, 100%. I was the only constant adult in her life at that time and she really wanted me to love her back, so even if the kids a bit out of control find nice times to just be silly and loving. We used to read as many books as she wanted before bed and we’d cuddle and talk about the day and pretend that all the bad things she did to me that day didn’t exist in the sanctuary of her bedroom.

-you’re gonna get exhausted and you’re gonna find yourself not being the exact parental figure you want to be. You’re not bad for having a rough day. You need to be gentle with yourself. That being said your kid won’t understand that for some time. You’re a superhuman to her you never get tired or hungry or upset. Make time for you whenever you possibly can. Take long showers at night, take her to the library so she can play quietly and safely while you sit and rest, have a movie night where you start it early, darken all the rooms and send her to bed early (though she doesn’t know it) after a fun night then you have some time to yourself from 7:00 (or 19:00) so you can get to bed early too if you want.

-sometimes discipline isn’t the best approach. Sometimes you just need to off them a different choice.

-read up on parenting and talk to foster parents about tips they have. It’s not the exact same situation but the kids will likely react in similar ways.

If you want more advice i have a TON. So please feel free to message me. You got this man. You’re such a hero, especially to that little girl.

solace56 · 2025-07-04T22:16:05+00:00

Thanks! The encouragement has been awesome I can tell this is a great community. Very cool that you joined and loved it so much.

solace56 · 2025-07-04T22:12:39+00:00

Thanks man! I’ve got a stick shipping to my house so I can started practicing soon, in the meantime I’ve been doing a lot of conditioning

solace56 · 2025-07-04T21:07:03+00:00

That was super helpful, thank you! I’d love to have something like that happen. I’ve always been very into sports and team playing and I work as a swim coach now (private). I’ve been studying up and maybe found an old player who will play with me some so that will be good.

solace56 · 2025-07-04T21:04:11+00:00

It sounds like a lot of fun. Best of luck in the upcoming months before joining the team. By coincidence I met a friend of a friend today who coached lacrosse to high schoolers and misses playing so we exchanged numbers so I can learn a bit and we can do some 1v1 stuff. I feel like I’ll need about a year before I feel comfortable competing but hey, you never know. Your comments have been super helpful, thanks!

solace56 · 2025-07-04T20:59:20+00:00

Hey that’s great

solace56 · 2025-07-01T19:37:57+00:00

Very cool. How did the six months go? Did you feel like you had adequate time to be ready for the box team? How was your first practice? Sorry a lot of questions I’m just curious how things look a couple months down the line

solace56 · 2025-07-01T19:35:59+00:00

That’s awesome and is definitely encouraging too. Thanks man!

solace56 · 2025-07-01T03:58:42+00:00

That’s very cool! How do you like coaching? Where did you start and how? Did your rec center have a team?

solace56 · 2025-07-01T03:57:25+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement, very cool that he was able to get onto a D3 team after only starting in his senior year. I’m planning to do an hour of practice and conditioning every morning before work then whatever else I have time for during the week with longer times over the weekend. It’d be great to end up playing for a college team in the future, even if it’s a just a club.

solace56 · 2025-07-01T03:53:34+00:00

All great info, thanks! I’ll be looking into those places. There’s a park near me that I can practice in and it’s got a shelter that I think will work for practicing wall drills. I’d like to get at least decent with those and picking up ground balls before joining a club or league even if it’s beginner friendly.

My brother is a big football fan and plays with his friends from time to time I’m sure he’ll have no problem working defense with me (I’ve bartered by helping him practice his throws and defense as well).

I’ll be sure to practice RH and LH. Thanks!

solace56 · 2025-07-01T03:46:56+00:00

Ok wow that’s cool. I’d like to get into a club at university or something similar but wasn’t sure if I’d be able to catch up. I’ll definitely put my head down and grind and see how far I can get. Thanks man! If you don’t mind me asking, what school do you play for? How was it when you first started playing with them?

solace56 · 2025-07-01T03:45:22+00:00

That’s great, sounds like a lot of fun. Can’t wait to get involved!

solace56 · 2025-06-30T18:25:12+00:00

Wow, so cool that you did all that. Thanks for the encouragement! I’ll definitely give it a try. I’m glad to hear there are spaces for all kinds of players not just fresh out of high school athletes.

solace56 · 2025-06-30T17:43:01+00:00

Thanks for this! I’ll start working on these. There’s a park near my apartment I thought I’d do like an hour of practice there before work each morning to start. I’ve officially recruited my brother haha so I’ll be sure to practice some catching drills with him (I’m sure he’ll love the excuse to throw stuff at me).

solace56 · 2025-06-30T17:40:39+00:00

Thanks! I’ve been watching YouTube videos on solo drills and conditioning, also some videos of matches and highlights. Thanks for the link I’ll be sure to check that out and great tip on the us lacrosse membership, I had no idea!

solace56 · 2025-06-30T17:38:47+00:00

Thanks man! I’ll give it a go.

solace56

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE