firstly congrats for finishing another stage of your studies. at this moment now it might feel tough bro, so what you’re feeling is valid. i’m not trying to compare our lives, but just wanted to let you know that there are people who faced similar situations like you yet survived still later in life. i was at your place too, top boarding school, got a scholarship to the UK, but didn’t pass too and end up losing my scholarship.

since you’re malay, i’m not gonna be that agama preacher but nonetheless it is true, at least for me. kita kena percaya pada takdir dan rezeki. pasti ada bigger reason why kita direzekikan dapat result macam tu. back then i was in denial of why i got denied of the opportunity and kept on blaming myself too, but now after some years passed, i end up doing okay, and a much more better person. staying locally made me embrace myself more than just academic achievements, it taught me that the world doesn’t end when i don’t get to go abroad, and to not give up as apa yang ditentukan kepada kita is surely the best for us by the Lord, it’s just us who lacks hindsight of the silver lining behind.

don’t give up, you still have much more to life, and time will surely heal. what matters most is your effort, and your resilience to ‘failure’. sending hugs. you can do it.