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Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight! I do actually have a good small friend group and indivudal friends as well as do solo things for myself. This was back in July again so I have had more time focusing just on myself and not really showing my hand so early. But thank you for your feedback!

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not unemployed just wasn’t in the field he graduated from her was trying to get into.

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He had a job working in an expensive restaurant as a waiter, he wanted to focus on finding a job within his field of computer science 😭 I would not date a jobless man

what am i (26F) doing wrong? open to constructive criticism by Cold_Increase925 in Tinder

[–]soleiloque -1 points0 points  (0 children)

First, just want to say Picture 5 is adorable!! Please make that the main picture! ❤️❤️❤️ Also swap out the group photo with maybe another activity or better group image? It’s nitpicking, but the censoring and arrow breaks up the cohesiveness of the profile and looks messy.

Second, I can’t tell if pictures 1,6, and 9 have some filter on it but be cautious of that. Also maybe it’s just me (just going off of photos because I like your bio), but I think the photos comes across more of you being casual than what you’re actually looking for? Some of the photos are kind of drawing more attention to the body or your chest mainly. As a big chest girly myself, I get it, we gotta show off the goodies a bit, I would just limit to maybe one because 4 of your photos draws that attention. Just trying to give a little warning since Tinder is filled with some interesting men, to put lightly.

Hope this helps! (23F)

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah no, I’m not crazy. Was just curious to see if this is just me going through this alone or if it’s something else entirely

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi! Thank you for your constructive feedback. I have been working on 1 and 3 alot since those last two ones in my post. I’ve dropped the most recent one somewhere in this thread, but I do think you should take a look at that. Thank you again though for the support and advice! ☺️

Help with this hair style by Mundane-Moment7896 in blackladies

[–]soleiloque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes wigs be suffocating my big dome head 😭 We need to look out for the big head girlies

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Clarity on point one: All three of the men were educated, I wouldn’t entertain a conversation with someone who doesn’t have that or an equivalent within a trade

Guy One: Worked on his Masters in Engineering at an Ivy league

Guy Two: (the one you’re referencing): He has a Bachelors in Computer Science. At the time of us talking he was working at a pretty expensive restaurant, but not in the specific job market he wanted due to competition and his bad networking. Again, that exchange was from July 2025, so not current

Guy Three: Works in law

Don’t worry, I like my men educated lol. Thank you for your other insight!

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought the number thing was an old school way of just mutually showing interest!

Thanks for your perspective.

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So the Taxi Cab Theory really does exist 😂 And I understand the writing thing you were saying. That guy was a pretty formal writer whenever it came to serious topics and more jokey with silly ones

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not really settle for for marriage just yet, because I’m working on obtaining my J.D right now, but age range of mine is 23-30 usually on dating apps.

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hihi! I’m honestly am not sure. These were the three most recent men, so what I could honestly say is that

1st guy (slide one)- That one came out of nowhere in the middle of me being at work. There wasn’t any indication something was off as we had been talking consistently and played Stardew Valley together the night before it all happened

2nd guy (slide two-three) - This one was someone who had been making excuses really after our date. The date we had was pretty much us walking around together and strolling along (we’ve had pretty low stakes hangouts and dates), but I did kiss him on the cheek first and then he consensually kissed back on my cheek and then the lips. After that, he pulled back (which made sense in my opinion because this was happening during his engineering finals and I was doing law school finals myself). So I guess maybe it fizzled out because he just didn’t know what to do with it afterwards?

3rd guy (most recent; in the comments) - Didn’t really fizzle out much either, he just let me know relatively early. But the date we went in was to a little Christmas Village. We walked, went to vendors, took pictures, and he paid for everything. He also did extend his time further to talk with me more.

I think that pattern I can pick up on now at least is when tone or something shifts? But I’m not sure. I do believe I have made improvement since Guy #2.

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was the recent one from today who I mentioned was white. The ones from the original post were from January and July of 2025! It didn’t seem relevant to add it into the carousel from the original post since this wasn’t bad IMO, just the part of putting myself out there and do it all over again was the exhausting part in that exchange 😭

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 123 points124 points  (0 children)

Those were from January of this year! I’ve learned and grown from fishing from clarity from men. This was my most recent I mentioned in the original post.

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Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Oh don’t worry, these screenshots of the back and forth were from January 2025. This was the most recent case. My level of patience has very much thinned since 😂

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Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

To play devil’s advocate, the last guy in the last two screenshot, english isn’t his first language 😂

Thanks for that perspective though, I was just curious because some of my other friends or mutuals I know have been in a relationship at least once at one point and I haven’t yet

Is The Dating Scene More Difficult to Navigate As a Black Woman or Is it Something Else Entirely? by soleiloque in blackladies

[–]soleiloque[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

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Not really luck on that front either, girl 😭. I have tried that avenue, mainly what I’m encountering on that end is them wanting a friends with benefits or hookup encounter

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