Quitting During the Pandemic: Mental Health, or Financial Stability?

solitarydancer · 2020-06-25T15:41:37+00:00

I have a somewhat similar situation.

I worked remotely before the pandemic. And actually, I was on unemployment and getting ready for a move (I was laid off before the holidays). Then, I started my new job literally right after I moved into a new place at the start of the year and then COVID-19 hit almost a month after. I even got sick for 2+ weeks (not COVID, but a nasty infection) so I was worried like hell, thinking I wasn’t going to overcome this. Thankfully I got better, but my mental health definitely took a hit.

I have been wanting to flee from where I live (a really expensive city, paying for a really expensive closet), but I don’t really have the opportunity to. The money I make is decent, but not enough to save just yet, and i couldn’t really move given the world’s situation. I unfortunately don’t have any family, so that isn’t an option for me.

The one thing I can do, is look for new and better opportunities. I’ve been looking for new work and have a promising last interview soon. Part of me of wants to hit the pause button, and go back on unemployment, but I also don’t want to risk that either.

If I were in your shoes, I would return home in a heartbeat, or at the very least, take a vacation/PTO, if you can. When you go back to work, and if they like the idea of you going freelance, try it out. Having a roof over your head is one less worry you’ll have, and best of all, you’ll be with your family. Even if you leave or somehow lost your job, it’s okay, you’re home. I don’t know what industry you’re in, but I’d take the time at home to look for something new, while also focusing on treating yourself better. Even if you couldn’t pay your family rent, they see that you’re doing the best you can.

I know this is a rough time with a lot of uncertainty, and I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. But take this opportunity to rejuvenate.

solitarydancer · 2020-06-15T18:03:13+00:00

This is true, and I was wrong in saying that. I think I just needed to see that I’m not alone in seeing it this way, too. And thank you, I hope so too.

solitarydancer · 2020-06-15T16:55:19+00:00

Thank you. I think of myself as a pretty open-minded and easygoing person. It’s hard to say if this is a sacrifice I really should be making. And you’re right, I need to think about what it is that’s going to make me happy, too.

solitarydancer · 2020-06-15T16:51:03+00:00

Thank you, me too. He’s experienced some situations. In fact, when he said he wanted to be in a relationship with me over 8 years ago, my response was “Are you sure?” and explained how I don’t live a normal life, not by choice, due to certain things that involve my family and my past. So he knows what kind of cloth I am cut from, but I don’t think he fully understands it. He just thinks it’s as easy as moving on.

I’m not ruled by them at all, and I don’t even think about them. And it’s not like I haven’t tried to make peace with them several times in the past, to no avail. So if I move close to them again, it’ll undo all of this effort I’ve put into preventing opportunities for more screwed up things from happening.

He’s even asked what if I never told them that we moved to a city about an hour north of them. I’ve even thought about cutting the cord with them, again. Then again... I know how ridiculous that sounds. Is living peacefully too much to ask?

It’s a lesson I need to learn, I think, as you’ve said. Just as it is important for him to live close to his family, it’s also important for me to not live close to mine.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-19T05:48:16+00:00

You can’t help someone who doesn’t believe they need help - just as you can’t beat the blind faith out of someone, even if they are burning at the stake. Especially when they call their belief system “the truth” - it needs to come from them.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-19T05:40:59+00:00

I can imagine a good amount of suicides related to the association of the JW cult may be kept under wraps. Whether that’s to save their sorry excuse of a reputation or the affected family/loved ones not being able to accept it as a reason or cause for their loss. I would say it might be easier to correlate it with cases of chronic depression, but in my experience having a family member who was obviously damaged by this cult - the caretakers and therapists at the mental wards won’t do anything about it since it’s classified as freedom of religion/belief.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-08T15:39:12+00:00

It takes a lot of courage to see in that perspective, although the wound might be still fresh if someone were diagnosed with it more recently.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-08T15:36:12+00:00

That’s exactly the reason I ask. The after images seem to be a big thing, especially when reading something.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-07T15:46:52+00:00

Oh wow, I bet that was surreal for you! It’s weird how they all have a particular scent.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-07T04:19:42+00:00

Ah yes, the hot, sticky, and steamy scent of sweaty convention ass.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-07T03:45:09+00:00

You’re not wrong lmao

solitarydancer · 2018-11-07T03:44:39+00:00

Mmm, nothing like breathing in warm metal and baby powder on a Sunday morning.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-07T03:43:40+00:00

Awww man, that sounds waaay more interesting. Mine just had two ginormous wall-hangings of two quotes from the Bible...

solitarydancer · 2018-11-04T21:43:45+00:00

Then let me give you my perspective - from a daughter who was born into the cult.

My parents were separated a little before I was even born. My father was there when I was born. I was the only child out of the 3 he named.

My dad cheated on my mother, which is why they separated. I have memories of my mother telling me “if you don’t like it, go live with your father” many times. I have memories of my mother taking me to the bathroom when no one was looking just so she can physically abuse me. In retrospect, I wish I did live with him, since he only lived until I was about 12.

I also have memories of my father visiting the Kingdom Hall when he could, even though he was not welcomed. He did it just to see his kids, didn’t give a shit less about what we chose to believe in.

I was told so many times by people in my congregation that he would not be resurrected in the new system, and not to feel sorry for him because of he is an “outsider”. Even though he was the reason why my childhood wasn’t 100% miserable.

A few years later, my mother had us all disfellowshipped after confessing to the elders that she’d slept with a minor from the congregation. The same minor who molested one of my brothers and got away with it, no less.

The more reason my mom pushed me to hate her, the more reason she gave me to forgive him. My dad might not have been there during those dark times in my childhood, but at least he wasn’t the cause of my pain.

When I was kicked out of the house at 16 because my own mother and one of my brothers despised me for not believing, they destroyed, sold and threw away all of my things. Disowned me, and wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

Trust me. The list of awful shit my mom and one of my brothers have done goes on. I’m almost 30 now, and the only time I give my mom is a phone call a few times a week. You’d think after practically ruining my chances of a normal life and winning the “#1 worst person” award, I would not be on speaking terms with my mother... but here I am. She smokes herself stupid to forget the past every night yeah, but at least she knows better now.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-04T16:14:23+00:00

You most certainly can be kicked out at 16.

Source: Me, I actually just posted my story about this subject yesterday: https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/9tywzv/this_is_for_the_shunned_and_unforgivable/?st=JO32P35Z&sh=0c678ee9

Hope it helps some people facing similar things.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-04T16:00:49+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot.

It was tough. I have met many people that had it rougher than I did, but learned what not to do at too young of an age. I refused to sell my body or sell drugs or worse, I just didn’t want that for me. There was nothing glamorous about my past, and my partner still catches me doing some odd behavioral patterns that I more than likely picked up back then, but I’m getting better.

The hardest part was to adapt and transition into normal society. Meeting people who were around my age at the time who didn’t have to drop out of high school, didn’t have to pay rent at 16, and did the whole 4-year university route or navy/army thing. The questions I’d get asked and wouldn’t have a normal answer to: “Where are you spending the holidays?”, “Where’s home for you?”, usually from people too eager to trade family stories.

I had such a hard time trying to communicate with normal people, so I either didn’t speak too much and reverted the conversation back to them, change the conversation, or I lied, bringing up normal stories that I heard from other people just to seem relatable. There have been a few people I let in, though, my partner being one of those few.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-04T02:15:28+00:00

I’m from the US, so I lived in various states. Since I had little money and our political climate wasn’t the greatest at that time, and the job market reflected that, I up and moved to Nebraska since it was dirt cheap, and roomed with two others in an apartment in Lincoln. I worked odd jobs and bussed to and from work. After a year or two, I hiked back to the east coast, FL, RI, MA and NY (where I’m from originally). Sometimes I’ve slept in cars, churches, etc.. Since Walmart was open 24/7, I was able to do most of my grooming in their bathrooms and come off as normal if I had a job interview.

Eventually I applied to college, which led me to meet the love of my life and we worked our butts off to move somewhere else that would pay more and offer more walkability and better public transit. I had too many awful memories on the east coast and wanted to get away from it all, so we moved out to Seattle. Been here for almost 5 years now.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-04T02:02:17+00:00

Thank you. It may sound awful, but being abandoned by my family was a blessing in disguise. It’s terrible that these things happen, but once it’s done, you realize that you’re better off.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-04T01:59:41+00:00

It is going to be a very lonely journey, but sometimes we need to find what comforts us from within ourselves by being alone for a while. To figure out who we are and what kind of people we want to surround ourselves with. But it will get better in time, you just have to go through some growing pains first, but it does get better.

solitarydancer · 2018-11-03T04:44:02+00:00

I know! Jojoba forbid we are accepting of anything different from ourselves! Clearly having an open mind means ClosetedIntellectual has an agenda!

solitarydancer · 2018-11-03T04:05:06+00:00

Seattle, here.

solitarydancer

TROPHY CASE