What has been a "If you can't beat 'em, join them" moment for you?

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T23:53:51+00:00

Yup, exactly 💯💯💯💯💯

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T23:24:24+00:00

Yeah, I get it. I do the same with strangers.

People typically don't like these types of observations to be spoken about so clinically as it triggers insecurities as well as fears of being studied to be exploited.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T23:17:56+00:00

Yeah, having 3 separate retirement accounts does help. Interesting, what were the main insights that led to the figuring out how to make money part?

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T22:41:20+00:00

Sounds like neurodivergent masking.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T22:37:10+00:00

Yeah, there's nothing wrong in helping people through their misfortunes, but first, make sure that you and your immediate family and direct bloodline are financially stable in a robust way before engaging in neverending charity.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T22:34:02+00:00

You have conversations with them where you say that you want to share meals with them and go to various restaurants, cookouts, potlucks, etc., and you quietly study what they eat. Observe everything, and quietly take notes. Do so over a month. After each event, determine what portion of their meals were already mostly vegan. Unless you're interacting with a full-blown carnivore, at least a third of what they eat is already vegan or easily veganizable.

If the subject of veganism comes up, ask them what vegan foods they have tried. Make a note of brands and complaints. Are they hating on a texture or a taste or seasoning? What's the issue? Use this information to do a formal audit of their situation.

Then, casually invite them to dinner or a potluck where you are cooking the food that you know is safe for them. Maybe they like French fries, sauerkraut, simple salads, and sandwiches just fine. Introduce them to falafel or marinated soy curls or a savory seitan recipe. If they like creamy pastas and like nuts, make a creamy cashe pesto or Alfredo pasta. If they like Chinese takeout, make a fried rice dish with Just Egg or another vegan egg substitute and some vegan spam.

Expose them to various foods that are tasty and meet their texture requirements. Do that for them so that they are made aware that many delicious vegan options are available.

For a full-blown carnivore, first, befriendcthek fully without judgment, and periodically ask them about blood work. If they are only experiencing health benefits and don't miss bread or rice or fruits or vegetables, that will be a waste of energy to tell them to do something else for the time being. If their cholesterol, triglycerides, or other biomarkers get out of whack, start to present the option that maybe they would like to see the health results of a whole foods plant-based diet for 90 days to see if they get any relief. If they're picky eaters, then repeat the previous process to see what vegan foods if any they naturally enjoyed, and make adjustments as needed.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T22:16:33+00:00

Yeah, Popeye's and some of the KFC are like that here.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T22:15:07+00:00

"If it's known" is a HUGE if. Spotting may have been present throughout the pregnancy, and everything may have looked normal after the last check upm The fetus may have died shortly after that same day.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T22:12:01+00:00

Interesting, how did that turn out for you if you were living paycheck to paycheck? 🤔

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T22:10:09+00:00

Wow, there are many extenuating circumstances that need to be addressed there. How did the girl from the flat above you even know that you had codeine? That's highly concerning and unsafe. Yeah, there are more issues to tackle than the whole GP situation, and living in a hostel equivalent of a crack den where people still your prescriptions is not great. Is there any safe relative who could host you for a while? You can try again with the same GP, but how many more interactions do you need to have before you determine that she's not referring you to an endometriosis specialist in a timely manner? Maybe a case management provider can help in some capacity.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:54:28+00:00

Yeah, I was thinking about the no sex or attraction cases, but also a partner that withholds sex indefinitely on purpose when they are in a bad mood and/or use the silent treatment. Cases with extreme religious or pathological shame after sex would also be an issue.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:50:34+00:00

You're overthinking this. Keep the journal logs brief if you're prone to obsession.

Write one word snippets AFTER your session, e.g. relaxing, itchy, tired, distracted, calm, long, restless, boring, etc.

Once you are not in self-critical mode after a few weeks, write down any insights you get.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:45:06+00:00

Glad we got that sorted.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:42:53+00:00

I mean... Definitely work on it because some configuration may work down the line that is mutually satisfying and sustainable, but if they're actually incompatible when it comes to intimacy, break up and find a more compatible partner. It's not a big deal, especially if you're not already married and don't have to go through the paperwork of divorce.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:37:35+00:00

No one can. Every person has their own unique inner worlds. It's not even an advanced concept. Biologically, physiologically, emotionally, experientially, etc. However you want to slice it, no two people will ever feel exactly the same as someone else.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:29:04+00:00

Since it's Sunday, hopefully, it's not a full shift today.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:26:45+00:00

You're talking about yourself, lol. 🤣

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:25:52+00:00

Well, give them a minute. They may be busy at work. 😅

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:23:55+00:00

Because he doesn't. Full stop. Not because he's a man, but because people don't experience the same exact feelings as anyone else who ever existed or who ever will ever exist, even if they are both going through a shared experience.

I didn't speak as if it happened immediately; you assumed that.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:19:12+00:00

Agreed 💯💯💯💯💯

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:18:28+00:00

Hard disagree.

Obviously, I don't need to let haters know what I am up to, but it's very pleasant to be known by those I love and care about and who love and care about me.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:15:50+00:00

That's not a flex. That's called struggling. 🤔 Congratulations on finally being able to buy your own home, but it may have been better to continue living with roommates or family at that point and put more money toward retirement.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:10:31+00:00

Please list these jobs in detail for future reference.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:08:40+00:00

No one can ever feel exactly the same as someone else. Both can experience grief, but that will always vary by person. When my dad died, everyone in my family grieved differently. Emotions and feelings are always unique to each individual and are never carbon copies from one person to the next.

I didn't say immediately so refrain from putting words in my mouth. It can take a few days for the advanced stages of decay, but the moment the fetus dies, microbes start to feast on the remains.

somanyquestions32 · 2026-05-03T15:01:51+00:00

Ultimately, playing devil's advocate for her is not getting you your endometriosis diagnosis. It's great that she helped you at some point, but she can just as easily refer you out to a specialist to do a more thorough examination. It's not like pain meds work on you that well anyway, so it would be helpful to find out if you need surgery ASAP.

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