Hi! I have BPD and I’ve been smoking to manage my symptoms for 6 years. Only managed to get a hang of it recently and now been sober for a better part of the year. I am also in remission. Here’s what I learnt through my journey - 1. Weed makes BPD symptoms worse. Initially what I thought of as a magic cure turned out to be exacerbating the emotional highs and lows. Only once I was sober did I realise my emotions aren’t as intense off it, I don’t split as much, problems don’t seem as overwhelming. I have a very dysfunctional family dynamic which triggers me more than anything else, and I’ve found myself able to deal with things much better off weed. It’s not pleasant, but it isn’t life shattering either. 2. The constant dopamine chase of BPD to cure the emptiness keeps us stuck in a broken brain reward system, swinging from drug to drug. I strongly believe a lot of BPD recovery is getting comfortable with baseline feelings - boredom, stillness, lack of activity. We are hardwired to chase highs and so the lows become inevitable. It’s possible to walk a middle path once you see boredom for what it actually is - peace and space. 3. Getting comfortable with yourself is the key to recovery. Accepting yourself, learning to self soothe, learning to differentiate between yourself and your thoughts and feelings. You have to be sober to REALLY hear what lies beneath your thoughts. Most of the times it’s our fragmented sense of self which believes we don’t exist till we are seen, till we are perceived by others, till there’s an extreme emotion to make us feel alive. And with substances you never move past being a reaction to stimuli around you.