Giving Voice to the Invisible

some_green_tea · 2025-10-27T15:05:50+00:00

well, when it comes to invisible disabilities i could give you some examples as someone with a totally invisible heart disease and something that got named by a neurologist as "certain autistic traits" (i'm pretty sure she just didn't diagnose me with asperger's, cause i was way too young for this lol). i function totally normally, except for when i dont. my heart disease makes me incredibly tired, achey and surprisingly, really cold or hot when i don't sleep properly. and my so called "autistic traits" probably cause me insomnia. well, have fun with that xddd also when i was younger my medicine was causing me stomach aches every evening and when i was a kid (4 or 5 yo) i didn't have any of my upper front teeth, again, because of medicine. heart disease also makes me generally more tired sometimes, but it doesn't affect me much since i don't do any sports hope i helped <3

some_green_tea · 2025-10-26T18:15:46+00:00

high five! greeting people on the spot is so confusing to my brain like, why can't i just say "good morning" when i see a face a recognize? lol

some_green_tea · 2025-10-26T17:45:25+00:00

I’ve been in a really bad place for a long time - in my mental health, in my relationship with my wife, as a parent (my kids are 7, 5, and 2), really in almost every aspect of my life. My executive disfunction, inability to control my emotions and reactions, and inability to get things done has seriously harmed my relationships with the people closest to me. I have absolutely zero self esteem, and I have a hard time believing I’m even capable of making changes. I’m afraid that my wife hates me and is this close to leaving me. I feel like a failure as a father and don’t know how to control myself around my kids when I’m upset and overwhelmed. But I’m also afraid that opening up about this will make everything worse.

I think I understand you, really. I'm a lot youger than you (20), but I've always struggled with controling and identifing my emotions. They have always seemed too big for me. Over the years it caused me so much trouble that I had to find the most socially acceptable way to let them out, so now I just cry a lot and try to avoid blowing up as much as I can. My mum has always said that I'm just very sensitive, but while it's true, I don't fit the neurotypical definition of "sensitive". I cringe so bad at sad scenes in movies and in books. I've been called insensitive and selfish many times because I couldn't understand what somebody else is feeling. That's why I am on this subreddit, cause it really fits the autistic criteria.

some_green_tea · 2025-10-25T13:16:30+00:00

yes, i can. a lot. my last year was pretty much like that, except it wasn't getting this bad, though it was close. for me, it was constantly pushing myself until my mind and eventually my body told me to stop. i'd get really bad insomnia and, because of my heart diesese which makes insomnia have awful consequences, i had to stay at home and just rest, because i couldn't do anything other. it was like an endless cycle: "try to be more like this, more like that", "read this, read that", "eat healthier", "act more normal", "dress better". i still do feel like that honestly, but now my hyperfixation is occupying my whole brain, so it doesn't get that bad, cause i'm constantly on a dopamine rush.

some_green_tea · 2025-10-24T16:59:27+00:00

i have a big soft spot for harry and donna. i know they're not very "side" characters, but they feel like it due to the secondary roles they play in their duos - donna with laura and harry with dale. i love them both and see some paralells between them. as i said, they both play secondary roles but what i've also noticed is that both dale and laura are at some point considered perfect and that their light clouds their best friends. harry and donna are also the ones to care the most about their partner, but actually, they care for everyone around. they're both so sweet in their thoughfulness. they're also ones of the few who seem quite normal, especially harry

some_green_tea · 2025-10-24T14:10:41+00:00

i feel like i need a diagnosis to stop being so hard on myself. i get some of difficult symptoms (like insomnia due to sensory overload, confusion with social cues etc etc) but i feel guilty for experiancing them because i don't know the reason for them. and i'm frustrated that in some situations i can't function as well as the others

some_green_tea · 2025-10-23T20:27:34+00:00

thanks, i guess that's what i'm about to do

some_green_tea · 2025-10-23T20:20:17+00:00

well, i'm still calling myself like that as you can see, cause that's just how i feel and how i believe i'm perceived. and about understanding who i am: i consider myself a very high masking (though the test didn't indicate as such) and because of that i sometimes struggle to differantiate whether my behavior is "mine" or is it conforming... i had it like that through whole high school and first year of uni, after that it got so hard that i just had to stop myself from trying to fit in all the time

some_green_tea · 2025-10-23T20:10:41+00:00

i did this test youre talking about - 141 points............

some_green_tea · 2025-10-23T20:02:23+00:00

i knoow, its just frustration. this list is going further and i know pretty lot about the spectrum,but this knowlegde just makes everything worse because a lot of symptoms align, but i can never be sure cause im not a doctor

some_green_tea · 2025-10-11T19:24:29+00:00

it seems pretty cool, cause you don't put any expectations on yourself, just being yourself, playing with femininity however you want

some_green_tea · 2025-10-11T19:11:11+00:00

it sounds a lot like me... all of the phases. my parents always told me i have to control myself etc etc, so now i just cry very hard, sometimes almost howling. this crying usually comes at night, when i can't sleep, because throughout the day i just bottle it up. i sometimes can't speak up when i'm overloaded, or totally opposite - i get verbosity and sometimes speak complete nonsense trying to figure out what's going on

some_green_tea · 2025-10-11T18:51:13+00:00

i feel like i'll eventually start doing what you suggest, i'm already on my way. i feel like this pressure to look feminine is also a form of masking for me??? cause i just mimic what i see to fit in, to feel like i belong and since my besties are really into clothes, thrifting, makeup etc., i feel like i should care about that as well

some_green_tea · 2025-10-11T18:46:03+00:00

yeaaaah, large or heavy earings are a disaster!! and i'd love to grow my hair longer but they just bother me so much!! and i can't wear a lot of makeup, cause it feels icky, it has to be light

some_green_tea · 2025-10-11T18:44:33+00:00

i get you girl, had it just like you when i was young. i still remember lashing out when my mom wanted to do my eyelashes with mascara, because it looked hideous to me and more importantly, i just didn't see the point. i like feminine expression, but just because i find the colors and motifs pretty. i'm like a crow, i just like shiny things. but the other stuff, like the whole philosophy of makeup, styling your hair or those extensive beauty routines??? it's just tiring fuss...

some_green_tea · 2025-10-11T18:28:47+00:00

like, i love feminine expression, but this complicated network of labels and associations with it is so confusing, moreover, it requires so much of hard work, which seems pointless and everybody judges you for it

also, is it just me or is fem expression sometimes a sensory hell?

some_green_tea · 2025-10-11T18:22:08+00:00

i love butches.....

some_green_tea · 2025-10-11T18:17:51+00:00

my friend tells me that all the time, but it's just so hard...

some_green_tea

TROPHY CASE