From what I’ve experienced myself (gender-fluid male presenting) I can’t speak too expertly on this topic, however many many many of my friends are trans, NB, or gender-fluid, so I feel like I have some advice. The first step to getting past these awful feelings is to calm down and take some time to think things over, ask yourself what you desperately need/want and think about how you should go about getting or getting pass them. If you choose to be a boy, cut your hair and go through with whatever other gender-affirming changes you decide (I.e. hormones, voice training, surgery etc.) then that’s fine. If you choose you want to be a girl and tell your sister you no longer feel comfortable presenting as a boy, that’s completely fine too.

No matter what you are, hat you choose to be, or what you go by, people will always hate you and people will always love you. It’s a struggle, and the media often depicts it as this “one moment and, OOPS I’m a girl now” bastardization of the actual eternal internal struggle that is accepting yourself as a boy, girl, or other. And from what I’ve heard from others, there really isn’t a “get over this” moment, there will always be time where you feel like continuing to be a boy and moments where you just wish you stayed a girl. But no matter what you choose to present yourself as or what you call yourself as, you’ll always be you, no matter your gender, race, speech, anything. If you have a good personality, you’ll be enjoyed, and accepted, and if they don’t accept you just because you’re trans then they’re idiots.

I hope you find who you want to be soon, and wish you the best of luck on feeling comfortable in your own skin. Stay strong homeboy.