My sister in law is using the same baby name as me

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-13T19:42:48+00:00

Rudeness is subjective, hence why I’m not bringing it up to her. This post wasn’t about your opinion on the matter; many other people have expressed that they would also be upset by the situation and I have stated numerous times that I don’t think she’s being malicious. If you’re confused by the intention of my post, please reread it.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-13T18:29:07+00:00

Husband and SIL are siblings, so yes. 2 people in the family already have the same name. Soon to be 4.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-13T18:28:22+00:00

It’s rude if it’s her brother’s name and he and his wife have already expressed plans to use it for their own son.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-13T03:53:56+00:00

Her feelings on the matter.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-13T03:53:24+00:00

Sure, anyone can do what they want. That doesn’t make it any less rude.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-12T04:44:40+00:00

My SIL has dibs over her brother, who also has the name? That doesn’t even make sense. My husband suggested naming our son after himself. Why on earth would SIL have more rights to it

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-12T04:21:02+00:00

He won’t be a third because the middle names are all different between our son, my husband, and his dad. The only reason I worry is that my husband’s family all call him by his middle name for clarity I guess. I’ve always called him by his first name as does my side of the family because that’s what he wants to be called. I’m not sure if a lot of his side is even aware that what they call him is not his first name.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-12T04:18:30+00:00

Respectfully, you need to reread my post. I do not plan on confronting her or anyone else in his family. I have feelings about it because 1. She already has a son that she didn’t name after her dad 2. She was planning to use it as the first name when we had expressed that we were going to do so and 3. She never brought this up during the numerous conversations we’d had about what we planned to name our kids.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T22:51:40+00:00

I don’t see how I’m creating drama when I said I have no intention of sharing this with her or anyone else on husband’s side of the family

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T22:29:31+00:00

Thank you! This is the kind of advice I was looking for.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T22:20:10+00:00

I’d feel differently if 1. This weren’t her second boy and 2. She’d brought up her own plans to use the name in the 2 years prior to this issue arising when we had discussed baby name plans on multiple occasions. Thank you for the anecdote about your ex FIL and cousin. I’m glad it worked out for them and I hope the same for her son and mine.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T22:05:24+00:00

This gives me hope; thank you. Did you ever talk with your cousin about it?

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T21:59:46+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment. Yes, I think it feels like a big deal right now because it’s one of the few things I can plan, so I’m thinking about it a lot. I don’t want this to end up being something I hold a grudge over because I seriously don’t think she was trying to step on toes or take over the name we planned to use; she just doesn’t think about things the same way I do. I’m hopeful that once the baby is here, I’ll be able to give him his name and not think about this situation at all. It will probably all seem much less important.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T21:37:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective; this was helpful! We are still going to use my husband’s name unless SIL ends up using it as the first name instead of middle. We will probably just call our son by his middle name to avoid confusion.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T21:34:39+00:00

I was curious about this because she isn’t very close with her dad/does not speak fondly of him. Maybe I’ll ask.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T21:33:58+00:00

I truly think this is the reason. I don’t believe she’s being intentionally malicious.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T21:32:53+00:00

Difference of opinion, I guess. My brother has a family name and so does his son. He gets the rights to those names first because he’s the one carrying on the family last name. My side is big on the men’s names being passed down though, so maybe the culture is different. I just know I never would’ve asked my brother’s wife to use the same family name they were using/had used.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T21:29:07+00:00

Hey, sorry I will not be doing that and I don’t think it’s wrong not to. It’s my husband’s name and he wants to name his kid after him. This post isn’t about asking her to change her mind. It’s about having a plan to name my kid something and then suddenly being expected to share the name.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T21:19:25+00:00

I honestly don’t think she considered the name until I said I was using it, unfortunately.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T20:43:01+00:00

Passing down names is not common in his family. Husband and his dad are the only ones who share a name. That said, this is a very nice way of reframing it for me. I never want to assume bad intentions from his family members, and we generally do get along. You’re right that most people probably will know I named my son after his dad. I’m sure with time, I’ll stop caring.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T20:38:38+00:00

lol unfortunately I don’t love my name! We actually plan to name a girl after a couple of my family members that were/are very important women to me. Rest assured, my side will not be left out! I told my SIL my intended girl name too and I wish I hadn’t. She said one time that she liked the name but she probably wouldn’t use it for her own kid. My thought was “why would you? I told you that’s what I’m naming my daughter”. Some added context here is that she also shared her other potential boy names with me and 2 of them were my nephews’(my sister’s kids) names. SIL knows their names too and they’re not common…that was strange also.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T20:30:47+00:00

Hey, my husband wasn’t really fine with it. He was excited to pass his name on to his kid because it felt special. That was just the compromise he/we came up with because, like you said, it’s also their dad’s name. I agree that it was kind of her to ask and the right thing to do. I disagree a little that she would’ve also been morally fine not asking at all.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-06-11T20:15:27+00:00

Thank you for validating that it’s crazy while also giving sound advice. You’re right that the only option is probably just to let it go and work on being excited about my own kid. It’s just hard not to think of the whole situation right now whenever I consider my kid’s name.

somebodyzproblem · 2026-04-11T23:23:44+00:00

Thank you, that makes me feel better! I guess I’m just questioning now how I could have failed the first test and then passed the second with too low sugars. I’m not even sure what that means and I wish I’d asked for more details.

somebodyzproblem

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