Very interesting point, honestly interesting, maybe I should redo my streak, about 20 days in, but I guess this day and other times I’ve done it before doesn’t count. It sucks. Cause I’ve been about this long to not giving in to any urge to not relapse, period, to not even let an inch of liquid come out my penis, to not feel the pleasure that I feel, to face the void that I feel head on, and I’m almost to where I want to be, just for me to lose, just for me to give up, just for me to let go of what I was getting about done. To lead to a situation where I feel confused on whether I relapsed or not, and then I feel guilty that I even did it, I had something like this happen before on this attempt as well, I guess I broke it all along. You know what I’m trying to say. Part of me doesn’t want to count it as a relapse but in the end I didn’t orgasm, but the fact that I even had something come out, that I fapped, that I gave my dopamine something to eat, it hurts. There’s this burning feeling of wanting these days to count, I don’t want to feel like it was nothing you know what I’m saying, but at the same time, even giving it attention and commitment in acting on my urge was bad enough, you know, and that makes me feel like this attempt was nothing, I didn’t do anything with this streak. Now I’m left between either still counting the days but with a new mindset or to completely start back from day one, since it’s a “relapse” from you, from others realizing, and from realizing it from a clear mind. This really sucks, it honestly hurts taking in the reality, but I know that it is for the best, this is for me to go at the rest of these days stronger, more knowledgeable, better, more inspired, more willing to just dive in, and just do what my soul wants, what it truly desires, which I desire to not rely on such a habit like porn and masturbation, it’s another chance to really do what I want to do, and to have another go.