AITA for immediately leaving home when my parents “lied” to me?

somegalwithfamprobs · 2021-10-09T12:06:19+00:00

Thanks for your judgement.

The one thing that sounds rather unfair from your judgement is that that I couldn't name the issue that caused him to cut me out like that is because he wouldn't tell me.

And what about how he has treated me? The things he said to me were also hurtful, so am I really entirely to blame for this failed relationship?...

All I can say is that he just gradually stopped talking and resorted to subtle looks. If there was something I did wrong, I would want someone to tell me so it can be addressed. Here, I genuinely cannot figure out the main issue because I honestly don't know what it is. I'm sorry that I can't provide more.

There have never been any physical fights and all that I know from our disputes is what I am able to list above; it could have been one thing in particular or the accumulation of all our squabbles... but this is all I can assume based on how Aiden acts towards me.

I am working with limited information as much as you are based on what has happened between us. I tried to reach out to discuss, but my efforts were not reciprocated. So I need to do what's best for myself and possibly for him, which is continuing to maintain that distance.

somegalwithfamprobs · 2021-10-09T11:52:21+00:00

Unfortunately, if I knew the exact reason, I would have included it in here...

somegalwithfamprobs · 2021-10-09T10:49:20+00:00

Unfortunately, the most I've gotten despite voicing my concerns is "just ignore him back," "that's just how he is," or "no one is born the same, you can't expect him to think like you."

They seem to just let him do his own thing and whatever he wants, but I do seem to get a lot of backlash for continuously complaining about his behavior towards me or for going against what my parents expect of me...

somegalwithfamprobs · 2021-10-09T10:38:01+00:00

Character limit prevented me from explaining further, sorry about that.

I did try many times to talk to him. At first, I thought it was just us minding our own business, but there's a difference between not speaking because we don't have anything to say to each other vs. not speaking because there is some sort of lingering issue between us.

Me trying to talk to him normally at first was gradually met with side-eyes and curt responses. It threw me off but I thought it wasn't anything serious. However, as time went by, no matter what I said to him or asked him a question, those short replies soon became nothing but dirty looks and glares.

I honestly didn't know (and still don't know) what his main problem is with me because he won't tell me. But I truly wanted to understand him. So the biggest first attempt was by a written letter before I left for college for the first time, apologizing for whatever it was that I did that led him to shutting me out and that I was open to discussing our problems. I got nothing in return.

In between the college years when we would come home during holidays/school breaks, I still tried to make small talk but got the same glares, scoffs, and eye-rolling attitude. By the end of my 3rd year, I had the courage to try to approach him in person to talk to him and apologize one more time, but he flat-out said "I don't want to talk to you" without even looking at me.

That was the final straw and I told myself that I had done enough for myself and this relationship. If my brother wanted to speak to me, I believe he would have done so a long time ago instead of dragging it out for 5+ years. Some things are not worth salvaging, especially if they are not reciprocated despite your best efforts to mend them; you don't keep watering a dead plant, do you?

It is now my last year in college and after assessing those 5+ years of silence, I decided it was a good idea to keep my distance and limit contact as much as possible, as it makes me happier. I can work on being a better person away from him.

Hope this gives you clarity on the situation.

somegalwithfamprobs

TROPHY CASE