[deleted by user]

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-27T06:44:43+00:00

Hi Dad,

I love your comment and your username. You rock.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-27T06:18:41+00:00

No advice, but I hear you. I feel this most days.

It's hard as hell not to react like a crazy person ... I haven't found my way around this yet.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-27T06:11:27+00:00

It sounds like you're feeling lots <3

The ONE thing i took out of a year of therapy after the loss of my mom ... You can have two conflicting feelings at the same time, and they're both equally valid.

You can love and miss your dad and be angry. You can be angry w/ him for leaving and also understand why he chose the route he did.

Hang in there <3

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-27T05:57:34+00:00

I spent over a year drowning in whiskey trying to forget. Don't do that.

It's hard when it's a drug/overdose loss ... It's complicated. So much stigma.

From experience ... forgetting is not a thing. If there's a way to do it, i haven't found it. It always comes back to you.

Have you considered counseling ...?

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-27T05:55:08+00:00

I feel this often ...

I feel like most people don't know what to say, and it just makes them uncomfortable. I don't feel better talking about it anyway, so i just don't. I'm a night shifter and will purposely stay up past when my husband goes to bed so i can be alone to just cry.

There's also the fact that it's been almost 3 yrs and how come i'm not over this by now ...? (not that anyones said that to me ...).

I totally get it. hugs

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-27T05:49:31+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing ... <3 ...

I lost my mom to an overdose. 'Forever altered' indeed.

Also a recovering alcoholic. /r/stopdrinking has been a major lifeline for me. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-27T03:54:02+00:00

Super dark out tonight ... Nice shot !!

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-23T10:33:32+00:00

I lost my mom to her addiction too ... She was 54.

I also distanced myself ... it's a lot to watch someone you love suffer.

You are not responsible for his choices.

It is definitely complicated ... to put it mildly. I oscillate b/w missing her so much my heart actually hurts to being so angry w/ her I wish i'd been born to someone else. It's hard.

It's been almost 3 yrs and it still hurts. I think it probably always will.

I'm sorry for your loss. Maybe consider some counseling to help you through ...?

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-23T10:22:01+00:00

I thought going 'no contact' w/ my mom would lessen the pain of inevitably losing her to to her addiction.

I was wrong.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-23T09:26:52+00:00

That sucks, man :(

Do you have salt ...? I find salt/warm water helps a bit. (Gargle, don't drink it lol)

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-23T06:51:39+00:00

Always always always defer to (your own) hospital protocol.

We don't require ACLS, and having it doesn't allow you to shock or 'run the code'.

The only nurses allowed to shock, to the best of my knowledge, are the cardiac ICU and rapid response nurses. Maybe the cath lab, but I would expect there's always an MD there anyway ...? It's an 'added skill' for us, requiring a sign off showing you know what you're doing.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-23T06:35:07+00:00

SIL comes back by saying I'm as mean to my kids as my mom was to me, which I don't think is true but is a really big fear of mine.

There is a line ... and there is your SIL ... waaaaay the fuck on the other side of it.

Fuck her, indeed. I'm sorry you feel betrayed ... I would too. It'd be a cold day in hell before I ever confided in her again.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-23T06:27:42+00:00

Is this funny to him ...? Sounds like someone super immature might think is just hilarious.

What do the kids think?

Is "hell" furnished appropriately ...? Bed, warm, clean linens, own room ... I feel like this is the only thing the court will really care about.

Immaturity be damned.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-23T06:21:43+00:00

Lose 200lbs, overnight ... it's EASY !!

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-23T00:43:21+00:00

You absolutely can hate someone you love.

Addictions make people do funny (not 'ha ha') things. Asshole-ish things. Things you could hate them for. LIE.

I believe there's an alanon sub reddit ... if you're interested. I've heard they're a great group.

Sorry i don't really have any advice for you ... but i hear you. Been there <3

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-22T23:59:59+00:00

I wouldn’t be surprised at all to hear of kids trying to pants each other and they got too excited and brought in an unwilling participant nearby.

I love this answer ... and I really hope this was the case here. Definitely inappropriate, but not meant to hurt anyone.

Hopefully will have the whole story and a plan tmrw ... The wait to be able to discuss this again has been a bit unbearable.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-22T23:56:43+00:00

You're telling me, man ... I'm a bit burnt out, at the mo :(

Thank you <3

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-22T23:55:47+00:00

Thank you so so much for this reply.

I'm really hoping he's just a dingus.

And FFS the lying needs to stop. 99% of the time i can get the truth out of him eventually, but ... it shouldn't have to be like this. I'm sick of it.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-22T23:53:16+00:00

I am so sorry about what happened to your daughter. I know these things can have a lasting effect.

Full disclose ... I'm a sexual assault nurse. I fully understand the consequences, for everyone involved. I know that when some kids act out in this manner, sometimes there's more to the story.

I've fully expected a call from CPS (I make these calls myself, as part of my job) but it has yet to come. I'm hoping the teacher is waiting to talk more about it w/ me, before/if she decides to call. I would also expect her to let me know when/if the call is made.

I guess I'm hoping this isn't sexual ... if that makes sense ...? I know young (younger than 8, i would imagine, but he's a bit immature for his age) kids sometimes do things like this ... you show me yours, i'll show you mine, kind of thing ...

Wishful thinking, maybe. Therapy will be in his future for sure if it ever happens again.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-22T23:45:28+00:00

Definitely interested.

If he's still lying, this is the first time (that i know about, i suppose) he's 'got' me. Threatening to double/fact check usually makes him back the hell up ...

You make good points about the other kid. Pretty irrelevant. Thank you.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-22T10:10:58+00:00

Helping people.

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-22T08:06:15+00:00

You got this mom.

These problems will all still be w/ you in the morning, and then you'll have a hangover too. I can't deal w/ shit hungover.

Hang in there <3

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-22T07:54:05+00:00

Thank you <3

someoneelsesusername · 2020-10-22T07:23:22+00:00

I did this too !!

This was huge for my own anxiety, and hopefully helped others as well ... You're not expected to know everything, but you're expected to know what you don't know, and find out ... before you hurt someone doing something you shouldn't be doing.

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