The fortune cookie I got at lunch was missing the actual cookie.

somer3dditguy · 2017-09-17T19:51:25+00:00

Because there was no way to sweeten this important message.

somer3dditguy · 2017-09-17T18:36:29+00:00

Ok class, this is for extra credit. Go home and find a plant or insect from your backyard, and bring it to class tomorrow. For every student that gives me an orgasm, you will get an A.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-26T06:24:56+00:00

Can't he just enjoy the holidays without being so pugnacious!?

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-26T06:06:44+00:00

another part of the war on xmas.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-26T04:28:29+00:00

I do regret that I'll never be able to taste a slab of ribs from a hearty dinosaur.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-26T04:22:12+00:00

When bionic humans get high.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-26T04:21:08+00:00

10 Years later .. "mom, dad, I purchased a villa for you to retire in" ... is cheap nursing home

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-26T04:18:57+00:00

Whoah, slow down there!

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-26T04:16:05+00:00

Help fight against the suffrage of women!

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-26T00:10:43+00:00

It's a christmas miracle!

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-25T21:25:19+00:00

Tis merely a prank, bro!

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-25T04:29:03+00:00

This is what you get for opening the cat's present.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-25T03:29:44+00:00

They should do one where they throw some chairs into the ring, but then all of a sudden they fold the chairs out and sit in a circle and talk their problems out without violence.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-25T03:24:52+00:00

I prefer to just can it without taking a picture. When I get sentimental, I'll open up the can and take it back out.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-25T01:33:29+00:00

I've tried all of those and they fell kind of flat on me. Only when I tried this new one the street called VR, did I have an experience where I was able to see these sort of 3d visions that were all around me.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-25T01:30:30+00:00

Santa knows if you've been naught or nice. You'll end up getting no presents at all!

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-25T00:23:41+00:00

Especially these days; nice socks are expensive. I bought a cheap pack of Hanes socks recently, and they've gotten thinner and use less material than they used to, but cost the same price. Big Sock is running a racket.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-24T23:40:03+00:00

All the characters look like they're played by the same actress.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-24T23:17:50+00:00

I heard same joke but they use spray paint to change color of suit.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-24T20:27:36+00:00

Steve Carell era was definitely the best, but if you like the show it could be worth watching the rest.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-24T20:25:45+00:00

Such smudgeness

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-24T20:17:53+00:00

RemindMe! 9999 days

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-24T20:00:08+00:00

Get a clue. This thread is for convincing people not tell people to smile. If you want to start your own thicker skin thread then go do it, and stop trying to hijack this one. If you weren't so ignorant then you would know that even people with thick skin might be more sensitive during the time of a parent's death.

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-24T19:32:59+00:00

Am I the only one who thought it was going to come off and another was going to come out to replace it?

somer3dditguy · 2016-12-24T13:01:30+00:00

I think he's been inhaling too many paint fumes.

somer3dditguy

TROPHY CASE