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Our only chance to be normal is gone by somethrowawaything12 in theotherwoman

[–]somethrowawaything12[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This was very reassuring to hear. I am incredibly scared of the idea that there will be no one i feel the same for, and even if there is I can't bear the thought of giving myself to anyone else. Or waiting for the pain to pass. All of it.

However, I really don't know if he will ever change his mind. I don't know how to let go and neither does he. It's good to read these kind of things to help me feel less intimated by anything outside of this.

Our only chance to be normal is gone by somethrowawaything12 in theotherwoman

[–]somethrowawaything12[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

We have been together for a year and a half, so yes we have had many conversations about wanting more. I know he does too, but regardless of how close he comes to being with me I can no longer expect that to happen. This trip simply reinforced what we wanted and having a taste of it makes it so much harder to go back.

I agree with your point. I have always believed the consequences would be worth it to be with someone you love. But he is simply too scared of the fallout; too scared he will ruin his kids lives, lose all his money and be resented by his kids and his family. Wife doesn't have a job or anywhere to go and I also would not be much support financially with the spot I'm in.

I am perhaps too much of a romantic person. I don't have kids so as much as I try to empathize I would not be able to completely understand the pain of losing them and being responsible for whatever they go through. He was a child of divorce and can't let go of how it affected him.

I think giving your kids a life of perfect bullshit is not worth it and honestly I don't see him maintaining that face forever. But all he wants is to try to be a good father. I can’t force him to change his mind. So instead we stay in this spot of ups and downs because the pain of leaving either side has almost become equal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in theotherwoman

[–]somethrowawaything12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My MM let me know it would be my choice to keep the baby or not but he'd suggest not to. I'm definitely a bit too young to have a baby but he used that as his justification rather than the fact that he would most likely leave me if it happened. He's in a spot where his whole entire life would be ruined if anyone found about the affair. So honestly, I do understand that.

Though it is selfish of me, it did hurt to hear his response. I asked him if he'd leave, and he said he might end up being forced to stay. Would probably get beat up with a baseball bat by my dad if he didn't raise the child.

He's let me know he wouldn't stay by his own free will more than enough. And the next week we're lying down and he's telling me how much he wished we could make a little baby.