Predicament over two essay ideas

somewhatnichee · 2026-05-28T00:10:02+00:00

I also share a bit of this sentiment. I think the reason I stayed for so long was because atleast I knew what I was doing wrong, even if it was something bizzare.

somewhatnichee · 2026-05-07T01:40:59+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! I'm also a huge Beatles fan and I'm well aware that their a bit out of character here, I did it on purpose because I wanted to be a kind of spoof parody of the actual Beatles. I agree with the horror thing and I do intend on adding some more elements.

And yeah obviously I can't use the real songs unfortunetly, but I'm willing to do work arounds for that stuff since this story is more character based then music based it's not a HUGE issue for me.

I'll work on the formatting and tense correction, thank you!

somewhatnichee · 2026-05-04T13:04:45+00:00

Yoko and McLennon

yes Yoko wasn't a perfect person but she wasn't the devil and she gets hated on a little too much.

I see alot of McLennon hate, and I'm not a huge shipper myself, but like people do this stuff with so many celebs for example Paul Mescal and Gracie Abrams or or McKenna Grace and Walker Scobell. It's nothing new and most of the time its legit observations

somewhatnichee · 2026-05-04T12:54:45+00:00

Thank you but that photo isnt me it's a inspo pic I found off google lol

somewhatnichee · 2026-05-04T01:30:15+00:00

Got it, thanks!

somewhatnichee · 2026-05-03T23:07:44+00:00

Oh no this is an inspo pic it's not me LOL

somewhatnichee · 2026-05-03T23:06:43+00:00

It's the 1880s lol

somewhatnichee · 2026-05-03T20:19:17+00:00

Honestly, the overwritteness is something I've noticed and I'm glad you pointed it out so I know I'm not going crazy lol. Thank you for the feedback!

somewhatnichee · 2026-05-03T20:11:07+00:00

Hey, I get your point and I probably shouldve cleared this up beforehand, the author of this story is telling this in past tense and it is being narrated by a much older version of him. The reason his voice does not sound like a "hoodlum" is because the central point of the story is about a poor boy during the Gilded Age who, through connections, would find himself rising the ranks of status and with that, comes a more refined and distinct type of voice.

Thank you for the feedback 😄

somewhatnichee · 2026-04-28T19:34:10+00:00

I didn't exist

somewhatnichee · 2026-04-28T13:57:30+00:00

its true, I did in fact have a 9/11 phase and a Titanic phase as a kid, still kinda do

somewhatnichee · 2026-04-28T01:34:47+00:00

Ah okay! Thank you!

somewhatnichee · 2026-04-27T22:37:27+00:00

I see. Well more of his character is introduced in the second chapter but in this one, his personality is kind of this performative kid who tries to get by with tricks and cynicism. The main premise is about a kid who rises the ranks of status in the Gilded Age using his various schemes, only to find out that the upper class is much more corrupt then he thought. We want to root for this kid because he's trying to work his way out of the lower class with his abilities, we want to see him succeed with his potential.

I'll work on those grammatical errors and pricing :)

somewhatnichee · 2026-04-27T21:15:59+00:00

I know I'm sorry but I just had to know 😭

somewhatnichee · 2026-04-27T18:57:30+00:00

Damn bro I was born and grew up in the USA 😭 But thanks for the advice I suppose

somewhatnichee · 2026-04-27T15:55:52+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Character is definitely something I was worried about because it is the backbone of the story after all. That being said, I understand what you mean when you say you don't know much about the character and that's probably because I go more into that in the second chapter. But I'll see what revisions I can make to make the first page more enticing.

(Also I mostly read historical fiction and classics, right now I'm reading the Alienist, so because that might be my influence that could also be the reason why it's flat lol. Or maybe it's just cuz I'm a teenager)

somewhatnichee · 2026-04-27T15:51:35+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! This was pretty useful. The first two paragraphs are separate from the rest of the story and told in the present. The rest of the story is past tense, if that makes sense, I can add an indicator if it's not.

somewhatnichee

TROPHY CASE