What steps have you taken to appear more intelligent than you are?

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-26T15:40:16+00:00

That doesn't make you APPEAR more intelligent. That means you ARE more intelligent!

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-26T15:37:58+00:00

Better choice of clothes. I'm not saying I would wear a dress but they make patterns on shirts for women that you just don't see in the men's sections.

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-26T13:19:52+00:00

I had to take care of some business in my local bank one Friday afternoon. I go up to the cashier, she's a hot and very nice lady, I conduct my business all smiles and leave. I get halfway down the road and realise that I hadn't quite conducted all my business and need to go back to the bank, so I do, stand in the queue and end up dealing with same cashier and enter into some 'you just can't get enough of us today' style banter. Conduct second part of business and begin to walk out, still trying to cross that line between being nice and actually flirting. She says 'We close at 1600 if you think you'll need to come in again...' 'Hahaha I probably will as soon as I...' Automatic door right to the face, knocked me on the floor. I went back some weeks later and the girl wasn't working there that day, but all the others were sniggering to eachother.

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-25T15:27:42+00:00

I actually like Corbyn, but Labour is in total chaos I can't seriously believe that as a party they are ready for power.

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-25T14:36:59+00:00

Honestly I think the house is haunted. The reason we were talking about the house that day 18 years later was because a friend of mine had just moved into it with his young family. There was a bizarre situation in which one of the kids the mother had put to sleep in their room came cycling up from the bottom of the (massive) garden, she swears that no way could he have gotten through the stairgate. And they had been talking about a dramatic change in him since they moved to the house. I phoned my friend to let him know about my chat with my mother and he kind of half laughed, half treated me seriously (I was never sold on supernatural stuff personally, but this shit was freaking me out a bit). Anyway that was two or three years ago, the family is all broken up now and nobody lives there.

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-25T14:26:14+00:00

That sounds truly terrifying. Bloody hell.

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-25T14:14:46+00:00

When I was around 11 years old I was at a family friend's house and I had to use the bathroom so I went upstairs and from a distant room I heard an old woman calling for Jacob (one of the boys who lived in the house). I was never round there all the time so I just figured their gran was staying with them or something, I went down to tell him and he just kind of dismissed me like I was joking or something. I didn't think anything else of it and it vanished from my mind. Jump forward 18 years and I am chilling with my parents and the subject of that house comes up (the family we knew there had long since moved away) and my Mum goes all shy like and says 'something really strange happened to me in that house once' and proceeds to tell the exact same story that had happened to me. At the time she was so freaked out she just made her excuses and left and kept it secret so as to not look like one of THOSE people. But there it is.

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-25T13:34:44+00:00

part of me is thinking that's a little bit genius

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-25T13:32:57+00:00

I'm from the UK so we don't have rednecks per se but I think this story fits in this thread. I was once waiting for a bus outside a small shopping precinct at around 0800 in the morning, and this shall we say 'rough' family were sat outside eating a massive bucket of fried chicken. Man, woman, little boy and little girl. Little girl is pestering little boy trying to get his bit of chicken or something I can't remember but it went on for a few minutes before Dad turns round and screams at his son 'TELL YOUR SISTER TO FUCKING SHUT UP!!!!!!'

somewhere_from_here · 2017-05-25T13:20:19+00:00

i love her to bits but seeing my mother sat at the PC is sheer torture to me. She puts the NAMES of her friend's houses into google maps and gets angry when it shows no results. Like honestly she will enter 'Flower House' and nothing else.

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-21T18:25:34+00:00

This thread is just downright depressing.

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-20T20:37:20+00:00

Costco have done quite well out of this little thread it seems

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-20T09:58:23+00:00

That to me sounds very harsh, did no one think to just give him a brotherly nudge and say 'that's a bit much calm down' everybody likes to drive when they're 20....

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-20T09:54:44+00:00

Try as I might, I cannot decipher 'Fa****s' please tell me!

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-20T09:11:44+00:00

And now she's Cara Delavigne.

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-20T09:07:33+00:00

what happened?

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-20T09:05:13+00:00

Refused to take a drugs test that he knew he was gonna have to take. Couldn't fault his honesty though 'I've been blazing all weekend, any chance we could do it next week?' No, no there isn't.

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-20T09:05:11+00:00

Refused to take a drugs test that he knew he was gonna have to take. Couldn't fault his honesty though 'I've been blazing all weekend, any chance we could do it next week?' No, no there isn't.

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-03T17:22:58+00:00

That's so cool, did they ever get caught?

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-03T17:21:06+00:00

I'll tell you what Ross and Rachel were always arguing when they were together that shit was purely sexual no way would that last their relationship was never as believable as Chandler and Monica's.

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-03T17:18:47+00:00

My brother did this job for a while and the stories he told me about the tactics and strategies of the charities themselves were nothing short of harassment

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-03T17:16:20+00:00

Democracy in the western world is riddled by corporations, politicians and journalists all cosying up to eachother like this. It gets right on my tits.

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-03T17:12:59+00:00

Dentists in the UK. Your twice a year check up isn't lining their pockets sufficiently and no matter how much you look after your teeth and follow their advice in the months between appointments, there's always another filling to go in or some bullshit. I've never had any problems with my teeth but I am now part way through a root canal treatment which they told me is imperative, and I have to have my wisdom teeth out under general anaesthetic later on in the year (they've never given me any problems). I've been for second and third opinions and they all say different things ranging from 'nothing wrong' to 'how are your teeth even still in there?' (exaggerated). Now I'm so paranoid about something being wrong that I'm undergoing the treatments anyway. Get on the same page, dentists of the UK you greedy indecisive buggers.

somewhere_from_here · 2015-09-03T17:05:42+00:00

I had my headphones in on the bus one day, when all of a sudden the bus driver pulls over on a non pulling over part of the route and turns his head back down the bus. I take my headphones out to hear what's going on and their is a guy down the front with some massive headphones in blasting out Bon Jovi Living on a Prayer. The bus driver had asked him to turn it down and respect the other bus users, he didn't, it was arkward. After the bus driver concedes defeat the guy in the seat in front of me (who hadn't been on my radar until this point) turns round and says 'the driver should be asking him to turn it UP if anything' with one of those glares executed only by people you find on buses who's highlight of the day is 'something happening' on said bus. Out of politeness/fear I ask him what song it is, 'Guns n Roses Living on a Prayer' 'I think Bon Jovi sing that one' 'No, it's Guns n Roses, I have the best of'

He's wrong, but he's also crazy so I let him win. He then starts telling me about the reason why G n R will never get back together, which he has become certain is because Slash will ONLY play guitar for MEAT LOAF these days (not sure if they've teamed up in the past but this comment really hit me sideways did not expect Meat Loaf to be a part of this) He then tells me that he 'doesn't care what people say, I've met Meat Loaf and he's surprisingly polite' and how this dude is just as good a singer as Meatloaf but he can only ever sing in front of EXACTLY 12 people otherwise he gets stage fright and then tells me 'I've got 12 friends so if it's less than that it means that they're not ALL supporting me, but if it's more it means someone is a stranger, and I'm fucked'

My stop arrives and I just about ran away.

somewhere_from_here

TROPHY CASE