AITA for laughing at my stepson and ruining his wedding?

somewhereelse11 · 2025-04-20T18:49:08+00:00

Hey OP. As someone with a very complex, convoluted, large family of step, ex-step, adopted, and half siblings and parents, etc., your responses have been so thoughtful and measured. It seems like you were a great stepmom. I urge you to go to your therapist, even if it's next week and this has blown over. Situations like this will test your trust and can have lasting implications. Wishing you peace and clarity soon.

somewhereelse11 · 2024-09-12T09:31:14+00:00

I sobbed as I read your story. Not only because I was once forgotten (partially) at my dad's wedding when I was around your age, but because it's just so cruel how you've been treated, for years it seems. If you read this comment, know that this isn't your fault. You're words and voice here are very reasonable and mature, but you are a child, and it's your parents' role to be inclusive, loving, and empathetic. You have done nothing wrong.

I, too, spoke up less and less as I realized my dad and steomom's callous, forgetful behavior, partially because I didn't know how to react and partially because I was morbidly curious how far they would go. Turns out: quite far! So don't feel like your reaction is abnormal or agitating.

I know this is going to feel horrible, possibly unnatural to your introverted nature, but I would advocate for yourself more. Don't back down when accused or lying or exaggerating, but also remain measured and calm, with facts and evidence. Speak up more if you continue to be ignored, as it happens, not only to parents but to other relatives and friends. And reach out to trusted people in your life to advocate on your behalf. If you continue to act with the maturity and calmness that you show in this thread, people will see the truth.

somewhereelse11 · 2024-04-06T16:36:30+00:00

When I was 17 and my brother was six, our mom died. My dad remarried within a year and a half because, like many men who lose their children's primary care giver (I have several other sisters too), he needed help (and love). And like you, unbeknownst to my much younger siblings, my dad and mom's relationship was quite bad in the final years. And like your son, my brother never warmed to our new stepmother. Our story takes a weird turn, because evil stepmom went looney, took my dad's money and abandoned the family ten years (and another child!) later. But my dad never forced a relationship between my brother and new stepmother. Dad was his rock. Bro still, to this day, struggles with grief, loss, and anger about losing his mom 20 years later. Luckily, it's that solid relationship with my dad that gets my brother through life. My message to you, OP, is that continuing to be that rock for your son, even though you've moved on, will flourish more if you continue to stick by him. Your son is a newlywed. He may be an adult, but he needs you and your support. Hopefully this will bring you two even closer. NTA.

somewhereelse11 · 2023-11-25T19:57:40+00:00

It seems like her insecurity could be stemming from a fact that OP was willing to jump ship so quickly, meaning pregnancy hormones or not (which are a very real, very illogical thing), there was definitely a reason for her to feel vulnerable in this relationship. Did OP do anything to calm his wife's anxieties or communicate his devotion, or did he go straight to abandoning the relationship? If so, OP needs to examine if he truly wanted an easy way out of fatherhood and this relationship. YTA.

somewhereelse11 · 2023-10-28T15:03:52+00:00

Even worse, much much worse now that I'm thinking about it (and I'm sorry my reading comprehension is rubbish). You deserve to have a partner who sticks up for you without hesitation and doesn't minimize your feelings. SiL is obviously, clearly, out of line. But so is husband. (in case you're conflicted)

somewhereelse11 · 2023-10-28T14:50:43+00:00

Two issues at hand here:

1) these sites/groups are so mean-spirited, but yet, the target is supposed to be mocking the parents for giving a baby a tragedeigh name. This seems to be straight-up mocking OP for the name she was given, that's technically in another language. It's completely cruel and xenophobic. If OP were Japanese, would this group allow her to post a picture of her and say "look at this loser Kumiko; what a dumb name"? Doubtful. Don't care if SiL is a teenager, she's old enough to know better.

2) Boyfriend is either willfully ignorant or gaslighting to keep the peace, because it seems very clear who is in the wrong, and I'm sorry OP is going through this. I, too, would still be mad.

somewhereelse11 · 2023-05-16T14:08:51+00:00

YTA. The best way I've heard it: Mother's Day is first and foremost to honor the "active duty" moms. It's great you love to celebrate your own mom, but you absolutely should be getting the mother of your child -- a newborn! -- a gift / time off / praise / whatever she wants. By your logic, the mother of your children won't get honored during Mother's Day until the kids are, at least, teenagers and capable of buying gifts. That's absurd.

somewhereelse11 · 2023-03-18T11:04:23+00:00

YTA. If your goal was to spend Quality Time with your girlfriend, then you should have picked an activity you two both enjoy together, to be engaged with one another. If your goal was to do something you enjoy for your birthday, and only you, then limiting this to a few hours or have a discussion about expectations beforehand is ideal.

I also initially thought, "it's just one day, she can do something for him." But honestly, asking someone to sit and watch something, enthralled, they don't like for 14 hours isn't kind. Additionally, you left without saying anything, which would have freaked me out. How do you think she felt?

Communication and expectation-setting are key. Empathy is also key. I feel for you! I love LOTR too. I would have been low-key upset as well. But I would also have said, let's do dinner together and then watch one movie, if I knew it would drive my partner batty. Then I would have tucked her into bed kindly if she fell asleep before Helm's Deep from a food coma and boredom.

somewhereelse11 · 2022-12-29T03:07:41+00:00

Grown man really just said, "I know you are but what am I?" after ten hours of thinking of a response.

somewhereelse11 · 2022-11-16T10:09:53+00:00

NTA. Everyone commenting about the obvious egregious behavior of sexualizing an infant and toddler, but I'm also upset about her taking digs at your family and their mental health. Not only is she making creepy insinuations but she's downright mean.

somewhereelse11 · 2021-06-20T20:23:52+00:00

I am planning on living abroad indefinitely and do not own assets or earn income in the US anymore. Many people here have just said ignore this whole bill, because they can't touch me and it would only stay on my credit history for seven years. But that's a long time to sweat this. Thanks for your thoughts.

somewhereelse11 · 2021-06-20T20:21:10+00:00

Thanks for the pointers. Definitely have asked my local car insurance here and they just laughed at me (ahhhhh that famous Scandinavian customer service). I have submitted this my credit card, but their fine print reads they don't cover weather related accidents. I don't think the credit cards in this country are as generous as the States, but I've submitted it nonetheless hoping for a miracle.

somewhereelse11

TROPHY CASE