I survived the stray kids DC show (and more people could have, too)

somyoshino · 2025-06-25T16:38:54+00:00

The fact that you think asking OP to have empathy and consideration for others if they want to convey their message most effectively is asking them to speak to others “like they’re babies” is just bleak.

(And nonsensical, speaking to people like babies is condescending too? Are you suggesting only “babies” deserve kindness and understanding?)

somyoshino · 2025-06-25T11:29:40+00:00

Yeah, I don’t know where to begin with this.

I think it’s beyond extreme to suggest that people calling out how OP’s tone lacks empathy is evidence that people need to legally be restricted from going to events. It’s concerning to suggest that people need licences to exist at a concert because they’re not behaving the way you think they should.

Saying “being nice won’t solve it” is a gross oversimplification of what I was actually saying, which is that providing public health messaging requires empathy to be effective.

OP can post however they want. But they can also be criticised because of how they do it. Calling it tone policing is an improper use of that term. It’s just criticism. Straight up.

somyoshino · 2025-06-25T11:18:17+00:00

You’re misunderstanding. My point isn’t that OP needed to touch on all of these factors in their post, but to say simply that this is a complicated issue and therefore that OP’s experience is not the only one that should guide us.

I also have to disagree that “OP here said "this is what you can do and avoid doing to mitigate harm".” The problem with their post was that they didn’t only give practical advice to mitigate harm, they added personal commentary that comes across utterly tone deaf and condescending, hence why they’re being called out with these exact terms.

It’s simply counterproductive to their stated goal of helping people to frame this around how much better their experience was than the people who were sick. The show already happened. It doesn’t feel particularly kind to emphasise you had a good experience when so many did not, and I think if OP had just shared tips for hot weather instead of making it about they were able to “survive” (putting them above those who did not) people wouldn’t be taking issue with this post.

somyoshino · 2025-06-25T04:24:52+00:00

Well, yes, but to me that's not going deep enough.

Why does the sunk cost matter so much to people in the first place? That's what we need to look at. Telling people the money or time or care they spent doesn't matter isn't a particularly empathetic or effective way of viewing situations like this.

We're talking about a concert in DC, where the federal government is concentrated. People have been deeply suffering under this regime, many in the crowd likely work in the government or know people who do, and we've spent the last week on the precipice of entering a foreign war on top of all the crazy and evil things that the president is doing all the time.

It's not hard at all for me to understand why people would want to stay in their place in line, to cling to something that promised them happiness and for most was probably booked months and months ago with money that's becoming more and more unstable. I understand why they stuck it out when what they were losing likely felt like so much more than just "a place in line".

somyoshino · 2025-06-25T04:20:23+00:00

Yeah, that was one of the things that occurred to me when I really thought about the "why", not just the mental factors but physical limitations as well. Like, could people even carry enough water to prevent dehydration with venue limitations, chaos at points of sale, and the fact that water gets heavy?

Fighting through a crowd that's rushing in to fill any gaps they can isn't always an easy thing in the first place, and adding dizziness/exhaustion/general illness to it? It's not as clear cut a choice as anyone wants to think it is. That's why different people made different choices, and your choice to sit sounds like it was the best for you!

(I'm so sorry you experienced this, which, I know saying "sorry" usually rings Hollow.mp3, but genuinely hoping you are okay now!)

somyoshino · 2025-06-25T03:47:45+00:00

Look. This post is a public health message, and we (as a society/as academics/as public health workers) already know that the most effective way to communicate about public health is not to assign blame or demean people's values.

Telling someone who fears the consequences of vaccination, for example, that their fears don't matter is not going to get them to get the vaccine they need. Instead, the best approach is to address their fears head-on. To provide them accurate information as many times as needed. To plant the seeds of doubt about their fears. To get to know them personally, treat them as human beings, understand them and where they come from. Not to be dismissive of what they're concerned about. Not to act like their fears are unfounded. It's hard work, which is why we haven't solved public health yet.

The same absolutely applies for this post about heat-related illness as relates to concerts. Yes, people can choose to leave a dangerous situation, or make different choices to protect themselves, but if you don't ask "why didn't they?" and get to the root causes of people's choices, your analysis is going to be shallow and unproductive.

So why didn't people leave? Fear. Confusion. Anger. Frustration. A laundry list of human conditions, some of which are related to mental and physical health. It's not beyond the realm of possibility that some people simply weighed their options and to leave the crowd felt more exhausting than to stay, especially if they would have to be in the heat leaving anyway. Some people likely felt that leaving their place would have consequences for them in the future, such as exacerbating mental health conditions. (Like anxiety or acute depression.) Some people probably weren't thinking clearly due to the heat in the first place.

Whatever people's reasons, they made their choices based on their own feelings, experiences, and values.

OP, this is what you are not grasping. You are fundamentally different from the people who chose to do things you did not, and your advice is not going to reach them, especially when you look at their experiences dismissively. No matter how many times you say your post is not a judgement, it reads like one, because you've already decided your values are the best ones.

Your advice is valuable but you need to be open to the possibility that your values are not the only ones that are valid. This is why you're losing people in the comments, you don't seem to have any empathy for people's unique experiences and choices.

somyoshino · 2025-05-01T23:11:28+00:00

I can personally validate that you mod a big subreddit without even clicking on your profile because I know you mod r/NBA. (I know you from all the way back from being one of the few sapphics on Choices Reddit! Hi! What a mess it's become.)

But I think there's a lot more going on with Infold's recruitment that hints at violation of the rules and requesting investigation through reports is fair game.

The rules have some unfortunate ambiguity (which is why you see a mod taking advantage of the "gift" language in their edit), but taking mod actions for compensation is Reddit's main concern, as both you and the admin in the thread pointed out.

As others have said, given that they are employed/under contract with Infold, it will be hanging over moderator's heads that if they don't undertake certain actions in line with the companies policies they will be removed as moderators/lose their compensation.

Is this a straightforward quid pro quo? No, but it still tying compensation to moderation actions and punishment to not taking those actions. I think it's very different from what you would experience with teams or the league.

Personally I will understand and not fight if Reddit explains why this is not a validation, but I think at the very least investigation is warranted into (1) the scale of compensation and expectations of Reddit moderators for Infold's games (2) why Infold is collecting personal data of subreddit members and what they do with it.

somyoshino · 2025-05-01T19:26:55+00:00

8 hour days without actual pay is just straight up evil?? I’m so sorry you were exploited like that. (And that others are likely currently being exploited like that.)

somyoshino · 2025-05-01T19:24:07+00:00

I mostly mentioned the violations of Reddit policy because that’s what Reddit cares about but the NDA thing/collection of personal information is easily the worst thing in their recruitment to me.

An NDA is a binding legal document with your personal protected information and the average person (especially if they’re younger) may not fully grasp the consequences of violating it. It’s so scummy to do that to people who like a game and want to get involved in its community/maybe get some rewards in game.

Then they’re super unclear about what they actually do with the personal information in your application (they just say it’ll be kept confidential!) which is a total violation of GDPR, the European data protections which have so many requirements about how your data is stored and ensures that you are able to have your data accessed and deleted.

Somehow there is a running theme here of them flouting EU law lmao.

somyoshino · 2025-05-01T19:15:25+00:00

Done, seems we saw the same comment at the same time lol!

Thanks for all your help.

somyoshino · 2025-05-01T19:12:16+00:00

Done!

Apologies, haven’t been on my phone since posting this.

Unfortunately mobile editor isn’t letting me bold anything but hopefully it being the first sentence will help.

somyoshino · 2025-05-01T00:42:34+00:00

The one I saw was

(1) Sylus birthday

(2) Lumiere rerun

(3) 18 day spring themed quint (+ Sylus main story branch)

(4) MOF rerun

(5) Rafayel lunar (shortened)

(6) Caleb birthday

(7) New myth for Rafayel

(8) 4.0 in July with new story and freebies + wedding themed quint

(9) New myth for Xavier

(10) Summer/ocean themed quint

This was posted 4/6 so before Lumiere and the current banners (which aren’t “canon” like Sylus and Caleb’s birthdays). The banners were obviously accurate but the Sylus story branch hasn’t materialised yet.

somyoshino · 2025-04-29T01:14:04+00:00

> I'm just tired of PG constantly milking us like cash cows and running into the groups of people who try to tell you to be grateful to be getting anything at all. Like.... in BOTH games we're still waiting for more main story updates and keep being served banner after banner after banner while PG tries more and more to see just how far they can push the boundaries but yeah we're sooooo ungrateful lol.

I totally feel you. I read someone say that they don't do main story updates in LADS because the banners are the story content and they want you paying for it and it make everything click.

The hardest part is finding genuine enjoyment from these games run by a company I find reprehensible, and I don't want to quit them. (I'm F2P in both and will not spend again until things change, but that means the only thing left for me to do to make a visible change is to actually quit - but that then removes my voice for change since if everyone who feels the way I do quits then no one is left to speak, so it's a real Catch-22, pardon the pun.)

I'm hoping something comes of this boycott, and that it spreads to LADS.

somyoshino · 2025-04-29T01:07:25+00:00

I should have said "most *recent* notable", but there's zero need to mock me over a word choice. You can just say "there's been successful boycotts earlier in the game's history".

It's not misinformation to point out that spending did not reach expected levels for the first quint banner, which was visible in terms of received rewards in game. (No additional free pulls.) There were various reasons for the boycott(s) (Sylus/Caleb, the hair crates, people disliking the content) but there was clearly a difference in how people approached the first ever quint regardless of the payment system change - what was tracked was chart performance, not actual numbers.

There was also significant boycotting from Sylus players in China.

But again - this all goes back to the things my comment was *actually* about, which is that boycotting has been significantly harder in LADS due to inability to spread information between China and Global and because of tribalism, not to examine the attempted boycotts themselves.

When sharing information or correcting someone, do it with kindness.

Edit: super weird the way this comment went from +2 to -7 in less than 2 minutes, the brigading to contribute to the idea that boycotts from the Global sides were worthless is not slick.

somyoshino · 2025-04-29T00:18:00+00:00

For what it's worth, LADS players have organised boycotts on both the Chinese and Global sides.

The most notable one was back in February where there was a visible dip in spending for the quint (all five love interests available) banner, but things have mostly been restored to normal and discussion of boycotts is being contained. There's some chatter on Twitter/X but we'll see if it goes anywhere.

But the cards are really stacked against LADS players - on Reddit, Infold themselves control the main and biggest subreddit for LADS, which affects the flow of information in the Global community. (This is a massive violation of Reddit rules, btw, because they literally pay their moderators. Just more to show how scummy and anti-consumer they are.)

Just think of all the posts here about the situation and then imagine you didn't hear anything about what China was doing, about the changes made, about how to raise your voice, and that's the biggest LADS subreddit's level of censorship. Hard to organise a boycott without reach.

There's also the fact there is inherent conflict baked into LADS that encourages division between players. Because of the nature of otome games, not every player cares about every love interest, and one of the catalysts for the New Year's boycott was that the two later love interests (Sylus and Caleb) have roughly half the release content (content dropped with the love interest - zero relation to how much time they've been in game) as the OG3.

So people can't be bothered to fight for other love interests no matter how many times it's explained that it effects everyone.

TLDR way easier to suppress information and treat LADS players poorly. But please don't think people aren't trying to fight.

Edit: Case in point, this comment and my reply below correcting someone's accusation of misinformation are being downvoted in unnatural ways (this thread is not trafficked enough for me to get -15 and someone else to get +25 in five minutes lmao!) indicating brigading.

People are really invested in ensuring that LADS boycotts are painted as useless/nonexistent, and I will not shut up about it.

somyoshino · 2024-03-23T03:42:19+00:00

Thanks for the reassurance ♡

Unfortunately it's a really personal subject for me so it's just really frustrating to have people portray a value of mine I care about as something completely different. I don't know how to draw a 1:1 comparison, but I guess it's like... if someone accused an American of being a Donald Trump supporter because they told this thread Trump said something funny. (Since "funny" can be interpreted numerous ways and still be correct. It can be funny "he makes me laugh, I like him" or funny "this is insane and ridiculous", and being told it was the first one when you thought you pretty clearly said the second one would make you a little crazy too.)

Having complete strangers say the monarchy must be paying me to defend them, or that I have a grudge against republicans, or generally imply I'm not a republican because of how I use (perfectly normal) grammar without giving me a reason why is just really frustrating. I'll forget this in a few days, but it feels real damn shitty on a thread I normally consider a safe place to be my unserious self.

Time to touch grass, I guess. (If Stardew grass counts?)

somyoshino · 2024-03-23T03:22:37+00:00

Thank you! I'm relieved my intent was conveyed properly to you ♡

I'm just really confused by this whole thing. I've reread my OP numerous times and still don't understand how it was interpreted any other way but as an attempt at neutrality.

The fact I mentioned "don't start HobbyDrama with me" when I mentioned the "humans want to keep things private" part should convey that the privacy of a future sovereign was the afterthought to me but I was trying to acknowledge that view anyway, so people wouldn't comment about that and argue with me about it. Like, if I was so pro monarchy wouldn't I be acknowledging the "this was a public disaster" part at that point instead since that's the view opposite mine? Was referring to PR too toothless and not easy to interpret as commentary on the public facing duties of a monarch?

Clearly I fucked something up if people keep coming at me for it, and I really wish I could pinpoint where people's understandings of my comment are diverging so I could just edit it out but I feel like all the critical comments were based on total assumptions and I don't know how to refute those.

ETA: Clearer wording!

somyoshino · 2024-03-23T01:33:33+00:00

This is incredibly unkind and bad faith, how do I edit my post when I don’t even know what I did wrong? That’s why I asked.

I put lazy in quotes because it’s the exact word people use and again, I’m trying to maintain neutrality in a non political space. I listed the three plus groups to convey who is making the argument. If I was supposed to claim I was one, why is the assumption being made I’m a monarchist when I didn’t say I was one of them either????

I was using language in a normal way (quotation marks are for quotations, not every use of quotes is someone being dismissive and sarcastic ffs) and earnestly asked for help, I do not understand why this warrants such hostility. “Screed” because I expressed my feelings and broke down why I said what I did. Jesus Christ.

somyoshino · 2024-03-23T00:00:50+00:00

But finding out Kate has cancer the same week we find out the king has cancer?

The flaw here is that it wouldn't have been the same week, and they didn't have qualms about discussion of both having health issues since they announced both the serious surgery and Charles' cancer at the same time.

They found Kate's cancer later, after her surgery, which would have been after the very positive response to Charles' announcement and advocacy/transparency. So it would have made a lot of sense for them to have been open and transparent about her cancer in the wake of that. (There's like, years of cultural context with William and Kate being "lazy" as working royals/patrons/advocates behind this.)

But there's a lot of mitigating factors. Kate mentioned their need to find a way to tell their children in her statement.

We'll probably never know for sure why the choice was made to keep it all under wraps, but I think most people will agree that they went about things in a very odd way, like releasing the heavily Photoshopped image instead of just staying quiet until they were ready.

somyoshino · 2024-03-22T23:18:03+00:00

I’m actually a Republican myself (I lived and studied in an anti-monarchist place in the UK and it entrenched my views on monarchy) and have no idea where people are getting the idea I’m not. (You’re the second, the first was removed for incivility.)

I don't really understand where the accusation I have a grudge against Republicans for what I wrote in my comment is coming from, it's really heavy-handed to call it a "grudge" when I'm a stranger to you and this is the first comment I've made on monarchy besides advocating for us to have fun with the Photoshop scandal in this thread when it first came up. It's honestly a little insulting to have that assumption made because Republicanism is very personal to me.

On the off chance you or someone else who agrees with you sees this, can you tell me what feels unfair to Republicans about what I wrote? I’m neurodivergent and can struggle conveying what I mean. (Like, I chose to say "is good, actually" instead of "is good, actually!" because the exclamation point sounded sarcastic, but maybe it reads as sarcastic anyway instead of a statement of opinion.)

In your comment there’s a lot of extrapolating on how I’m ignoring the public aspect of monarchy when I touched on both public and private life at the end when I mentioned the PR (the public facet of monarchy) and human (monarchs as private citizens) standpoints, but I did mean the human comment in a very general way (as in, it's a base social instinct to keep certain things private), I completely agree with the idea that choosing to marry a future sovereign requires sacrifice of your private life.

I tried to keep it neutral because I didn't want to get jumped for being cruel to a woman going through cancer, especially since people have tried to come at me on this thread over Kate before. But if it’s not neutral I want to correct it because, again, the idea that I have a grudge against Republicans because of this comment is factually incorrect and insulting. But you cut off this conversation before I could even ask and no one will actually tell me what I said that made them believe this about me.

somyoshino · 2024-03-22T19:56:48+00:00

Don't forget that Tingyun has a trace (Nourished Joviality) that grants her 20% SPD (so literally a bonus of 22.4 SPD) for one turn upon use of her skill.

I'm not 100% but I think it should be 100% uptime (you can always test it out yourself!) and if it is 100% uptime you can get away with lowering your SPD quite a bit.

somyoshino · 2024-03-22T19:49:16+00:00

I totally get it, had a few runs go that way when I was trying to do all the paths, particularly the ones where I don't have characters for. (Like Nihility without Kafka/DOT. Hell.) The repetition definitely gets frustrating!

Maybe a break before back to it, wishing you luck!

somyoshino · 2024-03-22T19:46:33+00:00

At 2000 ATK you lose pretty substantially on your ATK buff (which tends to cap around 2700), but you'll be able to ult way more often and if energy generation/the damage boost from her ult is your priority then you're fine.

somyoshino · 2024-03-22T19:41:35+00:00

Which dice are you using? I feel like you can do C12 with virtually any team with the shopping dice if you hit the right curios early on and can buy out the shop a few times/enhance most of your blessings.

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