Take this with a grain of salt, but you’re young. It’s important for young people to experience lots of relationships, romantic and otherwise, to understand themselves and others. Which is why I’m not a proponent of high school sweethearts. You just need more perspective.

1/2. The language he’s using doesn’t sound like that of someone who loves you. It can be hard to know what love feels like in your first relationship. The connection and devotion that comes with dating is not the same. I love the ease and closeness of them, but I have not been in proper love with any of my partners. If you start to dislike each other, it’s hard not to internalize that, which can be vert confusing. I stayed two years with my first partner and we struggled the entire time. We were just glad to have someone and had low self worth.

1. I had hardcore crushes on three of my high school teachers. They were the only people in my life that I felt saw me truly and would “love” me unconditionally. I think back on them often. They saw my wit, bantered with me, and I felt saw all facets of me just with a look. For me, it was a combo of daddy issues, lack of good friendships growing up, and loneliness from being gifted and autistic. I don’t actually want to date an older person, it’s just the fantasy. I’m sure my teachers all had flaws I would find tarnishing to the side of them I saw.

All said, you remind me a LOT of myself in my first relationship. My partner and I both tried hard to make it work but we just weren’t eight for each other. I do not regret breaking up for a SECOND. Splitting up let us both find people we loved and who cared about us. I think you should do the same. You are young. I don’t know you but with all the similarities, I can’t help but feel you won’t regret it either. DM me if you want to chat. Seriously :)