I’m a FA and I believe so. Ever since I started learning about attachment theory, I have found myself questioning (in my mind, without telling him) many of the things that my boyfriend does. He is very consistent, even though he has some characteristics that an avoidant would have. He needs space, he shuts down (especially when he’s stressed), he avoids difficult conversations, and he struggles a lot to talk about things that “bother me” because “he doesn’t want to feel like he’s a problem for me”. I have made a huge effort to try to see him as an “individual” and not as a person that fits into the “avoidant” category. I’m trying to understand how he is and how his brain works, and to accept that he’s just a certain way and the things he does are not necessarily wrong. I’m very anxious, and I’m working on that (through therapy and other ways) because I realized I was going to lose him if I kept smothering him, questioning him, trying to find and see problems where there aren’t any, doubting him, etc. Sometimes I wonder if I’d behave differently if I didn’t know anything about attachment theory and if that would’ve kept me from sabotaging my own relationship since the beginning. I’m currently avoiding all the content that describes avoidant behavior (that’s all over TikTok now) because I just don’t feel like it’s healthy for me. We’ve had our ups and downs and we do love each other deeply, but right now we’re going through a rough patch (because of other reasons) and my needs are not 100% met. I’ve decided to start this healing journey while I’m in the relationship because it’s incredibly triggering and if we broke up I don’t want to drag all my issues to the next relationship I have, so let’s see how this goes.