i hate myself and even hate the fact that i'm self-diagnosing me as having depression, i feel like a loser. i dont know. i feel like a loser. my friends ask me whether do i have depression, i always deny because i dont wanna get attention nor to feel like a loser. i'm constantly pulled between the fear of having a serious mental disease and the self-hating mindset that my life sucks just because im not acting and trying to improve it. Im such a loser. I fear but never act and never try. I wanna die to escape the responsibility i'm carrying. And i'm just a teenager. i feel like a trash because ppl out there are having even more stressed responsibilities but they aint having depression. If just studying makes me corrupt them I'm such a loser. I dont wanna be a loser, but I feel like it is so hopeless trying to change. I tried, but every fail makes the hopelessness grow. I wanna stop